What to do with prostitutes

OK, here's a proposition.

Prostitution is bad for most prostitutes.

Forget Nevada, New Zealand, Holland; the vast majority of the world's prostitutes operate in a grey zone of illegality and police corruption.

This is the exact same argument used to ban marijuana on the grounds that it's a "gateway drug." It doesn't make sense in that context and it doesn't make sense here.

The fact that you want us to "forget Nevada, New Zealand, Holland" shows that you need to disregard places where prostitution is legal in order for your argument to work. The sensible conclusion, as others have pointed out, is that illegal prostitution is bad for most prostitutes. Legal prostitution is demonstrably much better.
 
Having a partner is one of the things that prostitutes sacrifice. Nobody wants a whore for a girl-friend.

And even if they find a temporary partner, their sex-life is ruined - how can it have any semblance of normality, given the context.
I think those in the adult film industry would beg to differ, as well as those in the legal prostitution industry. There are many individuals married and in steady relationships. You assume that because sex with someone else is involved that love cannot exist. This is your own bias, not one based on fact.

such cyncism, myl; sex is always a transaction, is it ? I agree on the give and take part - good sex implies consideration and compromise - but paying a price ?
I just said there was a price, I never said that the price was automatically bad, or negative. The price I paid when first slept with the man I'm with now was an elevated sense of trust that lead to giving him my heart and to marriage. I still paid a price, it wasn't some free act that I had and then just went on my way... I was different after than I was before.
 
In ancient societies, high-class prostitutes could bring status and fame to those that they married.

This was true in Feudal Japan, at the least. But there some to-die-for courtesans and concubines.
 
And you'll have to provide evidence that prostitution is bad for most prostitutes before I'll accept that comment at face value.

Well, I went to look for some evidence, tgho, and found Melissa Farley, but apparently she's disqualified because she's a feminist, or because she has political opinions, or something.

Never mind that she's been a practising qualified psychologist for more than 40 years.

I'm a feminist too, by the way. Does that disqualify me from this discussion as well ?

I said :

Here's some facts :

1. Prostitutes are more at risk of physical attack than any other profession.

2. Prostitutes are more at risk of sexual assault than any other profession.

and tgho replied :

Only where prostitution is illegal.


... unfortunately, that is rather most of the planet, isn't it ?

So the facts remain...



My observations about prostitution pertain to prostitution now , not in some hypothetical future. I agree that global decriminalization would significantly reduce the incidence of physical and sexual assault. But we don't have that yet, do we ?

As things stand, right now, prostitution globally is mostly a highly dangerous profession, potentially very damaging to its practitioners' mental and physical health.

And anecdotal examples of happily-married prostitutes in enlightened places such as Nevada and New Zealand do not alter the wider picture.

I said that prostitution is not a respectable profession - on the whole, it is criminalized, marginalized, and its practitioners denied human rights such as a written employment contract, the right to belong to a union, and basic health and safety.


Some of you say that this is simply the result of its illegality - remove the illegality, and these problems would disappear.


Which begs the question: why was it criminalized in the first place, and why, given its reputation as 'the world's oldest profession', has it never become a legitimate profession ?



Easy.

Because it's not respectable. Society has so little respect for prostitution, it never bothers to make it legitimate.




I asked why one might object to one's wife becoming a prostitute; tgho said:

I would object solely on the ground that I'm a monogamous person

... thus proving my point. The vast majority of human societies are based on monogamy (legally or psychologically). Prostitutes in those societies therefore become undesirable as a girl-friend or partner or wife to the majority of men in their society.

Anecdotal rebuttals notwithstanding.


How does the exchange of money make a difference? Exactly what changes when money changes hands?

The meaning of the experience changes. Therefore the experience changes.


I said;

Having a partner is one of the things that prostitutes sacrifice. Nobody wants a whore for a girl-friend

wheezebucket said :

Are you ****ing kidding me? So a woman who has sex for money is somehow less than a person? Tell that to my friend who's married to a prostitute, I'm sure he'd love to hear that the woman he loves is, in your eyes, a sub-human
.

You've lost me there, wheezeB. Where am I saying prostitutes are less than people ? (You're not confusing me with gia again, are you ?)

And it's somewhat ironic, in that I'm trying to focus on the reality of a prostitute's life - acknowledging the endemic distress, anxiety, danger, violence, hatred and contempt which are their normal working conditions.

(Except in certain few enlightened places).

Again, please stop confusing your Disney fantasies with reality.

I'm not fantasizing. On the contrary. It seems to me that some of you have a highly romantic perception of prostitution, incorporating loving partners who don't have a problem with it, respect from everybody including immediate family, weekly blood-tests that are no cause for anxiety, and minimal impact of the day-job on their own sex-lives etc etc ...

I admit that might be the reality for some prostitutes; but very few.

And try not to delude yourself into thinking you're better than somebody just because they don't subscribe to your twisted ideas about morality

Again, are you mixing me up with gia ? I've stated quite clearly that I think prostitution per se is neither immoral nor unethical - merely dangerous and damaging. I have made no moral judgment at all.


Gnu.
 
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Gnu Odore said:
Which begs the question: why was it criminalized in the first place...

Religious "morality".

...and why, given its reputation as 'the world's oldest profession', has it never become a legitimate profession ?

Wrong. It has been a legitimate profession.

In Japan. Or courtesans. Or concubines. All legitimate professions at one point of time or another.
 
The sensible conclusion, as others have pointed out, is that illegal prostitution is bad for most prostitutes. Legal prostitution is demonstrably much better.


Agreed, todd.

My point is that (wild-guess alert) 90% of prostitution is illegal.

So, my proposition holds :

Prostitution is bad for most prostitutes.

As I said.











The price I paid when first slept with the man I'm with now was an elevated sense of trust that lead to giving him my heart and to marriage.


I don't understand, myl. I understand (I think) that you decided to trust your partner more than you'd trusted anyone before... with the evidently happy result that your trust was reciprocated and love grew and led to marriage...

So what price did you pay, exactly ? You didn't buy your husband, did you ?

And he didn't buy you ?

But you say the price you paid was your 'elevated sense of trust'.

I don't know what you mean by that, sorry..


Gnu.
 
In ancient societies, high-class prostitutes could bring status and fame to those that they married.


Well, I'm curious, Lonewulf.

Name me a man from an ancient society who is famed for marrying a high-class prostitute. No googling - if you have to google him, he can't be famous...

While you're at it, name me a famous man in contemporary society who is married to a working prostitute.






Wrong. It has been a legitimate profession.

In Japan. Or courtesans. Or concubines. All legitimate professions at one point of time or another.


I mean in the whole world. The exceptions prove the rule. Prostitution does not, on the whole, globally speaking, have the same legitimacy as accountancy, taxi-driving, medecine, manufacturing or tourism etc ...


.
 
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Well, I'm curious, Lonewulf.

Name me a man from an ancient society who is famed for marrying a high-class prostitute. No googling - if you have to google him, he can't be famous...

From the middle ages? In Japan?

I do not memorize Japanese history.

Now, don't google:

Name me every famous person from Japan. This includes all samurai, Daimyo, lords, ladies, emporers, etc. No googling names, Gnu.

You see, you fail to realize something. "Fame" in a given society in a given time period DOES NOT IMPLY FAME TODAY. Got it? I'll use more simple words:

Just because he was famous over there, over then, does not make him famous here, now. Got it?

While you're at it, name me a famous man in contemporary society who is married to a working prostitute.

Some names were given already, earlier in this thread. You do read posts, don't you?

I mean in the whole world. The exceptions prove the rule. Prostitution does not, on the whole, globally speaking, have the same legitimacy as accountancy, taxi-driving, medecine, manufacturing or tourism etc ... .

Taxi-driving? I did not realize taxi-driving was a high-class profession. That's a pretty ignorant thing to say -- perhaps you don't know any higher-class prostitutes, and assume they're all degenerate streetwalkers? :rolleyes:

As for medicine -- how much research and knowledge does it take to become a doctor? How much research and knowledge does it take to have decent sex? Comparing the two is ludicrous. Your argument fails.
 
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Well, I'm curious, Lonewulf.

Name me a man from an ancient society who is famed for marrying a high-class prostitute. No googling - if you have to google him, he can't be famous...

While you're at it, name me a famous man in contemporary society who is married to a working prostitute.


I mean in the whole world. The exceptions prove the rule. Prostitution does not, on the whole, globally speaking, have the same legitimacy as accountancy, taxi-driving, medecine, manufacturing or tourism etc ...


.


Let's apply your own test. Name a famous person in contemporary society married to each of a taxi driver, an accountant, a doctor, a factory worker and a hotel clerk.
 
Well, I'm curious, Lonewulf.

Name me a man from an ancient society who is famed for marrying a high-class prostitute.

Try King David or King Soloman. Both allegedly had, in their retinue of concubines and wives, a number of high-society prostitutes, from a time when prostitution was not seen as a bad thing.

Prostitution even in the U.S. was legal until fairly recently. It was the extensive proliferation of bigoted religious fundamentalists that forced most prostitution to go underground.

Gnu, you're obviously not a scholar of history, are you?

Modern conservatism, fueled by religious fundamentalism, led to several events that changed society - some we accept as granted, and some that we have since overturned, or are in the process of so doing. I think the only reason there's not a big push to legalize prostitution, is there isn't a big push to enforce the laws against it. Legal action against prostitutes in the U.S., for example, is little more than a mild irritation to the prostitutes. Ladies are rounded up and released in cycles, but other than occasional drug busts, nothing ever comes of all these arrests. In fact, many police forces are fully aware of the population of working ladies, and use them as sources of information in criminal investigations.

After all, when we compare prostitution to drug distribution, child slavery, etc., prostitution becomes an extremely low priority crime.

Your posts are very weak lately on this subject, too... without meaning to, you've inferred several times that prostitution is not respectable because it's criminal... which means, simply, that legalizing it will cause it to become respectable.

Certainly in places where it is legal, it is also respected. (Hence your desire to avoid talking about places where it's legal!)

The indication is clear - any profession that we criminalize, we lose respect for; and any profession we decriminalize, we gain respect for. Since the largest problems with prostitution stem from the profession's criminal status, the solution to all the problems with prostitution should be clear and simple: legalize prostitution.

Simple.
 
Well, I'm curious, Lonewulf.

Name me a man from an ancient society who is famed for marrying a high-class prostitute. No googling - if you have to google him, he can't be famous...


As I have previously said, The Epic of Gilgamesh, the first work of literature in human history, features the coupling of Enkidu with the prostitute Shambat.

Some say these individuals may have been real. They were certainly well respected.
 
From the middle ages? In Japan?

I do not memorize Japanese history.

I didn't specify that, lonewulf.

You said :

In ancient societies, high-class prostitutes could bring status and fame to those that they married.

So I asked for an example, ok ?

Is that too much to ask ?

As you say, fame then may not equate to fame now...

So, at least give me an example of someone who achieved fame 'then'...



While you're thinkimg about it, explain why the rule changed. In ancient societies, a man could achieve status and fame by marrying a high-class prostitute... But you can't do that these days, apparently ... why is that ?



Some names were given already, earlier in this thread. You do read posts, don't you?

I must have missed that. Give me a surname to search for, I'll have a look....


Taxi-driving? I did not realize taxi-driving was a high-class profession

Who said anything about 'high-class' ? I was talking about legitimacy. In most societies, being a taxi-driver is a legitimate occupation, whereas prostitution is not.


G.
 
Try King David or King Soloman. Both allegedly had, in their retinue of concubines and wives, a number of high-society prostitutes, from a time when prostitution was not seen as a bad thing.


You miss the point, z.

David and Solomon did not achieve fame by marrying prostitutes.

They were famous people who used prostitutes.

Gnu, you're obviously not a scholar of history, are you?


No, I'm not, but I still know how to spell Solomon.


Gnu.
 
Well, I went to look for some evidence, tgho, and found Melissa Farley, but apparently she's disqualified because she's a feminist, or because she has political opinions, or something.

Never mind that she's been a practising qualified psychologist for more than 40 years.

I'm a feminist too, by the way. Does that disqualify me from this discussion as well ?


The reason I state that Melissa Farley should be discounted is because she's an anti-sex feminist. She quite clearly states that all sex work, regardless of type, is extremely harmful to women. She is of the same mould as Andrea Dworkin and Catharine MacKinnon. This type of feminist has a basic belief that anything involving men and sex is Bad(tm), and that all women are victims. This means that her research is not objective. It has a major bias inherent within it, and needs to be examined with that clearly in mind.

Finding objective research on prostitution is difficult - see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution and follow some of the links at the bottom of the page. It's quickly obvious that there really is no consensus on what researchers think about prostitution, it really does seem to depend on the researcher's personal bias. (Yes, this includes both pro- and anti-sex researchers.) The majority of research is thus coloured by the researcher's views, and one has to take a balanced approach, using both pro- and anti-sex papers.

This is one article I've referred to in the past, it's an academic piece by a researcher here in Australia:
http://www.aic.gov.au/publications/lcj/working/index.html
but even that one has its detractors.

Being a feminist oneself doesn't preclude one from entering the discussion, but be aware that personal bias will also colour your perceptions.

I said :

and tgho replied :

... unfortunately, that is rather most of the planet, isn't it ?


Yes, unfortunately the majority of the world has not yet legalised prostitution. I'm glad I'm living in a country which has, and I hope the rest of the world follows along soon.


So the facts remain...

My observations about prostitution pertain to prostitution now , not in some hypothetical future. I agree that global decriminalization would significantly reduce the incidence of physical and sexual assault. But we don't have that yet, do we ?

As things stand, right now, prostitution globally is mostly a highly dangerous profession, potentially very damaging to its practitioners' mental and physical health.

And anecdotal examples of happily-married prostitutes in enlightened places such as Nevada and New Zealand do not alter the wider picture.

I said that prostitution is not a respectable profession - on the whole, it is criminalized, marginalized, and its practitioners denied human rights such as a written employment contract, the right to belong to a union, and basic health and safety.

Some of you say that this is simply the result of its illegality - remove the illegality, and these problems would disappear.


This is basically true. If the problems that most prostitutes face is due to the illegal nature of their profession, then removing the illegality would remove the majority of these problems.

Here in Australia, once prostitution was legalised, the incidents of assault and violence against prostitutes dramatically dropped. The incidents of health issues of sex workers also dramatically dropped, as these people could now apply for government health benefits. Yes, they also now have to pay income tax, but this is a small price to pay for legitimacy.

Basically, your argument here falls over once prostitution is legalised.

Which begs the question: why was it criminalized in the first place, and why, given its reputation as 'the world's oldest profession', has it never become a legitimate profession ?

Easy.

Because it's not respectable.


Why is prostitution seen as non-respectable? There are two answers to this question:

1) Religion

2) Criminalisation

Removing the illegality of prostitution solves one of these issues. The religion issue is a lot more problematic, and will take a lot longer to solve.

I asked why one might object to one's wife becoming a prostitute; tgho said:

... thus proving my point. The vast majority of human societies are based on monogamy (legally or psychologically). Prostitutes in those societies therefore become undesirable as a girl-friend or partner or wife to the majority of men in their society.

Anecdotal rebuttals notwithstanding.


No, that's my personal view. As I also noted, I have several friends who are in polygamous relationships, presumably one partner using the services of a prostitute, or having a prostitute as a partner would not be an issue there.

The argument of the monogamous basis of human society is completely off the track. We've ample evidence that humans are not really monogamous - if this was the case, then prostitution, adultery and polygamy simply would not exist.

The meaning of the experience changes. Therefore the experience changes.


I really don't see that you have a valid argument here. Sex is sex, and very enjoyable sex can be had between complete strangers who only met minutes before. The exchanging of money does not change the physical act of sex in the slightest.

I think this is more a personal bias of your own. Many, many people use the service of prostitutes every single day. If the sex one obtained from a professional was different, or not as enjoyable, than the sex one obtained from a partner in a relationship, prostitution would have died out a long time ago.

Cheers,
TGHO
 
The indication is clear - any profession that we criminalize, we lose respect for; and any profession we decriminalize, we gain respect for. Since the largest problems with prostitution stem from the profession's criminal status, the solution to all the problems with prostitution should be clear and simple: legalize prostitution.

Simple.

Fair enough.

But it hasn't happened, has it ?

There's been ample opportunity, over hundreds of years, for prostitution to become mainstream and legitimate...

but it's never happened.

why do you think that is ?



Let's apply your own test. Name a famous person in contemporary society married to each of a taxi driver, an accountant, a doctor, a factory worker and a hotel clerk.


I could do that, jon.

Off the top of my head, Neil Young is married to a nurse, Bob Dylan's wife was a teacher, Billy Connolly's wife is a therapist (or Pamela Stevenson's husband is a comedian, as you wish)... I'm sure I could find other equally mundane examples... so what's your point, exactly ?


My question remains :

While you're at it, name me a famous man in contemporary society who is married to a working prostitute.


.
 
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There's been ample opportunity, over hundreds of years, for prostitution to become mainstream and legitimate...

but it's never happened.

Who says? It's always been mainstream, no matter how much the snobbery of any particular era might want to pretend to look the other way, and yes, it's even been legitimate, in some forms, in many cultures. Just because modern Western society isn't one of them doesn't mean anything.
 
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I don't understand, myl. I understand (I think) that you decided to trust your partner more than you'd trusted anyone before... with the evidently happy result that your trust was reciprocated and love grew and led to marriage...

So what price did you pay, exactly ? You didn't buy your husband, did you ?

And he didn't buy you ?

But you say the price you paid was your 'elevated sense of trust'.

I don't know what you mean by that, sorry..


Gnu.
I'm trying to decide if you being purposefully obtuse, or really don't understand. You ask if I paid in money, but my point was that I paid in something, someone going to a prostitute simply pays in cash. Different tender, still an exchange.

You said that: "So there can be no price on loving sex - and so it can't be bought"

But my whole entire point is that a price paid doesn't have anything to do with "being bought".

This whole disagreement started with the idea that someone else sees casual sex as enjoyable as relationship sex. You don't, and from there you and I managed to start our own little quest to understand what the definition of "is" is. We get that you don't do casual, and don't care for casual... So, don't do casual. That others do like casual is really up to them. The definition of casual is different for you than, say, Z. (Though I'm in no way claiming to know what Z's definition of casual is. I'm just using him as an example. From what I've read I don't think he'll mind too much my using him:D ) You take the idea that in casual sex you're on the couch, necking... It's exciting, wondering how far she'll let you go, thrilling in the next touch, etc. But, again, this isn't everyone's idea of "casual". Oft times it's well understood between 2 people where the evening is headed, there are no games, no wondering where it's going to lead. That kind of casual is very much the same as with a prostitute, except in that case she isn't there because she digs you, but because you're paying her. You have decided that for you this is unacceptable, and that's fine, but don't assume that because the one is void of emotional attachment that it is somehow false, fake and demeaning. Sex can be false, fake and demeaning without ever a cent exchanging hands.
 
Name me a man from an ancient society who is famed for marrying a high-class prostitute. No googling - if you have to google him, he can't be famous...


Napoleon Bonaparte. He needed a rich wife to fund his ambitions. She earned the money she brought to the table in a way you apparently would not approve of. In addition, they were lovers before they married.
 
Napoleon Bonaparte. He needed a rich wife to fund his ambitions. She earned the money she brought to the table in a way you apparently would not approve of. In addition, they were lovers before they married.

I was unaware of that Hokulele; after a quick google, I'm afraid I'm still unaware of it.

Assuming you're referring to his first wife, Josephine, her wiki article does not describe her as a prostitute, and there's no indication that she was particularly wealthy.

As for Napoleon needing a rich wife to fund his ambitions... at the time they met in December 1795, he had been a professional soldier for ten years, and had attained the rank of Brigadier-General, just about to be given command of the French army which invaded Italy in March 1796, days after his wedding to Josephine.

So I reckon he was doing pretty well without her.

And I found no evidence that this invasion of Italy was funded by Josephine's money.



And for the nth time, I do not regard prostitution as immoral or unethical, and so don't 'disapprove' of it.


I'm trying to decide if you being purposefully obtuse, or really don't understand.

I really don't understand, myl. You say :

You ask if I paid in money, but my point was that I paid in something

I'm asking you what the something is that you paid.

You said the price you paid was your 'elevated sense of trust'.

I still don't know what you mean by that, sorry..


This whole disagreement started with the idea that someone else sees casual sex as enjoyable as relationship sex. You don't,

No, you've misunderstood me, myl. The distinction is between paid-for-sex, a commercial transaction on the one hand, and non-commercial sex on the other.

Non-commercial sex might be lust or love, committed or casual, deep or superficial - either way, hopefully it will be reciprocal, mutual, respectful and balanced (it may not be these things, of course).

So I don't have a problem with casual sex, myl.

Oft times it's well understood between 2 people where the evening is headed, there are no games, no wondering where it's going to lead.

agreed, myl...

That kind of casual is very much the same as with a prostitute,...

... in the sense that there's no doubt about what's going to happen, agreed.

But

... except in that case she isn't there because she digs you, but because you're paying her.

Exactly.

The reciprocity and mutuality evaporate. You're no longer two lovers (or friends, or stangers), both doing something because you dig it and because you dig each other.

You're a prostitute and a john. The woman's desire and preferences become irrelevant; the encounter focuses on the man's satisfaction, not hers. Who cares whether she comes or not ?

(Does a john, having had his orgasm, considerately enquire of the prostitute whether she has come herself, and if she hasn't, perhaps he could help her to do so ? No, he doesn't, and she'd laugh at him if he did).

It's not that kind of relationship any more.



as tgho said :

Mutual pleasure is the primary purpose of sex.

Agreed, tgho. And the purpose of paid-for-sex is not mutual pleasure.

Money has killed the mutuality stone dead - the concept of reciprocal enjoyment no longer applies.

The sexual attraction is only flowing one way (usually).

Which is why the experience of commercial sex is very different to that of freely-given sex.

Not worse - just different.




Gnu.
 
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