Merged Their Return

[Marcus]

Ah, now we're getting into an area with a much more consistent and well documented history than that of UFO's. Every good bestiary has a unicorn, but where are the little green men?

What you need to get unicorns is a virgin. Unicorns are considered reliable virgin detectors. Make sure she's a real one, though, because they have a rather nasty habit of impaling imposters. You just round up a virgin, and set her out in a field where there have been unicorn sightings. The unicorn will come along and lay its head in her lap, and fall asleep. You can then capture the unicorn, and slaughter it for its horn. The now confirmed virgin can then be married off to the highest bidder. Accounts of successful unicorn hunts are unclear as to the disposition of the meat, but your master of the hounds can probably help you to clear up the leftovers.

That was very helpful. On a related note, it seems to me that the FSM could be considered alien, despite the implied terrestrial origin of pasta-like components. How would one go about attracting His Noodleness down from the heavens?

 

[King of the Americas]

Although I know this may well be lost on our international friends who don't follow Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer's game show Shooting Stars, the way to coax something down from above is to 'coo' like a dove and motion with your fingers.

As retorts go, this one is neither funny, nor informative.

"Don't retreat, reload."

Take another shot buddy, I think you've got something useful in you, we just have to figure how how to get it past your ego.

 

[King of the Americas]

We can coax them down by telling them that earth girls are easy.

I recall this working in the past...

 

[King of the Americas]

Maybe if we vote Jack Nicholson in as President?

*Yawn*

 

[King of the Americas]

Maybe you can help me. I want to coax some unicorns into my house.

I know this is bending the rules, but I've seen single horned quadrupeds, a half a dozen at least in my life. Some more convincing than others, but none with wings...

That'll be a tricky one, I'll bet.

My point is that a 'version' of unicorns have and do exist, if not as they has been fictionalized, but they do exist in some form.

Have you ever heard of the lumberjack who work alone with a black ox who glistened blue in the sun, he hefted a hand made axe, and he and his animal could do the work of 2 men and two horses. He stood a half a man taller than most, and was an axe handle wide at the shoulders.

You likely know him as the inflated Paul Bunyan. Some claim there was a real man behind the myth...

 

[King of the Americas]

Coax who down, KotA? If their not aliens, as you say, and they are supposedly are an advanced us they would have no problems coming here on their own accord without any coaxing.

Oh, and another thing, you said they left before recorder time? How can that be because they would have been advanced enough to have left some kind record as they evolved.


I Am He

How does the rat in the maze get the maze maker's attention?

First, I don't know what happened, I wasn't there, and I haven't seen pre-historic evidence.

I am simply suggesting that this 'could' have happened. It is NOT necessary for U.F.O.'s to travel interstellar distances, for reports of them to be accurate. They have ALWAYS been in our skies, according to every ancient text and modern media from around the world.

If in fact, we are as isolated as skeptics believe, then I'd say this possibility is more a likelihood.

 

[King of the Americas]

...

GREAT picture.

 

[dafydd]

I know this is bending the rules, but I've seen single horned quadrupeds, a half a dozen at least in my life. Some more convincing than others, but none with wings...

That'll be a tricky one, I'll bet.

My point is that a 'version' of unicorns have and do exist, if not as they has been fictionalized, but they do exist in some form.

Have you ever heard of the lumberjack who work alone with a black ox who glistened blue in the sun, he hefted a hand made axe, and he and his animal could do the work of 2 men and two horses. He stood a half a man taller than most, and was an axe handle wide at the shoulders.

You likely know him as the inflated Paul Bunyan. Some claim there was a real man behind the myth...

Now you are trolling. Cheerio.

 

[dafydd]

How does the rat in the maze get the maze maker's attention?

First, I don't know what happened, I wasn't there, and I haven't seen pre-historic evidence.

I am simply suggesting that this 'could' have happened. It is NOT necessary for U.F.O.'s to travel interstellar distances, for reports of them to be accurate. They have ALWAYS been in our skies, according to every ancient text and modern media from around the world.

If in fact, we are as isolated as skeptics believe, then I'd say this possibility is more a likelihood.

One last one. Always? How for back in the Earth's 4.5 billion year history do you go back with that?

 

[GeeMack]

You're new, so allow me to explain how wrong you are.

That you found the need to post, but not offer a solution reeks more of laziness, than intellectualism.

Clearly you don't want to play, so get out of way.

Start your own thread! This is a 'how to get the E.T's to descend', if the anecdotes are all correct, thread.

If you don't wish to take part, you may leave.

Your wit is only exceeded by your lack of originality.

It is no longer a wonder why I had you on my ignore list...

If you don't want to take part in the actual intended discussion, excuse yourself.

And...

As retorts go, this one is neither funny, nor informative.

"Don't retreat, reload."

Take another shot buddy, I think you've got something useful in you, we just have to figure how how to get it past your ego.

Stray Cat's was as good a suggestion as any, and was met with dismissive rudeness.

Now you are trolling. Cheerio.

Indeed. There seems to be little evidence to indicate otherwise.

 

[Stray Cat]

As retorts go, this one is neither funny, nor informative.

Although the humour of Vic and Bob is an acquired taste, it is a rather sweeping statement from you to claim some unilateral unfunnyness and says more about your shortcomings than mine.
Also I'm sure it may have informed some people of the Dove from Above round of Vic and Bob's popular TV quiz show which directly answers your question about how to coax something down.

Take another shot buddy, I think you've got something useful in you, we just have to figure how how to get it past your ego.

My ego?

I don't remember me starting a thread demanding that everyone buys into my alien fantasies.

 

[King of the Americas]

One last one. Always? How for back in the Earth's 4.5 billion year history do you go back with that?

I have no idea...

I just take it as a possibility.

 

[King of the Americas]

...

My ego?

I don't remember me starting a thread demanding that everyone buys into my alien fantasies.

Would you like to further the intended topic of discussion?

 

[GeeMack]

Would you like to further the intended topic of discussion?

Looking up the page a bit... Yes, I see where Stray Cat attempted to further the intended topic of discussion and was met with this response...

Take another shot buddy, I think you've got something useful in you, we just have to figure how how to get it past your ego.

 

[King of the Americas]

Looking up the page a bit... Yes, I see where Stray Cat attempted to further the intended topic of discussion and was met with this response...

GeeMack,

If U.F.O.'s were piloted by the gods of the ancients texts, how might we get them to come back down?

*Do you think it would be a good idea to invite them, as a global society, to descend during a "Moment Skyward" section of the Opening Ceremonies of the next Olympics?

 

[Stray Cat]

GeeMack,

If U.F.O.'s were piloted by the gods of the ancients texts, how might we get them to come back down?

*Do you think it would be a good idea to invite them, as a global society, to descend during a "Moment Skyward" section of the Opening Ceremonies of the next Olympics?

The next Olympics are happening in London.
We don't want them coming thanks... Parking is already a nightmare in London and those motherships take up way too much room.

 

[King of the Americas]

The next Olympics are happening in London.
We don't want them coming thanks... Parking is already a nightmare in London and those motherships take up way too much room.

Maybe this will encourage those limey bastards to build a much more efficient public transportation system...

*Please support adding "a moment skyward" to the opening ceremonies:

pressoffice@olympic.org

 

[GeeMack]

GeeMack,

If U.F.O.'s were piloted by the gods of the ancients texts, how might we get them to come back down?

*Do you think it would be a good idea to invite them, as a global society, to descend during a "Moment Skyward" section of the Opening Ceremonies of the next Olympics?

I think whoever made up the scenario left out some very important points. All the responses so far have answered to the fantasy. Nobody said this, that, or the other thing was against the rules. Do these made up aliens understand English, French, Morse Code? Can they read sheet music? Are they able to perceive varying frequencies of light, radio waves, sound? Do they see everything in black and white, red and blue, a range of colors far beyond our own ability to see colors? Are they a million miles away, a thousand, hiding behind the moon, just outside our atmosphere but cloaked and invisible? Do we have to wait for them to come through a time hole or from another dimension? Can we send our request through that time hole or into that other dimension? Psychically? By smell? With shapes? Does a cake with varying thicknesses of layers mean something to these made up aliens? And that's just getting started.

Somebody left out a whole lot of material when they made up the alien story, and the rude flippant replies to these good people's comments are patently offensive being that the person making up the scenario neglected to provide necessary parts of the story.

So answer all the questions I asked above, and every other conceivable question anyone could have about those made up aliens of yours, and then maybe people will be willing to play your little thought experiment the way you like. Until then, there's clearly only one person responsible for the lack of proper communication here. Don't pass that blame onto those who are responding.

 

[King of the Americas]

I think whoever made up the scenario left out some very important points.

...

Do YOU think we should, at the VERY least, attempt to invite them to one of our global spectacles, like the Olympics, and do you support my "moment skyward" notion being added to the opening ceremonies?

 

[Stray Cat]

Maybe this will encourage those limey bastards to build a much more efficient public transportation system...

*Please support adding "a moment skyward" to the opening ceremonies:

pressoffice@olympic.org

So this isn't imaginary afterall?

I doubt that the Olympic committee would appreciate an email saying:

Dear Sir/Madam
We are engaging in an anonymous internet forum member's fantasy and therefore would like you to waste even more UK tax payers money on a 'moment skyward' in order to see if the imaginary aliens can be coaxed down to make use of the much improved public transport system we imagined we had installed just for them.

Yours sincerely
Stray Cat

PS: Does the Northern Line run to the outer atmosphere, if so they can leave their imaginary mothership moored to the imaginary Sky Hook Boris has built for them and catch the 5.30 to Kings Cross from there.