Merged Their Return

[Dave Rogers]

I was thinking "Which way to wet bar?"

You think they'd hold the high jump under water?

Dave

ETA: I was going to say "pole vault", but how would a dolphin hold the pole?

 

[King of the Americas]

Are you feeling alright?

I was all left yesterday... I think the pendulum is back to the middle today.

 

[King of the Americas]

More likely we were engineered to be bald by aliens than say, we were aquatic apes? Or that we were a very special ape that after first becoming bipedal,..lived in very hot and arid conditions and then evolved to sprint and jog to run down prey over a period of hours and developed a way to sweat to stay cool?

Why the hell would the aliens just want us to be bald if we would need clothing to survive?

Evolution must equal sexy. Natural selection dictates that successful genes only get passed along if that trait holder is the one mating.

So what is sexy about the shivering pink dude wearing the rotting animal carcass?

I think the bald came with the brains, and aided in our separation from the animals.

 

[King of the Americas]

If we are playing "what if" I would like to say that there is no reason why aliens would find humans even remotely sexually attractive. From a pure aesthetics point of view even humans find other animals, such as cats and dolphins, to be very attractive.

Hey, maybe house cats are the real alien hybrids among us! It would explain so much!

Start your own thread! This is a 'how to get the E.T's to descend', if the anecdotes are all correct, thread.

 

[King of the Americas]

You think they'd hold the high jump under water?

Dave

ETA: I was going to say "pole vault", but how would a dolphin hold the pole?

Beats me. Do a little brainstorming and we'll go over your list at a later date.

 

[Cuddles]

Clearly you don't want to play

Oh, I am playing. I'm just not playing your game. So, are you going to admit that your OP was incredibly dishonest? Since you're no longer even pretending that there's anything hypothetical about it and are just restating exactly the same nonsensical claims all over again, it would be a bit silly to pretend that you were being honest to start with.

Your ignorance is showing.

 

[Correa Neto]

Want the aliens to come back? Those some believe genetically engineered humans? What about broadcasting something like this:

"Harvest time! 6 billion tender tasty (mostly) hairless apes are ready to be served! You seeded, now its time to collect and eat all you can!"

Hey, its according to UFO/alien lore, isn't it?

Now, regarding interbreeding, frankly, the odds of an alien finding a human sexually attractive, manage to shagg and interbreed with him/her (and vice versa) are very, very, very low (except in Star Trek). Do you find petunias sexually attractive? Could you have sex and interbreed with a petunia?

 

[King of the Americas]

Oh, I am playing. I'm just not playing your game. So, are you going to admit that your OP was incredibly dishonest? Since you're no longer even pretending that there's anything hypothetical about it and are just restating exactly the same nonsensical claims all over again, it would be a bit silly to pretend that you were being honest to start with.

"Within this thread" there is no question or debate about their existence. That's another thread. THIS ONE pre-supposes that all the anecdotes are accurate, and that there is indeed something intelligent piloting U.F.O.'s.

Vote with your feet if you think this thread is a waste of time or if you don't wish to offer your opinion as to what it will/would take to get our heavenly onlookers to step down out from the mist and join us for some competitive gaming?

 

[King of the Americas]

Want the aliens to come back?

...

No.

I want the extra-terrestrials to descend.

There is nothing 'alien' about them to come back from. They have always been there.

 

[Correa Neto]

Your extraterrestrials are not alien?

Weird. Very weird.

Aniway, I stand to my interpretation of UFO lore. We are like cattle for them. Raised to serve as food and eventually cheap disposable workforce. Want them to descend?

Gather a buttload of people away from the cities at an open field at night inside a circle of lights, make them all look to the sky, meditate for 24 minutes and then start chanting:

"Dinner is served"

The rapture is nothing but feeding frenzy time.

Have you thought about what I asked regarding sex with aliens and petunias?

 

[Dave Rogers]

This is a 'how to get the E.T's to descend', if the anecdotes are all correct, thread.

I think generating a set of sporting rules allowing fair competition would be a good start. If we make it clear that they're welcome to participate in international sporting events, it might just be the olive branch that's needed. The next deep space probe should carry an updated compendium of IAAF Rules and Regulations, with an outline of means and methods to overcome and outlaw species discrimination. Anything less will simply give a message of rejection, and result in a continuation of the existing cultural boycott.

Dave

 

[Hellbound]

I want the extra-terrestrials to descend.

You know, really, if you're past puberty and your ET's haven't descended, you should really go see a doctor about that.

 

[bruto]

Start your own thread! This is a 'how to get the E.T's to descend', if the anecdotes are all correct, thread.

Don't forget your own rules, then. My response to the thread topic remains the same, however: if they haven't descended yet, it's either because they can't or won't. If the anecdotes are indeed all correct, and if our thread rules here do not allow us to screen them for even the slightest shred of credibility, consistency or sanity, nor to select them to taste as you yourself seem to do, then it's pretty clear that their interests don't coincide with ours anyway. I do not want to become an experimental subject or be mysteriously abducted and probed, and I don't think my neighbors would care to have their cows mutilated and their fields flattened and scorched either. If the anecdotes are all correct, we'd have far more motivation to shoot them down than to invite them in. If the anecdotes are all correct, we stand at least as good a chance of re-enacting Mars Attacks as Close Encounters of the Third Kind. No thank you. If you want to invite the aliens in for lunch, put the landing strip in your own back yard. I wish neither to supply, nor to be, the bacon for the hors d'oeuvres.

 

[dafydd]

Evolution must equal sexy. Natural selection dictates that successful genes only get passed along if that trait holder is the one mating.

So what is sexy about the shivering pink dude wearing the rotting animal carcass?

I think the bald came with the brains, and aided in our separation from the animals.

What you think has no bearing upon reality. I prefer facts.

 

[Hokulele]

Evolution must equal sexy. Natural selection dictates that successful genes only get passed along if that trait holder is the one mating.

So what is sexy about the shivering pink dude wearing the rotting animal carcass?

Why do you assume sexual attraction has to be present in order for mating to happen? If he can run faster than the females, it doesn't matter what he looks or smells like. And to avoid the subtle sexism of your premise, the opposite holds true as well.




(Crude, I know, but this whole argument is based on a ridiculous assumption.)

 

[King of the Americas]

Your extraterrestrials are not alien?

Weird. Very weird.

...

Well, 'I' think it is intellectually obscene to demand that U.F.O.'s be capable of traveling interstellar distances, for them to exist at all.

They could be the pre-existent ascended species who escaped the deluge.

My point is that their existence isn't 'required' to be alien at all.

 

[Giggywig]

Well, 'I' think it is intellectually obscene to demand that U.F.O.'s be capable of traveling interstellar distances, for them to exist at all.

They could be the pre-existent ascended species who escaped the deluge.

My point is that their existence isn't 'required' to be alien at all.

The deluge?

 

[I Ratant]

That's just another indication of the general cluelessness.

 

[Giggywig]

Did this "pre-existent ascended species" leave a record of their existence? No fossil record of their evolution? No record of their technology scattered about? And what exactly is an "ascended species?" The Ancients from Stargate SG-1?

 

[Correa Neto]

Well, 'I' think it is intellectually obscene to demand that U.F.O.'s be capable of traveling interstellar distances, for them to exist at all.

They could be the pre-existent ascended species who escaped the deluge.

My point is that their existence isn't 'required' to be alien at all.

Well, from my part, I think its "intellectually obscene" to write:

I want the extra-terrestrials to descend.

(my bolding)

Followed, on the next sentence, by:

There is nothing 'alien' about them to come back from. They have always been there.

Can you spot and admit the BIG error you made?

Do not forget also that I am free to cherry-pick the bits of UFO lore I want and assemble them as I will. Just as every single UFO buff does, with the difference that I do not actually believe in the space opera I built. So, my UFOs are not from this planet, their have not mastered FTL flight and I dare you to beat my concept based on UFO lore.

I think its also "intellectually obscene" to invoke a deluge, because there's absolutely no evidence such thing ever happened. There are lots of other things you wrote at this thread I consider "intellectually obscene", but I'm letting them pass since its objective is to play according to UFO lore.

So, how would you want to be served? Sushi-like, oyster-like, cooked, grilled or maybe perhaps barbecued? With salad? As a whole or in pieces?