The Ultimate Conspiracy

Big Al

Mage Questor
Big Al
Joined
Sep 26, 2006
Messages
1,125
I've just had an epiphany!

What are moonlanding, JFK, 9/11, Big Pharma, nuclear, EMF and all the other CTs good for? Wasting bandwidth!

Just think how many true believers are upgrading their computers and modems right now so they can pump their POS onto the Web with even greater efficiency! They need bigger hard drives to store all their huge, uncropped, fuzzy JPEGs and WMVs, and faster processors and more RAM so they can work on them in Photoshop.

Microsoft, Intel, AMD et al are in league to propagate all this nonsense just to boost sales. The woosters are their unwitting pawns in this global conspiracy!

This is obvious and undeniable if you have an open mind.
 
Lordy, you're right! I put together a video about my Ground Zero activities. My old computer is now exporting it to Quicktime, which is taking several days. I'm sitting here thinking, "Man, I really need a new computer," when the truth is that this conspiracy project is the only reason I've ever thought that. And I bought a sixth hard drive last week! The bastages!
 
Good, economy is important. Each disadvantage has an advantage. Why quicktime Gravy, better an avi , conversion will be faster.
 
Gravy said:
My old computer is now exporting it to Quicktime, which is taking several days.
Click to expand...

Oooh I know all too well how that feels :(

It's true though. Google Video would have so much more bandwidth without all these "Truth" movies on there. Could be used better for hosting movies of people getting mildly injured in hilarious ways. :)

And when I want to do some actual research on controlled demolitions, the first 10 pages of results wouldn't be mindless CT garbage.

If people want to find out what Thermite is, they won't be told by some CTist website that it is an explosive.

We can all dream...
 
Architect said:
Maybe all the thermite was hidden in the PCs and Routers?
Click to expand...

Heh, I can just see it now.

A day at the office
Joe: Morning Jeff, how was your weekend?

Jeff: Not bad I guess, got those reports finished

Joe: Excellent, make sure to email them to me ASAP.

2 minutes later

Jeff: Uuuum, Joe, is your computer booting up?

Joe: Hold on let me check

Jeff: Ok, just seems a bit odd

Joe: Hmmm, mine's not turning on either... Oh! There you go then, it appears the contents of my computer have been replaced with Thermite.

Jeff: Oh yeah I see, it appears mine have been too. That would also explain all that duct tape over on that wall over there. By the way do you hear a beeping noise?

Joe: Oh that'd be one of those shaped charges that are all over the place these days. Anyways start that mid-term report, oh and watch your feet on that random Det-Cord on your way out.

Random Man in Hard Hat Carrying Reel of Det-Cord: Mornin' Joe.

Joe: Hey Larry, how's it going?
Click to expand...
 
This theory also explains why they pulled off a hoax (9/11) that created endless tons of publicly-available footage of the event. Up to now, I was puzzled as to why the perps wanted to stage a job that created so damn much evidence. It was as if they were trying to get caught.

It also blew my mind that they fooled everyone in the world except a few angry white guys--but never mind.

In any case, this new hypothesis explains it all. I wonder why Bill Gates is giving so much of the money away to help fight disease in Africa. Probably trying to confuse us, don't you think?

P.S.: If we're all dead within 24 hours, we'll know we were right.
 
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My God, this goes deeper than I thought! All those little acronyms are just code for the Illuminati:

RAID: Radio Activated Initiation of Demolition
ISDN: Integrated Software Deletion Network
USB: Unspecified Bomb
RAM: Randomly Annihilate Machine
MSN: Master Software Nuking

My world is tumbling around me... gotta get more RAM and a bigger hard drive and a new motherboard...

No! Must resist... must resist...
 
PerryLogan said:
I wonder why Bill Gates is giving so much of the money away to help fight disease in Africa.
Click to expand...

DU-UH! How are they going to be able to afford their spanking new dual-core Windows Vista machines otherwise? This is just an initial investment, 'cause he's put planted software bombs in that will necessitate the rapid release of Vista SP1, which will need a minimum of 1TB DDR3 RAM and a 50Hz quin-core processor. Once the African victims are hooked, he'll detonate the bombs and they'll have no CHOICE but to upgrade!:jaw-dropp

BU-WAHAHAHAHAHA!
 
I knew there was a problem when my new hard disk capacity was measured in kilotonnes, not gigabytes....
 
Big Al said:
My God, this goes deeper than I thought! All those little acronyms are just code for the Illuminati:

RAID: Radio Activated Initiation of Demolition
ISDN: Integrated Software Deletion Network
USB: Unspecified Bomb
RAM: Randomly Annihilate Machine
MSN: Master Software Nuking

My world is tumbling around me... gotta get more RAM and a bigger hard drive and a new motherboard...

No! Must resist... must resist...
Click to expand...

PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
 
Did you know that Microsoft's (genuine) Mission Statement is "A Windows computer on every desktop"?

The guy wants to hold the whole world to ransom! All the Service Packs and patches don't actually improve your machine's security or performance: he's just retargetting!

"Hmmm... Burundi aren't buying many copies of XP this month. Well, THIS'll teach them..."
 
This clarifies why Microsoft software is always forcing you to click "OK" for no apparent reason. They're training us for docility and obedience. Diabolical.
 
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PerryLogan said:
This clarifies why Microsoft software is always forcing you to click "OK" for no apparent reason. They're training us for docility and obedience. Diabolical.
Click to expand...

You're getting the idea, Perry. It's short for "OK, Boss, anything you say!"

In the same way, "Cancel" actually means "Cancel my order for a new Ferrari - I've got computer hardware to buy!"
 
PerryLogan said:
This clarifies why Microsoft software is always forcing you to click "OK" for no apparent reason. They're training us for docility and obedience. Diabolical.
Click to expand...

"This is all admitted, it's out in the open... I have an article from the mainstream press that talks about connections between the NSA and Microsoft. This is all in the press, I'm not the one reporting it. It's admitted, out in the open."

:) Can anyone guess who I'm impersonating?
 
Any number of CT woosters, Doc, especially when their "evidence" is plainly taken out of context.

"NATIONAL SEMICONDUCTOR (NS) TO MERGE WITH SOFTWARE GIANT?

Industry anaylists have for some time kept a keen ear to the ground regarding the rumoured discussions between Microsoft and NS. A
Microsoft company strategy of secrecy has prevailed... "
 
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