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Mediums - advice please?

I know you're all going to jump up and down now as I am asking the same questions over again, but I have just spoken to a friend who has just been to a "party" for a reading and the woman knew quite a lot of stuff. I have just informed my friend all about cold reading techniques and as she is a great believer she obviously didn't listen to a word, but there was one thing that even made me wonder. The lady told her nannan was there with a teddy that she had as a little girl and named the teddy (the name now escapes me!) - how could she have known this? This is the kind of stuff that stops me from being a true sceptic no matter how much I read.
Sorry if this is dull for you all :)
 
Unless you were present at the reading, you have no idea what is true here. Not to say your friend is lying, but they may have embellished the story. I was once a cold reader and upon videotaping my readings, I found that MOST people said I had said something specific like this when in fact I hadn't. People very much want to believe, and they very much want to make it sound credible to others.
 
Becky78 said:
...there was one thing that even made me wonder. The lady told her nannan was there with a teddy that she had as a little girl and named the teddy (the name now escapes me!) - how could she have known this? This is the kind of stuff that stops me from being a true sceptic no matter how much I read.
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Well if you weren't there to witness it it's hard to say just how much it really means, as has been mentioned. And maybe your frined remembers it as she wanted it to happen, not as it really did?

For instance, did the medium come out and say "I see your little teddy you had when you were little. His name is...Suki."

Or was it more like:

"I see that you had a favorite little stuffed animal when you were a little girl. It was...I'm seeing...a...tiger maybe...a bear?"

"Yes. It was a bear. I used to carry him around all the time!"

"Yes, you loved your little bear. His name was...R...P...S.."

"Yes! Little Suki!"

"Of course, your little Suki. You were in tears when you lost him that time."


And on like that. Your friend was probably so dazzled and taken in that she didn't remember the misses and fumbling around, and didn't even notice that she gave the medium the name. That's why an unedited video would be interesting to see. Of course geussing a bear would be an easy hit, since nearly every child has had a teddy at some point, and most of them went lost at some point.
 
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Right, guess I should say hello too. I'm late (as usual to almost any thread, but nevermind that) and I guess I could give you some newbie advice, since I'm very new here too.

Read a lot! I don't post much, but I read as much as I possibly can. People here are resourceful and more often than usual on forums post links to scientific articles to back up their comments. This is a great way to learn more about anything that might be fraud, woo-woo or just plain wrong.

One thing though: Take small steps in the beginning, since there is a LOT to take in. I tried reading every thread in every forum but that's impossible to keep up with, especially since most threads become very long very fast.

Also, don't hesitate to ask questions whenever something pops up that you are unfamiliar with. The forumites are always glad to help.

There, some newbie advice from the newbie. Welcome!
 
Warge said:
Right, guess I should say hello too. I'm late (as usual to almost any thread, but nevermind that) and I guess I could give you some newbie advice, since I'm very new here too.

Read a lot! I don't post much, but I read as much as I possibly can. People here are resourceful and more often than usual on forums post links to scientific articles to back up their comments. This is a great way to learn more about anything that might be fraud, woo-woo or just plain wrong.

One thing though: Take small steps in the beginning, since there is a LOT to take in. I tried reading every thread in every forum but that's impossible to keep up with, especially since most threads become very long very fast.

Also, don't hesitate to ask questions whenever something pops up that you are unfamiliar with. The forumites are always glad to help.

There, some newbie advice from the newbie. Welcome!
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Allow me to offer a very late, but very warm welcome Warge!
 
H3LL said:
Big Les' psychic powers seem to have found a site without the usual disclaimers.

The owner of that site is a criminal.

[...]

If anyone went to any psychic or medium that did not make it clear that what they were doing was for entertainment purposes only, they are a criminal.

.
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But isn't the "with intent to deceive" clause in the act the clincher? If these
nutbags really believe they can do this (and how could you prove otherwise
in court?) then no offence has been committed. Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer.
 
Becky,

You know how to use the Internet and read what a "cold" reading is. You also can read what a "warm" and "hot" reading is as well as what anyone on this site can caution you on.

You want something you haven't asked. Do you live near Connecticut?
 
I've heard the claim that a medium/psychic "told me things they couldn't possibly have known" before. And I think FramerDave called it right. Did the medium really come right out with the exact name? Or was there "fishing" going on, and the name was slowly worked out? Another explanation... If it was a "psychic party", is it possible someone else knew about the bear's name, and the info was leaked before?

I remember reading (probably linked from this forum) about a medium who did a reading for a woman, and the woman gave the "she couldn't possibly know" line. But when the transcript was checked, it turned out that all the (verifiable) details the medium gave was re-hashed info previously provided by the subject.

One word of warning... I find it's best not to be too confrontational, especially with friends. People that believe are firmly entrenched in their belief. Any doubts, skepticism or probing questions from you will likely be seen as an attack on their beliefs. In my opinion, this is what makes the "believers" truly closed-minded. Skeptics are actually open-minded. We would be happy to find out that mediums, ESP, dowsing, etc. were real. But the evidence doesn't support this world view.
 
John Edward is a classic cold reader. Google John Edward debunked and read the links.

It's true.

Uhg. Amy, you must be a parody sock.

:bigcat
 
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Like you all say I only have my friends word for this and she is not budging, she is firmly set in her beliefs. I guess that would have been me a few months ago, until I started questioning all this stuff. Actually after I had told her about cold reading and my previous experience with the other medium she actually said well we're going to have her back - why don't you come? Errm no I just said I don't believe!

She said a few things that made me laugh too - like how the medium could see her boys squabbling over an electrical item and my friend thought this was a really good hit - errm how many kids don't fight over dvd players, gaming machines, etc!

Warge - thanks for your words - it is such a lot to take in - I have been trying to read every thread. It's so hard to totally change your belief system - especially when you have so many people around you who believe. I have been telling my mum all this stuff and I thought I had explained everything and got her round to a skeptical way of thinking and last night she came out with - "well some of them are genuine!".

PS even I know John Edward is rubbish:D
 
Hi, Becky --

Everyone's covered the major bases. I just wanted to jump in and offer some more detail about "hot" reading. "Cold" reading is where you're fishing. "Hot" reading is where you've obtained information beforehand. For example, Peter Popoff, a famous televangelist, seemed to be getting very specific information about people in the audience...until James Randi demonstrated that he was receiving, via an earpiece, information from his wife, who'd been pumping the crowds. As I understand it, it's not uncommon for cons to have people circulate through the waiting audience (who, of course, are made to wait for a reason), asking things like "isn't this exciting? What are /you/ going to ask [insert con name here]?"

So, another possible answer to the Suki result is that either your friend had told the medium about Suki earlier and didn't remember it, or that a mutual friend had told the medium all about your friend and her bear.

That's why it's so important to get all of the details before accepting the anecdote. As the fine folk here have pointed out, memories are not always particularly reliable, and people tend to "count the hits and forget the misses".

Becky78 said:
PS even I know John Edward is rubbish:D
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I agree wholeheartedly (I detest the man for what he's doing to the memory of departed people -- he's evil)! And you've recognized one of our hit-and-run trolls, Amy Wilson. Good job! : )
 
Becky78 said:
...Actually after I had told her about cold reading and my previous experience with the other medium she actually said well we're going to have her back - why don't you come? Errm no I just said I don't believe!...
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Although it might be interesting to go in there with a tape recorder and make a transcript, hm?

Becky78 said:
She said a few things that made me laugh too - like how the medium could see her boys squabbling over an electrical item and my friend thought this was a really good hit - errm how many kids don't fight over dvd players, gaming machines, etc!
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Indeed. One has to ask oneself -- how come messages from the Other Side are so darn vague? It's like once you're dead, you can only spit out astrology predictions or something.
 
Thanks Jakal Girl - that's one of the big things that made me have doubts - things not being very accuarate and why if as in the case of my reading if my Grandma was there and I thought it was my dads mum all the way through the reading and it was actually my mum's mum did she not just say no it's Mary or something along those lines.

If you are talking to the dead why can't they tell you things that make you believe beyond a shadow of a doubt. Why don't they just say I'm Mary the grandmother on her mums side and I died on this date of this, etc etc

The medium did a tape for my friend so maybe I can listen to that and maybe I will go to the next reading and ask her to come here and take the challenge :)
 
No-one from spirit world ever mentions religion.Ever.Not God,heaven,Allah,angels,1,000 virgins nothing.

Jeez even Hell could get a mention occasionally surely!
 
No-one from spirit world ever mentions religion.Ever.Not God,heaven,Allah,angels,1,000 virgins nothing.
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no there is just one big happy family on "the other side"
 
I don't know if this helps Becky, but I read today that author Marian Keyes looked into mediumship with an open mind to help with research for a novel on the subject. She was far from impressed:

Your last book featured mediums. Did you research any? Were you convinced?

I met around ten in London, Dublin and New York, both one on one and in big audiences. I thought they were all complete swizzes, every single one of them. I went into it hopeful. I was prepared to give them a chance but they were such liars. I was only doing research but if you’d lost someone, you’d be in a terribly vulnerable position. I found some of them downright disgusting, onstage saying: ‘I’ve got a Maureen coming through; has anyone got a Maureen?’ It was so obvious it was fake.
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I read that book! One medium in the book kind of makes a hit, but another really famous one is total rubbish - of course it's all fiction :D
 
Becky78 said:
The medium did a tape for my friend so maybe I can listen to that and maybe I will go to the next reading and ask her to come here and take the challenge :)
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2nd point first, it's absolutely astounding, how many different reasons there are to not take the challenge. Let's see... Investigations and such cast "negative energy" over the attempt, ensuring that it won't work; the medium doesn't want or need the money, or doesn't want to soil their "talent," etc; the Challenge is a fraud; the money doesn't exist; and so on.

1st point: Where was the tape in the time period between the reading and when your friend physically took posession of it, and how long was that time period?
 
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