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Israel Recalls Ambassador to El Salvador

Cleon

King of the Pod People
Cleon
Joined
Aug 28, 2001
Messages
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For the record: This is not a statement against Israel or Israelis, nor a comment on the Israel-Palestine situation. I just find this really, really funny.

Linky.

JERUSALEM (AP) -- Israel has recalled its ambassador to El Salvador after he was found bound, drunk and nude, a spokeswoman said Monday.
The longtime diplomat, Tsuriel Raphael, has been removed from his post, and the Foreign Ministry has begun searching for a replacement, ministry spokeswoman Zehavit Ben-Hillel said.


Two weeks ago, El Salvador police found Raphael in the yard of his residence, tied up, gagged and drunk, Israeli media reported. He was wearing several sex toys at the time, the media said. After he was untied, Raphael told police he was the ambassador of Israel, the reports said.
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(Emphasis mine.)

But wait, there's more! Apparently this is only one of several incidents involving Israeli diplomats engaging in debauchery in recent years.

In 2000, Israel's ambassador to France died of cardiac arrest in a Paris hotel under circumstances the Foreign Ministry refused to publicize. Media reports said he was with a woman who was not his wife at the time.
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Well, hey, it's France.

I remember when Prime Minister Francois Mitterand died; his mistress was at his funeral, along with his wife.

Last year, Israel replaced its ambassador to Australia, Naftali Tamir, after he said Israel and Australia are "like sisters" because both are located in Asia and their peoples don't have the Asian characteristics of "yellow skin and slanted eyes."
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Apparently prerequisite #1 of becoming an Israeli diplomat is "Must have flunked at least three IQ tests."

In 2005, Israel canceled the appointment of a diplomat to Australia after it was discovered that he published pictures of nude Brazilian women on the Internet while on a mission in Brazil.
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Unfortunately, googling on this seems to turn up a lot of neo-Nazi web sites, but near as I can tell, this jackass may also have been involved in some sort of kiddie porn ring based out of Rio.

Maybe when the Israeli Foreign Ministry puts up a job listing for "diplomat," they should think about tweaking the "job requirements" section a bit. :boggled:
 
Cleon said:
Well, hey, it's France.

I remember when Prime Minister Francois Mitterand died; his mistress was at his funeral, along with his wife.
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Hehe, I can see him laughing his ass off in the afterlife: "Hee hee, I was king of a country and a trainload of hot mistresses. I got my money's worth!"
 
Hey, they're just taking things a step or two beyond their fellows in the upper echelons of the Israeli political establishment, such as Moshe Katsav, Yitzhak Mordechai and Bibi Netanyahu, among others. Oh, and a prominent general or two.

There must be something in the water here. Or perhaps the army, which would explain why this particular bug has yet to affect me. My wife and I are grateful.
 
He was wearing several sex toys at the time
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Who here remembers the movie "Top Secret" and the fist-o-matic?

"It took the doctors three hours to get the smile off his face."

First thing I thought of. :)
 
David Swidler said:
Hey, they're just taking things a step or two beyond their fellows in the upper echelons of the Israeli political establishment, such as Moshe Katsav, Yitzhak Mordechai and Bibi Netanyahu, among others. Oh, and a prominent general or two.

There must be something in the water here. Or perhaps the army, which would explain why this particular bug has yet to affect me. My wife and I are grateful.
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I think it must be the army. I remember when I was there for Young Judea's "Israel Discovery" program back in 93, those IDF soldiers were very happy to meet all those American teenage girls. Everyone I've talked to who's been on similar trips (including my sister, who did Birthright a couple years ago) has reported similar, uh, "interest" by IDF men.

This always struck me as odd, considering that every IDF female soldier I've ever met has been really, really hot. (Regrettably, the IDF women were not nearly as enthused about American teenage boys.)
 
Cleon said:
Linky.

(Emphasis mine.)

:boggled:
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One wonders: was it his wife who tied him up, and attached the toys to him, after he came home drunk from an embassy reception, smelling of whiskey and another woman, one time too many? Who called the cops, hmmm?

DR
 
If Bill Clinton can be seen as our first black president, then I feel Darth Rotor should be considered as El Salvador's first non-Jewish, non-Israeli, ambassador. Let's start a petition!:)
 
I liked the headline in the Norwegian Dagbladet.

ISRAEL RECALLS BONDAGE-AMBASSADOR.

I just wonder, now that the position is open, where can I apply to be the new bondage-ambassador? Sounds like a fun job with a lot of, hmm, new challenges.
 
When I traveled to a foreign country on business I was always concerned that I not do something that would embarrass the company that I represented.

I was concerned about not getting drunk at a dinner meeting or being tactless or in China where one could easily make money be trading on the black currency market I was concerned that it would embarrass my company if I was caught.

This article made me laugh about that. Never once did I think, OK, don't embarrass my company by not getting found naked and tied up with sex toys strapped to my body. Guess I dodged a bullet there.
 
On a only vaguely related subject, there is a documentary called Paper Dolls about Philipino transvestites living in Israel.

Has anybody seen it? I think I am going to netflix it.
 
steverino said:
If Bill Clinton can be seen as our first black president, then I feel Darth Rotor should be considered as El Salvador's first non-Jewish, non-Israeli, ambassador. Let's start a petition!:)
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If nominated I will not run, if elected I will not serve.

Uh, wait a minute, you say it is an appointed post?

Hmmmmmm.

If I tell the Missus

"It's an appointment, how can I refuse?"

do you think she'll work with me to brush up on my Spanish? Or, will she merely point to the door and say "Adios, amigo, hasta luego, muy mucho luego!"

Hey, wait another minute: can that Olmert fella appoint a salty, Sithy, 'Merican Old Fart to a job in El Salvador representing Israel? The way the onion peels back on that one, there's no way the paperwork would get submitted correctly. I'd end up as an illegal alien in El Salvador's airport upon arrival. I can see that turning into me being tostito, in short order, or more likely, deportado.

What are the odds that I'd get Pete Seger to sing a protest song for me as I was sent back to Texas in irons . . .

Dear Mr Olmert:

I politely decline, in advance, your kind gesture in appointing me your new Ambassador to El Salvador. I realize that you promised my wife you'd get me out of her hair, and that Steverino's inspired petition was too good to pass up, but the world isn't ready for this kind of paradigm destruction.

Heck, the world can hardly handle Stroh's beer!

DR
 
Darth Rotor said:
Dear Mr Olmert:

I politely decline, in advance, your kind gesture in appointing me your new Ambassador to El Salvador. I realize that you promised my wife you'd get me out of her hair, and that Steverino's inspired petition was too good to pass up, but the world isn't ready for this kind of paradigm destruction.

Heck, the world can hardly handle Stroh's beer!

DR
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Ok. Ok. We'll throw in the sex toys. ;)
 
Wait, why exactly was he recalled? Was he recalled for being kinky? How is that a problem in a diplomat that requires he be recalled?
 
ImaginalDisc said:
Wait, why exactly was he recalled? Was he recalled for being kinky? How is that a problem in a diplomat that requires he be recalled?
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Umm,

the Ambassador is the official representative of the government of his nation,
therefore if the Ambassador does something publicly embarassing, then the publicy government is embarassed and therefore has to make an official response of some sort (even if the original act was not actually illegal).
 
Crossbow said:
Umm,

the Ambassador is the official representative of the government of his nation,
therefore if the Ambassador does something publicly embarassing, then the publicy government is embarassed and therefore has to make an official response of some sort (even if the original act was not actually illegal).
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I don't follow. How is using sex toys a problem? Sex toy manufacturers sell an awful lot of toys. Obviously, a whole lot more people buy them than we'll admit. I'd be much more embarrassed about him passing out on the lawn than about his bedroom antics, which are no one else's business anyway.
 
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