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I need help (please read)

Cyborg771

New Blood
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Mar 31, 2009
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I'm sorry I couldn't think of a more descriptive title for this post but I have a real problem that can't really be summed up in one sentence. My girlfriend has recently been diagnosed with a very mild case of asthma. This wouldn't be a problem as you can imagine but her family is very anti-medication and she refuses to use anything to control it. She says that it's fine and it will go away but from my understanding asthma is chronic. I see her suffer from it but she never admits it. Even if she does manage to live with it I worry that something worse may happen and she may avoid the treatment she needs. I have tried to tell her that medicine isn't always bad but her family has drilled it into her. I can't really push the issue too hard either because she is incredibly trusting of her parents, even on claims that I have proved without a doubt to be false. I just want some advice to help her, I can't stand to see her suffer. Perhaps some sources that could help me talk to her about why medication isn't bad and why anti-med people believe the things they do. I've done some searching on my own to no avail. Please help.
 
This is anecdotal YMMV.
When I was young I suffered from severe asthma. I was on medication, tablets only.I don't recall the name. When I was 8 years old, the doctor told my mother to take me on an aeroplane ride.These were the days of unpressurised aircraft and we flew from Cape Town to Johannesburg in a Vickers Viscount turboprop. Since that flight, I have never had another attack. Why, I don't know but I recall the doctor saying that the lower air pressure would open up the alveoli or some thing to that effect.
 
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Cyborg771 said:
I can't really push the issue too hard either because she is incredibly trusting of her parents, even on claims that I have proved without a doubt to be false.
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This should be a clue, you have 2 choices here, gentle nudging or brute force, which is almost sure to drive her away. I am sorry that I have no actual information, I am not a MD. Good Luck!
 
Cyborg771 said:
My girlfriend has recently been diagnosed with a very mild case of asthma. This wouldn't be a problem as you can imagine but her family is very anti-medication and she refuses to use anything to control it. I have tried to tell her that medicine isn't always bad but her family has drilled it into her.
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Well, to be fair, there is a downside to most any medication. It's not about "good" versus "bad"; it's about a tradeoff.

As long as her asthma is "very mild", it probably isn't a problem. After all, "suffering" is pretty subjective, and a strong argument could be made for the notion that the person in the best position to accurately measure that is the actual subject.

The problem arises when she begins to experience acute attacks. If that happens, I predict that her anti-med stance will go out the window immediately. You'd be amazed how quickly and how significantly your priorities can change when you suddenly find yourself unable to meet your body's first need.

Perhaps she can be persuaded to obtain the rescue meds she'll need in order to deal with an acute episode. "You don't have to actually use the stuff; what can it hurt just to have it on hand?" is how I'd pitch it. Believe me, in the throes of a severe attack, it is unlikely that she will need much persuasion from you or anyone else.
 
I think Dynamic has the right idea.

Tell her she doesn't even ever have to use the emergency meds unless she's actually about to die but that it's for you to ease your anxiety and "just in case" of an emergency. Ask her as a favor for you, not as like you're trying to browbeat her into actually taking it. You could offer to pay for it too.
 
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Does she drink coffee? I have been told by 3 asthma suffers that coffee can help. Not medicine in the traditional way, but still a powerful drug.
 
Thanks for all the advice people, I think I'll do what Dynamic suggested and ask her about getting emergency meds. She hasn't had an attack yet but she can't run or exercise properly like she used to. My bigger problem however is trying to steer her away from the anti-med thing in general. I worry that if something really bad happens she may avoid the proper treatment. I get the impression, though I've never actually asked, that her mother is a big proponent of CAM which scares me immensely. It always bugged me but now I feel like it has an actual impact on me more than it ever did before.
 
I second the question by FLS.

Who diagnosed her? Surely that same person would be considered trustworthy.

In what way is the family anti-medication?
Anti-any treatment at all?
What about after accident, serious illness?
Is it religious-based?

Are there any sources other than her parents she considers trustworthy?
 
Is the mom using any crazy diffusers or anything on a regular basis that could be aggravating her daughter's airways? Do they have pets?

I had this dayhome lady that refused to acknowledge that my daughter's allergies acted up at her place even though she had 3 cats and other weird stuff she used that she figured was good for the kids. Instead of telling me what was going on, she started using a diffuser to get scented oils (essential oils they were called) into the air, which really caused even more problems for my daughter. She started getting puffy eyes and a chronic cough. My daughter started getting chronic diarrhea after we dropped her off, and that is when the dayhome lady finally phoned us, to accuse us of not telling her that my daughter was sick. I took my daughter to the doctor (since she didn't have diarhhea before we dropped her off), and he said the diarrhea was caused by all the junk in the lady's home (cats, oils), not ours. The dayhome lady tried saying that we should stop giving our daughter milk at one year of age, and to start giving her protein powder instead. The doctor told us to pull our daughter out of the dayhome, and gave us a note to get our daughter transferred to a different dayhome. He said protien powder would cause too much of a burden to our daughter's kidneys.

Once we pulled my daughter all her symptoms stopped. She stopped getting diarrhea, she stopped getting puffy eyes, she stopped coughing. These altie lovers NEVER see that their idiocy causes most of the problems in their homes. It had to be the milk we were feeding my daughter. It was OUR fault that she had diarrhea. Well, my daughter is 7 now, and still drinks milk. We have since noted that she gets diarrhea when she is around cats for several hours. Her digestive tract gets irritated first, then her skin, eyes, etc. Weird, but true. The doctor confirmed this. Inflammation is a crazy thing with allergies. It affects many parts of the body.

The doctor said my daughter would have developed asthma if we hadn't pulled her from the dayhome.

Can your friend get legitimate allergy testing to see if there is something she can avoid? It just involves putting some allergens under the skin to see if a bump forms. I came up severely allergic to cats, somewhat allergic to dust, milk, eggs and dogs, but not allergic to chocolate (yay!), not allergic to grass, etc. I had a couple of environmental allergies, and a couple of food allergies. Avoiding the allergens did improve my breathing and skin. I no longer have eczema or huge build ups of phlegm.

Just wouldn't hurt to check what else might be aggravating the asthma in her own home.
 
Just out of curiosity, did that happen immediately following a discussion on the merits of asthma medications?
 
Obviously from Cyborg's post it is too late. But a natural remedy used to ease bad attacks back in the day was Eucalyptus oil in very hot water and breath the vapors. This was prescribed by a doctor so not an old wives tale.
 
A friend of mine with asthma swears by brandy (or glühwein).
 
I'm sorry for your loss, Cyborg771. Welcome to the forum though.

I was going to say, don't worry about it. If a person can't breathe, it's not the kind of illness one ignores like chest pain in heart disease or addiction in an alcoholic. She'll likely get help when it bothers her enough. And I'm not aware that early treatment is particularly important with asthma. Though I defer that opinion to others more current in family medicine than I am.
 
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I'm with skeptigirl on this- If you've ever had an attack, you WILL seek help. If only to quiet the gurgling noise in your chest. Mine started at age 51. Stopped when I went gluten-free three years later.
 
One other suggestion for you. Take a read of other threads in this forum. You might want to hang around. This forum could use more people like yourself.

Welcome to the forum.
 
Aw. Sorry to hear the bad news. I'm not sure how old you guys are, but it's never nice to get dumped. Any girl would be lucky to have you though, you were very concerned about her. Welcome to the forums, please stay and get to know folks here. They are very supportive.
 
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