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Application Proposal - Mental Telepathy

Miss Anthrope said:
I predict that if he does come back, he's going to tell one heckofa whopper.
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The best aspect of Dargo's response to WA Skeptics is the "...might challenge again in the future..." part.
Assuming he meant it serious, the unintentional comedy is off the charts. :)

You can't make this stuff up.
 
Well, I just read this whole thing from beginning to end. Shame nothing came of it and I applaud the incredible patience you've all shown.

Thanks for the laughs, gang. I love this forum.
 
FarmallMTA said:
You or your friend goes to work for the USDA. You gain access to the top secret Orange Crop report hidden away deep in the bowels of government until it's released.

But since you've seen it, you can telepathically communicate the results to your friend. Who goes long or short on Orange Juice contracts, say about 50,000 contracts worth. Which is enough OJ for your breakfast for about a zillion years, hell, OJ won't just be for your breakfasts any more. But I digress.

For example, the top-secret report says the crop sucks. You communicate "sucks" to your friend. Friend goes long on OJ. OJ goes up when the "sucks" news is released on schedule to the rest of the non-telepathic traders and speculators. Friend cashes out when OJ futures have gone up enough to get you each a new X-box, a pair of Shaqs (Shaquille O'Neils high priced Bballers) a whole wardrobe of loose fitting Sk8tr Boi duds, and a Maserati to show off to your friends whenever your mom lets you drive it in maybe about a billion years from now.

A true psychic NEVER wastes his time entering a totally p*ssy verification process to prove he's psychic. He goes deep OJ. Hardcore, all-out OJ. Rock it, baby, and flash the resulting bling our way. You may gloat when it comes all down!
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Dude, screw that noize! We all know how it ends: Eddie Murphy and Dan Akroyd get Denholm Elliott and Jamie Lee Curtis to dress as a priest and sexy Swedish/German chick, respectively. They find out what train your henchman is riding, not only stealing his briefcase, but also setting him up to be butt[rule 8]'d by a gorilla.

Then they switch the results of the crop reports. They know to go long, while you go short. They end up with all of your money, and you end up sleeping on a dock in rags, and making cameo appearances in "Vampire in Brooklyn," or something like that.

No way, count me out!
 
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