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...and we wonder why we have lawyer jokes?

Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

Cleopatra said:
If this post was about IT people we would have a revolution in this forum.
Hey Cleo,

I like attorneys, I really do. There are just too many stories of Attorneys getting rich filling idiotic lawsuits. Yeah, these are the extreme exceptions and most idiotic lawsuits never see the light of day but my god some of these are infuriating.

Stupid Lawsuit Collection.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ...and we wonder why we have lawyer jokes?

Keeping your mouth shut when arrested....

Kerberos said:
4) unless you lawyer tells you otherwise.

Still I suspect that people who chose to remain silent are more often guilty than those who do not, but it is hardly as conclusive as Lamme seems to think.

Yes! No! Keep your mouth shut. Especially if you are innocent! Police are for the most part morons. If you say something, they will have a tendency to write it down. They do not have a tendency to write things down right away and not always correctly when they do so. Can you imagine what the consequences might be if a cop claims you said "3pm" when you really said "4pm?" Maybe nothing. Maybe the chair.

I don't think a good lawyer will tell you otherwise, either. If you have to get something off your chest, make a written statement.

I had to learn the hard way.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ...and we wonder why we have lawyer jokes?

Cleopatra said:
Yes I am. I have never asked anybody to sell his house in order to pay my fees. Of course you will have to take my word for that but this is not an uncommon practice among litigatators in this country.
I've never seen it happen. However, funny thing about a free society, that people are free to charge what they wish and others are free to find a cheaper deal. If someone's only asset is a house, and they want me to spend a whole bunch of time and expenses defending them, well, they are selling the house if they want to purchase my services. If that is too much or they can't find someone cheaper, then they can apply for a public defender or do it themselves.

I haven't asked anyone to do this, but I sure would in many contexts suggest it. They are free to decline and look elsewhere. This sort of thing is how one manages to pay off the student loans and feed the dog...



To be honest I became a criminoligist because I have said many times, murderers home some dignity that divorcing people lack.
May be a language barrier thing. While there may be one poster here that would like to blur the distinction, there is a pretty large difference here between a criminoligist and a lawyer... the former is the study of crime and such, the latter is the person that studies the law and represents people in court...

However, I went into criminal law for similar reasons.





I agree with your observations but I have seen people selling everything they have to save their sculp. The general rule though even in Greece is that murder cases bring a lot of fame but less money.
We don't have a socialist lawyer system here. People that can't afford a lawyer can ask for one appointed by the court, but if the defendant wants someone else they have to wonder into the free market and pay for one. Some people see a good lawyer as being important enough to liquidate assets for...

Blaming the lawyers for the lack of government subsidy seems quite strange to me. If they don't charge, they can't keep the light bills on and how are they going to prepare for trial in the dark?
 
Re: Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

RandFan said:
Hey Cleo,

I like attorneys, I really do. There are just too many stories of Attorneys getting rich filling idiotic lawsuits. Yeah, these are the extreme exceptions and most idiotic lawsuits never see the light of day but my god some of these are infuriating.

Stupid Lawsuit Collection.

Just curious... did any of these set off any BS detectors?

I can't be too specific, as these episiodes are not exactly documented in a way where the claims can be examined. However, it seems pretty clear that these accounts are hardly aimed at being anywhere near objective, by focusing on the defense's factual claims and glossing over the fact that a jury did in fact find against that and so on. Sort of like the infamous "McDonalds coffee case" where a woman receiving burns requiring surgery to repair when McDonalds had been repeatedly warned about the danger is passed off as a woman getting a bunch of money for spilling coffee on herself.

Lack of specific documentation is a red flag. Similar items have been exposed as if not completely fabricated, then at least wildly tortured. Hard to tell if that is the case when there is no documentation...
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

LegalPenguin said:
I can't be too specific, as these episiodes are not exactly documented in a way where the claims can be examined. However, it seems pretty clear that these accounts are hardly aimed at being anywhere near objective, by focusing on the defense's factual claims and glossing over the fact that a jury did in fact find against that and so on. Sort of like the infamous "McDonalds coffee case" where a woman receiving burns requiring surgery to repair when McDonalds had been repeatedly warned about the danger is passed off as a woman getting a bunch of money for spilling coffee on herself.
I saw that woman's attorney on a talk show. He explained the case quite well. I DON'T think she should have recieved millions. Their coffee is STILL hot as it damn well should be because that is how most of us who drink coffee like it. I have always known that it is really hot. I get the fact that driving with a container of hot liquid is a RISK! She accepted the risk when she purchased the coffee. I wouldn't have minded so much her medical bills paid but why does she have to win the lottery. And guess what, the coffee is STILL hot. It's just now dumb people are warned that coffee is hot.

And people are warned:
  • 7 Up: Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.
  • Energizer AAA 4 Pack: If swallowed, promptly see doctor.
  • Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
  • White-Westinghouse 1600 Blow Dryer Keep away from water
  • Rowenta Iron: Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.
  • McDonald's Coffee: Warning - Contents may be hot.
Do you really think companies like to throw away money coming up with stupid warnings like, "avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows"? You can be sure that every warning is backed up by litigation and some moron who hit the lottery because Darwin's law has been replaced by Tort.

"Warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," said Robert B. Dorigo Jones, M-LAW president. "Plaintiff's lawyers who file the lawsuits that prompt these warnings argue they are making us safer, but the warnings have become so long that few of us read them anymore-- even the ones we should read."
Please check out M-LAW

Oh, and yes, it is appropriate for you to question the examples of loony law suits. I think M-Law is a better resource for stupid lawsuits.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

LegalPenguin said:
Just curious... did any of these set off any BS detectors?
No, not really. There are many such suits. However, this is a skeptics site and it is quite appropriate for you to question them. I have heard a number of urban legands of such law suits told on Paul Harvey and printed in the Readers Digest that turned out to be false. There is also a popular email that lists 6 outrageous lawsuits that snopes has debunked. See Stella Awards.

FWIW: A counter view of the McDonald's Coffee Case (in favor of the woman)

McDonald's Scalding Coffee Case
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

RandFan said:
I saw that woman's attorney on a talk show. He explained the case quite well. I DON'T think she should have recieved millions. Their coffee is STILL hot as it damn well should be because that is how most of us who drink coffee like it. I have always known that it is really hot. I get the fact that driving with a container of hot liquid is a RISK! She accepted the risk when she purchased the coffee. I wouldn't have minded so much her medical bills paid but why does she have to win the lottery. And guess what, the coffee is STILL hot. It's just now dumb people are warned that coffee is hot.

And people are warned:
  • 7 Up: Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.
  • Energizer AAA 4 Pack: If swallowed, promptly see doctor.
  • Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
  • White-Westinghouse 1600 Blow Dryer Keep away from water
  • Rowenta Iron: Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.
  • McDonald's Coffee: Warning - Contents may be hot.
  • The problem here is the use of a qualifier. Simply calling that coffee hot is quite misleading, as usually a coffee burn doesn't require a skin graft.
Do you really think companies like to throw away money coming up with stupid warnings like, "avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows"? You can be sure that every warning is backed up by litigation and some moron who hit the lottery because Darwin's law has been replaced by Tort.

Actually, I can't be sure. Many of these may very well be overkill in anticipation of possible tort claims, spurred on by the kind of careful research reflected in the link at question.



Please check out M-LAW

Oh, and yes, it is appropriate for you to question the examples of loony law suits. I think M-Law is a better resource for stupid lawsuits.


They do happen, although by a quick examination any problems with M-Law seem to be more in that "interpretation" of what happened than anything else... My problem is more with the global message in that:

1) If it is unsuccessful, what remedy is there besides cutting off access to the court? The loony lawsuit lost. The system worked. So it cost a few bucks.... price of a fair society where people can access the courts. Plus, there are laws on the books banning people from raising the same crap over and over, and a truely loony suit can be defended quite simply. Perhaps those with this problem need to assess the efficency of their response by keeping an eye on the lawyers they hire.

2) If it is successful, it is highly likely that the lawsuit was by definiton not frivilous seeing that .... it was successful, that whole jury thing where a group of people just like you and me agreed... Usually this is where the interpretation comes in, the facts discussed from the losing party's point of view. Almost anything can be portrayed in an absurd light.

3) The Biggie: I didn't look to closely, but does that M-Law site have a single example of the frivilous defense of a lawsuit, where a party obviously injured is forced ot threatened with lengthy litigation in order to force a smaller settlement?

I have my doubts.

However, this is also a problem, but it just doesn't catch the eye in the paper when some insurance company forces litigation in an obvious case. This kind of wasteful crap benefits insurance companies and big business so there is never an outcry over it among these "anti-lawsuit abuse" camps...

That was the shocking thing about defending against these types of personal injury cases... from my POV my side was guilty of far worse and systematic abuses than the plaintiff's side. There were a few real stinkers on the plaintiff side, to be sure, but the abuse on my side seemed quite shocking to the objective eye, but it was so ingrained into the practice that it was largely ignored.


Loony lawsuits are a problem, but having been under the hood the outcry seems a bit out of proportion to the reality...
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

RandFan said:
She accepted the risk when she purchased the coffee. I wouldn't have minded so much her medical bills paid but why does she have to win the lottery. And guess what, the coffee is STILL hot. It's just now dumb people are warned that coffee is hot.

She asked McDonald's for her medical expenses and they said they wouldn't pay. She turned to the courts for recourse and during discovery it came out that McDonald's had settled dozens of lawsuits previously so they had prior knowledge that coffee served at a temperature that causes third degree burns is dangerous enough that people using their product may end up requiring medical attention.

Serving coffe hot enough to require skin grafts if it spilled is clearly negligent. Is there any method other than multi-million dollar fines to get the attention of a billion-dollar business?
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

Ladewig said:
She asked McDonald's for her medical expenses and they said they wouldn't pay. She turned to the courts for recourse and during discovery it came out that McDonald's had settled dozens of lawsuits previously so they had prior knowledge that coffee served at a temperature that causes third degree burns is dangerous enough that people using their product may end up requiring medical attention.

Serving coffe hot enough to require skin grafts if it spilled is clearly negligent. Is there any method other than multi-million dollar fines to get the attention of a billion-dollar business?
I did actually look at the link I provided for a rebuttal and I do remember the attorney who made the same points. I have always assumed that hot coffee is HOT! Damn hot, hot enough to seriously burn me. Hot enough that if I spilled it on me that it could cause burns so bad I might need surgery. I'm willing to concede that perhaps that is just my view of hot coffee. BTW, that IS how I want my coffee.

I'll concede that a jury consisting of reasonable people could find that McDonalds was in fact negligent

One last thing, for those of you that don't know. Coffee served at McDonalds is hot. If you want to buy hot coffee from McDonalds and DRIVE a car I think you bear a little responsibilty. You have now been warned. Please don't file any more of these lawsuits, 'K?
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ...and we wonder why we have lawyer jokes?

Originally posted by NoZed Avenger
Search without cause and, even if you find conclusive evidence of guilt, the arrested person, though clearly guilty, goes free.
Why is this a good idea?

It cuts down the number of searches without cause, which is good. But, if such an illegal search is carried out and evidence is found, it also lets someone go free who is (now) known to be guilty, which is bad.

To help prevent illegal searches, why not simply establish a suitably severe punishment for anyone who carries out such a search, just as we punish those who commit any other crime? The other guy is still known to be guilty, even though the evidence of this guilt was obtained illegally, and he should also be punished.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

RandFan said:
Hot enough that if I spilled it on me that it could cause burns so bad I might need surgery. I'm willing to concede that perhaps that is just my view of hot coffee. BTW, that IS how I want my coffee.

It is only your view. I prefer coffee that I can put in my mouth without burning myself in the process. But I'm slightly interested in this. Do you really drink coffee that is 190 F hot? How do you prevent your tongue from burning?

I once managed to spill a full cup of coffee on my lap just after I removed it from the coffee machine. For the next 10 seconds it hurt like hell but in the end there was only slight reddening of the skin and no blisters or a need of surgery. Just like I expected.

If you want to buy hot coffee from McDonalds and DRIVE a car I think you bear a little responsibilty.

I agree. But could you tell how this connects with the McDonalds lawsuit case? She wasn't the driver, you know, and the spilling happened when the car was parked.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

LW said:
It is only your view.
I have conceded this.

I prefer coffee that I can put in my mouth without burning myself in the process. But I'm slightly interested in this. Do you really drink coffee that is 190 F hot? How do you prevent your tongue from burning?

I once managed to spill a full cup of coffee on my lap just after I removed it from the coffee machine. For the next 10 seconds it hurt like hell but in the end there was only slight reddening of the skin and no blisters or a need of surgery. Just like I expected.

I agree. But could you tell how this connects with the McDonalds lawsuit case? She wasn't the driver, you know, and the spilling happened when the car was parked.
Fair enough. Perhaps it doesn't.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

LW said:
It is only your view. I prefer coffee that I can put in my mouth without burning myself in the process.
Not to mention, when coffee is prepared/heated too hot, the flavor is destroyed. That may be why they serve it that way incidentally -- to obscure how bad it is.

Randfan, suppose as a matter of policy they did the following things in combination:

1) Prepare coffee at a temperature known to destroy coffee flavor, because the termperature obscures how swillish the coffee is (meaning, from culinary standpoint there is not a strong rationale for preparing/serving scalding hot coffee)

2) Serve the coffee at a temperature known to be capable of scalding people -- a temperature higher than norm* -- for the sole purpose of increasing profits.

3) Knowingly took the risk because it was outweighed by increased profit.

Should there be a legal mechanism to check this behavoir? If yes, what should it be?


* I don't know this to be true
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

varwoche said:
Not to mention, when coffee is prepared/heated too hot, the flavor is destroyed. That may be why they serve it that way incidentally -- to obscure how bad it is.

Randfan, suppose as a matter of policy they did the following things in combination:

1) Prepare coffee at a temperature known to destroy coffee flavor, because the termperature obscures how swillish the coffee is (meaning, from culinary standpoint there is not a strong rationale for preparing/serving scalding hot coffee)

2) Serve the coffee at a temperature known to be capable of scalding people -- a temperature higher than norm* -- for the sole purpose of increasing profits.

3) Knowingly took the risk because it was outweighed by increased profit.

Should there be a legal mechanism to check this behavoir? If yes, what should it be?


* I don't know this to be true
I hate having my feet held to the fire. :( But, as they say, what is good for the goose...

If high temperature kills the taste of coffee why would they expect increased profits?

Regardless of the answer I no longer wish to defend McDonalds. I conceded that reasonable people could find them negligent. I conceded LW's point. I will concede that your argument would suggest that there should be such a mechanism.

Is there anything more that I can do?
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ...and we wonder why we have lawyer jokes?

Since I am the last to realize the gossip or "gossip" of the forum I have just realized that I have to ask. Suddenly, is that you?? If yes, I am glad you are back because I missed you. You have no idea how much your posts have affected me on a personal level. If it's not Suddenly, then Legal Penguin, I have just paid you a compliment :D


LegalPenguin said:
I've never seen it happen. However, funny thing about a free society, that people are free to charge what they wish and others are free to find a cheaper deal. If someone's only asset is a house, and they want me to spend a whole bunch of time and expenses defending them, well, they are selling the house if they want to purchase my services. If that is too much or they can't find someone cheaper, then they can apply for a public defender or do it themselves.

You can choose to see things that way I tend to judge things in a "proportionate" way. I have this discussion with colleagues all the time. A fellow criminologists claims that he charges as much a brain surgeon because he saves lives as well. I don't know how much brain surgeries cost in USA but in Greece they cost astronomical amounts.

May be a language barrier thing. While there may be one poster here that would like to blur the distinction, there is a pretty large difference here between a criminoligist and a lawyer... the former is the study of crime and such, the latter is the person that studies the law and represents people in court...
In Greece criminologists are those who deal with crimes in court. In Greece we have 100.

Some people see a good lawyer as being important enough to liquidate assets for...
Mostly quilty ones. The innocent believe in Justice.

Blaming the lawyers for the lack of government subsidy seems quite strange to me. If they don't charge, they can't keep the light bills on and how are they going to prepare for trial in the dark?
Blaming lawyers generally speaking seems strange to me although they do share the responsibility for some of the malfunctions of the system.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

RandFan said:
If high temperature kills the taste of coffee why would they expect increased profits?
Realizing this is hypothetical on top of hypothetical: Because the higher temp allows them to buy cheaper coffee, and allows them to brew fresh pots less frequently.

Anecdotally and fwiw, large restaurant chains micromanage ingredients, procedures, etc. at an extraordinary level of detail.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ...and we wonder why we have lawyer jokes?

Cleopatra said:
Since I am the last to realize the gossip or "gossip" of the forum I have just realized that I have to ask. Suddenly, is that you?? If yes, I am glad you are back because I missed you. You have no idea how much your posts have affected me on a personal level. If it's not Suddenly, then Legal Penguin, I have just paid you a compliment :D

I'm Suddenly, more or less... At least it is the same person posting these things...

Thanks for the compliment...



You can choose to see things that way I tend to judge things in a "proportionate" way. I have this discussion with colleagues all the time. A fellow criminologists claims that he charges as much a brain surgeon because he saves lives as well. I don't know how much brain surgeries cost in USA but in Greece they cost astronomical amounts.
Same here.

I don't have the stomach for all that, which is why I wind up just defending people that can't afford a lawyer. Less money, but far less headaches and arguments over bills and so forth.

I don't have anything against it though, or those that charge what they can get. I have a bigger problem with those that undercharge to get extra business and then do a poor job because they can't afford to do the case properly, but that may be because I deal with the aftermath of that.



In Greece criminologists are those who deal with crimes in court. In Greece we have 100.
We have about twenty in this office, where we handle about half the cases in what is maybe the 200th largest city in the country....


Mostly quilty ones. The innocent believe in Justice.
Most of the work here isn't so much about guilt vs. innocence as much as it is figuring out just how guilty someone is, or whether the state violated their rights.

Past that, I'd have to add "naive" as a property of those that believe that they will get justice without a good lawyer... Especially if the evidence doesn't look so good.



Blaming lawyers generally speaking seems strange to me although they do share the responsibility for some of the malfunctions of the system.

There are a few particular ones I'd tend to blame, but more along the lines of the ones that use unethical means to attract clients, like guarantee a result or otherwise misrepresent the quality of representation. Those that charge excessive rates don't really bother me, but then again we have a lot more lawyers here. If our numbers were held to a low level as it appears is the case in Greece, I'd be more apt to say that a lawyer has a duty to charge a more reasonable rate.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ...and we wonder why we have lawyer jokes?

69dodge said:
Why is this a good idea?

It cuts down the number of searches without cause, which is good. But, if such an illegal search is carried out and evidence is found, it also lets someone go free who is (now) known to be guilty, which is bad.

To help prevent illegal searches, why not simply establish a suitably severe punishment for anyone who carries out such a search, just as we punish those who commit any other crime? The other guy is still known to be guilty, even though the evidence of this guilt was obtained illegally, and he should also be punished.


I don't think that it is a bad idea in concept, actually. The exclusionary rule was judicially created and there is nothing sacrosanct about it, in my opinion. The only question would be whether the punishments for violations would work and how to draw the line between good fatih and pretended good faith violations. That problem exists, however, even with the exclusionary rule.

How about self-incrimination, however? I am not talking about a mistake or the failure to Mirandize the defendant -- I mean what about a truly involuntary confession given under coercion? Say that the confession leads to the discovery of other evidence of guilt and proves to be true.

I am not sure that there is a good way to avoid the problem. There may be other situations, as well.

N/A
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

varwoche said:
Realizing this is hypothetical on top of hypothetical: Because the higher temp allows them to buy cheaper coffee, and allows them to brew fresh pots less frequently.
I'm sorry but you haven't shown this. You first state that the high heat kills the taste of coffee. You then say that the high heat allows for them to use cheaper coffee. How is making cheaper coffee worse, better?

Are you saying that in the case of bad tasting coffee high heat actualy makes it taste better? If so then I don't buy it. I'm willing to be shown otherwise though.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lawyers . . .

RandFan said:
I'm sorry but you haven't shown this. You first state that the high heat kills the taste of coffee. You then say that the high heat allows for them to use cheaper coffee. How is making cheaper coffee worse, better?

Are you saying that in the case of bad tasting coffee high heat actualy makes it taste better? If so then I don't buy it. I'm willing to be shown otherwise though.

The idea is that the high heat makes all coffee taste the same, so you can't tell that you are drinking stale swill, not that it makes it better or worse. It just makes it taste less. Extremes in temperature tend to do that.

Sort of like American beers, except we chill those...
 

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