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Was Jesus a vampire?

Riddick said:
@#1: that must be freethinking at its best
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Odd it’d be found on a site called “Vampire realm of darkness”.

Anyway, these freethinkers seem to agree for the most part, Jesus was not a blood sucker.

See:

Well he could have ben a vampire by surving off of energy. But i'm not saying that he is because my friend who was immortal before she was changed was around before he was and said that she never heard of him being a vampire or seeing him in the way of a vampire. She is very good @ tell wether you are a vampire or not.
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Well, the Bible says he can teleport, shoot fireballs, and use Horrid Form when he's low on HP...
 
Jesus could not have been a zombie, either, because zombies lack the requisite motor control to build a hotrod.
 
No, Jesus is just the host for all the rest of us blood suckers. Why else would he command us to drink his blood?
 
Iacchus said:
No, Jesus is just the host for all the rest of us blood suckers. Why else would he command us to drink his blood?
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To turn everyone into vampires. Didn't you ever watch Buffy?
 
No, no, no...

It's Jesus' followers that are the vampires. Not to mention cannibals as well.

Transubstantiative weirdos... hope Jesus didn't have AIDS or Kuru.
 
EdipisReks said:
he was a zombie, not a vampire.
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Actually sounds more plausible than jesus being the son of some god, now that IS a crazy thought! Jesus being a vampire or a zombie is quite sane in comparison.
 
You're all wrong. Bizarro Jesus is the vampire; Regular Jesus is an android. There's also an Imposter Jesus, who is another android, and a clone of that android who is Double Imposter Jesus. And there's also Girl Jesus, Conjoined Twin Jesuses, Alien Jesus, Ninja Jesus, and the mightiest of all, Malibu Dreamhouse Jesus.

Collect them all!

Coming out for Christmas: Rap Star Jesus, Gay Jesus, Gay Diva Jesus, and Mini-Jesus. Limited edition collectors' Pound Puppy Jesus, Care Bear Jesus, and Hello Kitty Jesus available Spring 2006.
 
Marquis de Carabas said:
Jesus could not have been a zombie, either, because zombies lack the requisite motor control to build a hotrod.
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ah, the mind is such a terrible thing to taste.
 
Gestahl said:
No, no, no...

It's Jesus' followers that are the vampires. Not to mention cannibals as well.

Transubstantiative weirdos... hope Jesus didn't have AIDS or Kuru.
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he had familial fatal insomnia. which is bad, since we're all his children, or some ◊◊◊◊.
 
TragicMonkey said:
You're all wrong. Bizarro Jesus is the vampire; Regular Jesus is an android. There's also an Imposter Jesus, who is another android, and a clone of that android who is Double Imposter Jesus. And there's also Girl Jesus, Conjoined Twin Jesuses, Alien Jesus, Ninja Jesus, and the mightiest of all, Malibu Dreamhouse Jesus.

Collect them all!

Coming out for Christmas: Rap Star Jesus, Gay Jesus, Gay Diva Jesus, and Mini-Jesus. Limited edition collectors' Pound Puppy Jesus, Care Bear Jesus, and Hello Kitty Jesus available Spring 2006.
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:D
 
Gestahl said:
No, no, no...

It's Jesus' followers that are the vampires. Not to mention cannibals as well.

Transubstantiative weirdos... hope Jesus didn't have AIDS or Kuru.
Click to expand...

They're just lucky transubstantiation doesn't actually work, because you can get ebola from drinking blood.
 
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