The "how wrong is my horoscope" thread

From horoscope.com: "Your ruling planet, Uranus, is at the heart of the planetary formation affecting everyone. You’ll find that you feel happier after a minor shopping spree at the mall. Take a friend though, because while cash is looking stable you’ll need someone who’ll stop you from going way over budget."

Although I doubt it needs to be said here, how can this apply to everyone under the sign of Aquarius? What if you live in a remote community with the nearest mall 100 miles away? You have a good drive to get there. The drive itself will make you happier.

"Shopping spree"? I'm a classic male-pattern shopper: I go into a store because I need something, not because I want to buy a trinket. There must be heaps of stuff you have not bought because it is too much bother to go to a shop. Well now is the time to do so.

"Cash is looking stable"? I have only $20 left out of my weekly budget, and it has to last until Friday -- fortunately, I've bought pretty much everything I need for the week. You had $20 at the beginning of the week and you will have $20 at the end of the week.

"Take a friend?" That implies I have some who wants to take time out of his day to accompany a thrifty like a Scotsman person on a pointless trip to a mall. Time to build friendships. And give you the money to spend.

There's also the opening phrase, "Your ruling planet, Uranus ..." Uhhh, I could comment on that, but I might break a rule :)

You thought your horoscope was wrong. Well it is not. It is 100% right. See my additions in red
 
other take this horoscope thing could have is "in which sign I´ve born acording with today´s horoscope", i.e., finding which one of them match you more every day. It will probably give fractionated results.
 

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