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The Easter Conspiracy

gumboot

lorcutus.tolere
gumboot
Joined
Jun 18, 2006
Messages
25,327
First it was the road cones...

Now I've uncovered another conspiracy perpetrated specifically to hinder me and mine. And this one really is the fault of the Jews...

It's Easter - Good Friday. I have no food in my house because I've been away working on a huge television commercial for the last two weeks.

Because it's Easter, nothing is open. There's no where for me to get any food.

Over 2000 years ago Jews intentionally had one Mr J Christ executed. This was the opening act in a devious and long-lasting plot to ensure I went hungry tonight.

-Gumboot
 
gumboot said:
First it was the road cones...

Now I've uncovered another conspiracy perpetrated specifically to hinder me and mine. And this one really is the fault of the Jews...

It's Easter - Good Friday. I have no food in my house because I've been away working on a huge television commercial for the last two weeks.

Because it's Easter, nothing is open. There's no where for me to get any food.

Over 2000 years ago Jews intentionally had one Mr J Christ executed. This was the opening act in a devious and long-lasting plot to ensure I went hungry tonight.

-Gumboot
Click to expand...

I was prepared for this, I had foreknowledge. Finnish intelligence sent me a newspaper that confirmed the easter holidays. Luckily I got the info in time to fill my fridge. But that was close, my friend.

Seriously, nothing is open there? We always have something open, I guess the only day nothing is open over here is 25th of December.
 
That happens to me and I always thank Ed for Chinese grocery stores. Sure, I'm not always certain what it is I'm buying, but I figure if they can eat it, so can I.
 
Surely there is a 24 hour gas station with a burrito or two waiting for you to nuke and enjoy ;)
 
New Zealand lags some what in rampant consumerism. It was really only in the last 20 years or so that 24 hour gas stations became popular in Sydney. And maybe 15 years since McDonalds began opening on Good Friday.

I was lucky where I grew up. We had a strong arab presence in the suburb, so while most shops closed. There was always Turkish or Lebonnese shop owners happy to open and take advantage of the lack of competition
 
What about the ancient Easter tradition of going to the pub? Doesn't lack of food in the house give you even more of a reason to participate in this important custom :D
 
What about the ancient Easter tradition of going to the pub? Doesn't lack of food in the house give you even more of a reason to participate in this important custom :biggrin:
Click to expand...

Good Christian pubs dont open on Easter. Besides Christ was a wine drinker anyway
 
gumboot said:
First it was the road cones...

Now I've uncovered another conspiracy perpetrated specifically to hinder me and mine. And this one really is the fault of the Jews...

It's Easter - Good Friday. I have no food in my house because I've been away working on a huge television commercial for the last two weeks.

Because it's Easter, nothing is open. There's no where for me to get any food.

Over 2000 years ago Jews intentionally had one Mr J Christ executed. This was the opening act in a devious and long-lasting plot to ensure I went hungry tonight.

-Gumboot
Click to expand...

Or maybe it's your fault for not having the foresight to stock up on groceries. DEBUNKED!
 
Gord_in_Toronto said:
You're a Roman?

:boggled:
Click to expand...

BRIAN:
Can I... join your group?
REG:
No. Piss off.
BRIAN:
I didn't want to sell this stuff. It's only a job. I hate the Romans as much as anybody.
PEOPLE'S FRONT OF JUDEA:
Shhhh. Shhhh. Shhh. Shh. Shhhh.
REG:
Schtum.
JUDITH:
Are you sure?
BRIAN:
Oh, dead sure. I hate the Romans already.
REG:
Listen. If you really wanted to join the P.F.J., you'd have to really hate the Romans.
BRIAN:
I do!
REG:
Oh, yeah? How much?
BRIAN:
A lot!
REG:
Right. You're in. Listen. The only people we hate more than the Romans are the ****ing Judean People's Front.
P.F.J.:
Yeah...
JUDITH:
Splitters.
P.F.J.:
Splitters...
FRANCIS:
And the Judean Popular People's Front.
P.F.J.:
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Splitters. Splitters...
LORETTA:
And the People's Front of Judea.
P.F.J.:
Yeah. Splitters. Splitters...
REG:
What?
LORETTA:
The People's Front of Judea. Splitters.
REG:
We're the People's Front of Judea!
LORETTA:
Oh. I thought we were the Popular Front.
REG:
People's Front! C-huh.
FRANCIS:
Whatever happened to the Popular Front, Reg?
REG:
He's over there.
P.F.J.:
Splitter!
 
anyway, talking about pubs opening over Easter - just remembered that my plan for Easter Sunday is to walk down to my local, see a couple of rock bands play, and get smashed on cider.

Isn't secularism great :D
 
MG1962 said:
New Zealand lags some what in rampant consumerism. It was really only in the last 20 years or so that 24 hour gas stations became popular in Sydney. And maybe 15 years since McDonalds began opening on Good Friday.
Click to expand...


Sydney is in Australia, not New Zealand...:mad:

:p

-Gumboot
 
MG1962 said:
Good Christian pubs dont open on Easter. Besides Christ was a wine drinker anyway
Click to expand...



What's so stupid is the majority of New Zealanders are Atheist... yet we aren't allowed to be open on a religious holiday. It's silly.

The only argument supporting it is "Well it's not so bad that they have a few days off, workers need the time off".

Which is stupid for a number of reasons:

1) Stores don't have to open. In fact they can close any day they feel like.
2) Easter can still be a statutory holiday without compulsive closing - employees do not have to work on statutory holidays, however if they do they get time and a half and a day in lieu.

Personally I think ANZAC Day morning is the only time opening of stores should be forbidden by law.

-Gumboot
 
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