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That Problem Where You Can’t Buy an Electrical Pulse-Delivering Patch for Your Taint Has Been Solved

shemp

a flimsy character...perfidious and despised
shemp
Joined
Nov 5, 2002
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The U.S., a wretched hive of scum and villainy.
And what does it do? Why, it zaps your taint! Isn't that what you've always wanted?

gizmodo.com

That Problem Where You Can't Buy an Electrical Pulse-Delivering Patch for Your Taint Has Been Solved

The MOR patch is FDA approved for safety, and it's available for purchase online. Oh, and it zaps your taint.
gizmodo.com gizmodo.com

If you’ve been an avid Gizmodo reader since at least the start of the 2020s, you will not need to be told that a guy named Jeff Bennett has been working on an adhesive patch for your taint—the fleshy spot between your anus and genitals—that doesn’t hurt to remove, and delivers mild electrical pulses. Victoria Song, who used to work here, has been on the case for six years now.

What’s new, however, is that bringing Bennett’s dream product to market is now a solved problem. Song, now at our competitor publication The Verge, discovered yesterday at CES that it’s called the MOR patch, it’s cleared for use by the FDA, and you can order it immediately for $299.00 and your gooch can be getting a good zapping in no time. You’re welcome. I assume you have no further questions.

If, for some strange reason, you’re not already up to speed on what this invention is all about, I’ve got you covered: the MOR patch is for sex, it may surprise you to learn. Hopefully all will become clear when you watch this video:
Click to expand...

If you really feel the need to watch the video (and I don't), you can go to the link.
 
"If you’ve been an avid Gizmodo reader since at least the start of the 2020s..."

Aye, there's the rub. I haven't been an avid reader of Gizmodo since at least the early 2000s, when they went full shill to pay the bills.

Also I question the sanity of anyone who became an avid reader in the 2020s. It's like saying "avid reader of the Sharper Image catalog".

So yeah, I'm not at all surprised at the provenance of this device.
 
theprestige said:
"If you’ve been an avid Gizmodo reader since at least the start of the 2020s..."

Aye, there's the rub. I haven't been an avid reader of Gizmodo since at least the early 2000s, when they went full shill to pay the bills.

Also I question the sanity of anyone who became an avid reader in the 2020s. It's like saying "avid reader of the Sharper Image catalog".

So yeah, I'm not at all surprised at the provenance of this device.
Click to expand...
Well, I won't be giving you one for Christmas!
 
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