Ted Haggard rises from the dead

BillyJoe

Penultimate Amazing
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And the miracle was performed by the cable network, TLC.

http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/01/06/e...pastor-ted-haggard-lands-tlc-reality-project/

The controversial Christian evangelical is getting his own reality project on the cable network. Ted Haggard: Scandalous will air as a one-hour special on the network.


You might remember him frightening the bejesus out of Richard Dawkins when Dawkins interviewed him for his video "The Root of All Evil". Shortly thereafter he was outed by his homosexual lover/prostitute.

From the above link:
Haggard was the head of the National Association of Evangelicals, leading 30 million followers across 45,000 churches, when he was caught having an affair with a male prostitute. He also admitted he had been using crystal meth.


Haggard:
Showing the world the new chapter of our lives will hopefully inspire others to find their own path to overcome their struggles and embrace the power of acceptance. The church is open to all, even those who have committed the darkest sins.


In my opinion, the only thing that Haggard needs to accept is that he is at least bisexual.
As well as a hypocrit and liar.
 
This could be an awesome reality show. It wont be, but it could be. "Teddy H: Scandalous and Fabulous!!!" would've been a better working title though.
 
Just look at him...

2007-09-12-ted.jpg


You can tell what a liar he is just by looking at that rat face.
 
Just look at him...

[qimg]http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2007-09-12-ted.jpg[/qimg]

You can tell what a liar he is just by looking at that rat face.

You know, it's too bad. Haggard had the opportunity to say he's gay, and he'd been wrong in his public persecution of homosexuals in the past. Now all there is is the wait for his next "indiscretion."
 
You know, it's too bad. Haggard had the opportunity to say he's gay, and he'd been wrong in his public persecution of homosexuals in the past. Now all there is is the wait for his next "indiscretion."

Why would he admit he's gay? He's not gay! He's heterosexual with complications. :rolleyes:

You see, it's all very complex. Most people think they understand this:

1) Heterosexual = sex with opposite sex
2) Homosexual = sex with same sex
3) Bisexual = sex with both sexes

It turns out to be much more complicated than that. You see Haggard's shrink has assured him that he doesn't fit into these conventional "boxes." It turns out you can be heterosexual with homosexual attachments; meaning you enjoy having sex with men, but you're not gay or bi like all the other men who enjoy having sex with men. Get it?

It works the other way too! For instance, I'm actually homosexual, but with heterosexual attachments. I was born homosexual, but for some reason I've been having sex with only women all this time. In fact, sex with men even seems revolting if I think about it. Yet my shrink assures me that I'm not heterosexual; I'm a full-blooded homosexual suffering from severe heterosexual attachments, the worst case he's ever seen.

You have to get an expert medical opinion to understand all of this.
 
Why would he admit he's gay? He's not gay! He's heterosexual with complications. :rolleyes:

You see, it's all very complex. Most people think they understand this:

1) Heterosexual = sex with opposite sex
2) Homosexual = sex with same sex
3) Bisexual = sex with both sexes

It turns out to be much more complicated than that. You see Haggard's shrink has assured him that he doesn't fit into these conventional "boxes." It turns out you can be heterosexual with homosexual attachments; meaning you enjoy having sex with men, but you're not gay or bi like all the other men who enjoy having sex with men. Get it?

It works the other way too! For instance, I'm actually homosexual, but with heterosexual attachments. I was born homosexual, but for some reason I've been having sex with only women all this time. In fact, sex with men even seems revolting if I think about it. Yet my shrink assures me that I'm not heterosexual; I'm a full-blooded homosexual suffering from severe heterosexual attachments, the worst case he's ever seen.

You have to get an expert medical opinion to understand all of this.

Do goats count?
 
You know, it's too bad. Haggard had the opportunity to say he's gay, and he'd been wrong in his public persecution of homosexuals in the past. Now all there is is the wait for his next "indiscretion."

That was the meaning of my comment about accepting his sexual orientation, except substitute the word, bisexual for homosexual.
 
adkinsjnr,

Sounds like BS to me.
I mean I started reading you post thinking it was a joke but by the end I realised you were actually serious.
Perhaps you have an internet source for information about this strange diagnosis?

edit: Actually you weren't serious after all. Goddamn :D
 
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After the way he treated Richard Dawkins, Haggard's public humiliation gave me the most exquisite experience of schadenfreude ever.


M.
 
And the miracle was performed by the cable network, TLC.

http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/01/06/e...pastor-ted-haggard-lands-tlc-reality-project/




You might remember him frightening the bejesus out of Richard Dawkins when Dawkins interviewed him for his video "The Root of All Evil". Shortly thereafter he was outed by his homosexual lover/prostitute.

From the above link:


Haggard:


In my opinion, the only thing that Haggard needs to accept is that he is at least bisexual.
As well as a hypocrit and liar.

You know i watched the documentary, honestly hoping to get a good laugh, but yeah, everything in my personal experience tells me he is playing on my team, and really torn up about it.

Not that he doesn't suck , but he sucks while in a situation that also sucks.
 
You know i watched the documentary, honestly hoping to get a good laugh, but yeah, everything in my personal experience tells me he is playing on my team, and really torn up about it.

Not that he doesn't suck , but he sucks while in a situation that also sucks.

The situation is totally self created though. In multiple levels.

He went into a profession that historically low tolerance for what it considers sexual 'deviance'.
Even then he didn't have to be the crusading anti gay, anti drug guy, considering his own leanings.
He could've been one that preached tolerance and accaeptance and tried to be a real force for change in the church.
He wanted the money and the megachurch though so he took the proven route to it. Hatred and bigotry.

Pretty sure his favorite book has a quote about reaping what you sow in it.
 
The situation is totally self created though. In multiple levels.

He went into a profession that historically low tolerance for what it considers sexual 'deviance'.
Even then he didn't have to be the crusading anti gay, anti drug guy, considering his own leanings.
He could've been one that preached tolerance and accaeptance and tried to be a real force for change in the church.
He wanted the money and the megachurch though so he took the proven route to it. Hatred and bigotry.

Pretty sure his favorite book has a quote about reaping what you sow in it.

Your spot on. The problem is i would have real sympathy for the man if he realized " hey i am doing evil, i should, if not give up the church, try and start one promoting acceptance." but he didn't. Even in the documentary, he comes crawling back and tries to get "cured."

It is all about the coin with this guy, and as much as i can feel for him, the most i can muster as far as sympathy is not actively thinking the guy should be screwed with. ( now if he gets famous again, this amount of sympathy is going to get thrown out. )
 

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