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Spanking

Iamme

Philosopher
I
Joined
Aug 5, 2003
Messages
6,215
What is YOUR position on this?

Does it do more good than harm, or more harm than good?

Have you ever heard where parents say they are spanking you out of love? Ya...right! Mine did it because they lost their temper. They never heard that they should take a deep breath and count to ten first. First my MOM would get after me. Then she' d say, "Wait till your DAD comes home!" :eek: ......and I'd get it again! Like, with a paddle so hard that they would break sometimes.

Did I take all this lightly? Did I tell myself that I deserved what I got, and that I wouldn't do it again? Did I learn my lesson? Well, yes and no combined. I maybe stopped doing the thing I got spanked for. But I also found that I took out my frustrations by vandalizing.:mad:

I never thought about it at the time, but looking back in retrospect, I think why I vandalized on occassion was a way of lashing back at authority. I probably always have been a control freak, and when you have parents and teachers that reduce your control, this can cause you to lash back, somehow. You are too young and weak to beat up your parents (Not that I really wanted to...but you couldn't even defend yourself in any way, and you couldn't even run away from the spanking else you'd get it WORSE, when they caught you).

My cousin used to get it from his dad...with a belt. He would scream bloody murder. I know. I was there when he got dragged from the kitchen table and whooped in the back room. He was always quite defiant, and I think the punishments made him possibly even worse. He pretty much hated his dad for the 12 years or so after high school. Then they seemed to mend their differences once my cousin had a kid.

Please share your experiences and philosophy.
 
Spanking solves nothing. I doubt there is a legitimate child behavior expert who believes that spanking does anything other than upset the child.

I was spanked a lot when I was a kid and it never stopped me from getting in trouble the next time.

Frink
 
I was spanked and I always behaved pretty well, both before and after. Which basically means I was spanked for pretty trivial reasons.

I don't spank my children. Spanking is a poor word. People should call it what it really is, beating.
 
Well, I for one enjoy giving a firm spanking to a naughty woman who...

What's that?

ooooooohhhh...spanking CHILDREN.

nope, safe sane and above all consensual is the rule
 
We called it gettin' a whoopin' when I was growing up. I got a few in my day and deserved each one.

I would have laughed at a 'time out' or a simple grounding. But I never laughed when my dad gave me a whoopin'.

I don't have kids, but I suppose if they act like a little ◊◊◊◊, a whoopin' is in order. May not deter the behavior any more than 'softer' punishments. May simply be what the offense in question calls for.
 
I had bad parents who would spank me for no reason other than to make themselves feel big by making me cry. 2-3 times a week, I'd be punished for some ridiculous reason - eating an apple instead of an orange, for example.
I didn't get what was really going on until I was 15, and when I finally understood how to fight back, they stopped. All I had to do was laugh. That was it. It made them SO angry. They'd be spanking the hell out of me and I would just laugh right into their faces.
The last spanking I ever had was the day after my 16th birthday. I said that my stepmom was cruel, and my dad reacted by taking the belt to me. I had bruises up and down my legs and for two weeks.
I remember when I was about 8, I told the stopmom how much I disliked spankings, and well, that just got me one, along with the message of, "I'll spank you till the day you move out of this house".
I really dislike parents hitting their kids, it just doesn't seem to be the right way to get the message accross.

As Bikwer eluded to before, the only time spanking is cool is when it's for fun and you want it.
 
I think there's spanking and there's cruelty to children. I know of a case where kids where physically beaten and abused by their guardians. The reasons given were extremely trivial (much like Moe's example). They'd come home from school and ask for something to eat, they'd be told they were not being polite enough and get a huge spanking. Did it make them behave any better? Yes - out of fear. Eventually they were removed from that situation but the guy is now having a lot of problems in his life with anger management and the girl is living in a very abusive relationship yet thinks that it's perfectly normal.

Me, I used to get smacked when I wasn't behaving, sometimes I deserved it sometimes I didn't but I turned out pretty well. I'm a parent and I smack my kid if he keeps misbehaving after being given a few warnings. Why? I know if I only resort to warnings he'll keep doing whatever he's doing and won't stop. I think most kids are like that. Unless there's a credible threat or danger connected to performing some actions, kids won't stop doing those things. I think the problem with anti-smacking crowd is the assumption that kids are logical adults and can be reasoned with. Kids are kids people.
 
I'm against spanking. I was never spanked growing up and I turned out just fine! :D
 
Not to bring anyone's skeptical qualifications into question, but it seems to me that the majority of posts in this topic (aside from the jokes) are little more than "I was(n't) spanked as a child, and I turned out fine."

Shouldn't we at least be wondering whether there's any experiemental evidence either way?

http://people.biola.edu/faculty/paulp/

edited to add the link
 
I've never been against giving the little houseapes a good thwack. A little negative reinforcement coupled with positive works wonders for molding young minds. I just think it needs to be used sparingly or it loses it's effectiveness. Just from personal experience (i.e. being the spankee), when you're spanked a lot you eventually realize that it doesn't hurt that bad and you lose the whole psychological effect of really angry parents (which I think is the real power spanking has).
Not to mention that there's a fine line between instilling discipline and beating the crap out of your kids which is all too easy to cross
 
Phil said:
We called it gettin' a whoopin' when I was growing up. I got a few in my day and deserved each one.
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You were a child, and DESERVED to get beaten by an adult?

So if you, as an adult responsible for your actions, do something bad do you still deserve to get beaten?
 
Ipecac said:


You were a child, and DESERVED to get beaten by an adult?

So if you, as an adult responsible for your actions, do something bad do you still deserve to get beaten?
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Well, I don't recall writing the word 'beaten' anywhere in my post. If you see that word in there somehwere, could you please point it out to me?

I was never beaten. There is a difference that some people seem to be unable to recognize between being beaten and getting spanked. One is abuse by an adult, a much bigger and stronger person, against a smaller often times helpless child. The other is a form of negative re-enforcement that I believe does and should actually 'hurt' the giver as much, if not more, than the receiver. If the giver derives some sort of pleasure or a power trip from it, then there are other issues at play.

The question for this thread is about spanking. And yes, there were instances when I was a child where I got a deserved spanking. But there comes a time, even when one is still considered a child, that spanking is not an applicable form of negative re-enforcement. I think at age 10 or 11, a child is past the age of spanking, and certainly being spanked as an adult (when not requested in the bedroom say) is a ridiculous notion.

Misconduct by an adult, no matter how you look at it, is not the same thing as misconduct as a child. If an adult is still exhibiting the same types of misbehavior as that for which a child would be spanked, he or she would no doubt be be institutionalized in a place for the underdeveloped. And misbehavior in the true adult sense has legal and/or criminal ramifications.

I'm unable to fathom how you could possibly consider equating the two.
 
Phil said:
Well, I don't recall writing the word 'beaten' anywhere in my post. If you see that word in there somehwere, could you please point it out to me?

I was never beaten. There is a difference that some people seem to be unable to recognize between being beaten and getting spanked. One is abuse by an adult, a much bigger and stronger person, against a smaller often times helpless child. The other is a form of negative re-enforcement that I believe does and should actually 'hurt' the giver as much, if not more, than the receiver. If the giver derives some sort of pleasure or a power trip from it, then there are other issues at play.

The question for this thread is about spanking. And yes, there were instances when I was a child where I got a deserved spanking. But there comes a time, even when one is still considered a child, that spanking is not an applicable form of negative re-enforcement. I think at age 10 or 11, a child is past the age of spanking, and certainly being spanked as an adult (when not requested in the bedroom say) is a ridiculous notion.
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You didn't say "spanking" you said "whoopin'". Certainly getting a "whoopin'" sounds more like being beaten. Perhaps you were just being theatrical.

Semantics aside, how does a "spanking" not fit your definition of " . . . abuse by an adult, a much bigger and stronger person, against a smaller often times helpless child. " Were you not HIT by said adult? I agree that not all spanking is necessarily beating, it's a matter of degree. I don't have a problem with the occasional quick swat to the behind. Is that what you're talking about? Or are you talking about repeated hits, perhaps with a belt or some other tool?


Misconduct by an adult, no matter how you look at it, is not the same thing as misconduct as a child. If an adult is still exhibiting the same types of misbehavior as that for which a child would be spanked, he or she would no doubt be be institutionalized in a place for the underdeveloped. And misbehavior in the true adult sense has legal and/or criminal ramifications.
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I think you missed my point here. I won't presume to guess for what reasons you were spanked, but many children are spanked for rudeness, thoughtlessness, boisterousness, or other things that certainly don't qualify as major misconduct. An adult would not face institutionalization, or legal or criminal ramifications for such behaviour.

So a child is spanked for such behaviour but an adult is not. Why does the child "deserve" such treatment when the adult does not?
 
Ipecac said:


You didn't say "spanking" you said "whoopin'". Certainly getting a "whoopin'" sounds more like being beaten. Perhaps you were just being theatrical.

Semantics aside, how does a "spanking" not fit your definition of " . . . abuse by an adult, a much bigger and stronger person, against a smaller often times helpless child. " Were you not HIT by said adult? I agree that not all spanking is necessarily beating, it's a matter of degree. I don't have a problem with the occasional quick swat to the behind. Is that what you're talking about? Or are you talking about repeated hits, perhaps with a belt or some other tool?

I think you missed my point here. I won't presume to guess for what reasons you were spanked, but many children are spanked for rudeness, thoughtlessness, boisterousness, or other things that certainly don't qualify as major misconduct. An adult would not face institutionalization, or legal or criminal ramifications for such behaviour.

So a child is spanked for such behaviour but an adult is not. Why does the child "deserve" such treatment when the adult does not?
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Yes. Whoopin' was just the how we, as kids in Texas, referred to a spanking. A unique feature of dialect, if you will. I didn't mean to imply that we were tied to a tree and whipped. Most whoopins were just as you described, a quick swat to the backside with an open hand, although occasionally we had to endure the belt, or in school, the dreaded paddle.

I apologize for the misunderstanding. I meant to suggest that being beaten is abuse, if one defines the word as being struck repeatedly solely for the purpose of inflicting pain or to satisfy some barbaric need for domination. I assumed you would be able to distinguish between that type of atrocity and an instance where a parent does indeed hit a child, but the purpose is not necessarily or solely to inflict pain. The clear representation of dissatisfaction by the adult, one to which the child should be emotionally tied, by imposing size and strength, whether pain is the result or not, with the intent to dissuade or show displeasure for a certain behavior, plays as much a psychological role in discipline as the physical discomfort, which often times in my youth was completely absent. I sometimes 'hurt' more knowing that my parents were upset with me than I did from the smack on the rear. But if you require, I will not assume any understanding from now on.

As to the reasons for being spanked and whether an adult exhibiting the same behavior should also be spanked, I think this is the proverbial apples and oranges comparison. What an adult deserves for misconduct is defined by social mores. There are no longer parents to define them. If the misconduct is rudeness, thoughtlessness, and boisterousness, maybe the person is ignored. Maybe he is laughed at, Maybe he is simply asked to shut up. It depends on what he is doing exactly. Remember we're talking about adults here, people no longer answerable an adult guardian, and the onus for action moves from one or two people (parents) to the rest of us. If the behavior crosses a certain line, then the offending individual must answer to the court where what they deserve for their actions is there determined. If they haven't crossed that line, they may deserve to be spanked, but there is no emotional impact in doing so, as is the case with parent and child, so the point of whether they deserve it becomes moot. Besides, if you go around hitting every rude, thoughtless, and boisterous person you see, you may soon be discovering what you deserve from a man with a black robe and a gavel.
 
ImpyTimpy said:
I think the problem with anti-smacking crowd is the assumption that kids are logical adults and can be reasoned with. Kids are kids people.
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Sometimes I wonder if my kids were so logical and mature because I treated them as logical and mature little people...
 
Well that's all nice and well put but it means diddly squat. :) You're simply providing anecdotal evidence (as others have, including me) for one specific case. My experience is quiet the opposite. But hey, we're just throwing anecdotes into the mix.

The only person to introduce anything worthwhile to this was Marquis de Carabas who provided a link to some evidence. After giving that a quick glance, there seems to be evidence that spanking is good. Perhaps we can focus on discussing the evidence now?

tamiO said:


Sometimes I wonder if my kids were so logical and mature because I treated them as logical and mature little people...
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