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Spanking children doesn't work.

Cavemonster said:
I hope you were being sarcastic about the highly paid, well trained thing, smilies are hard to read on a phone!
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Yes.

Jules Galen said:
No...you don't have kids.

My Advice: Go make babies and learn.
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I'm a bit old to start over again, so tell me, what did I miss the first time I had kids that I should learn if I were to go forth and make more babies?

I think you should be specific, for those who haven't had kids. It shouldn't be hard.
 
As for the "wait until you have kids" meme: There were numerous times before I had my first kid that I heard this (had first kid later in life). Well, I followed those pieces of advice I gave others, and it worked. Parenting takes a lot of effort, and most of the time that meme really was, "just wait until you have kids and see if you have the energy or if it's the easiest choice to make at the time."

I think one of the biggest keys to parenting is consistency and follow-through. It's actually better to let a kid get away with something by not saying anything at all then to half-ass deal with it, then let them get away with it. Dog training is like that. If you tell your dog to "come!" then you'd better be prepared to put down the pizza, get up off the couch and make her come. If you don't, then the next time it will be that much harder.
 
Complete side topic, but one of the worst phrases in the world is in my opinion.

"Just wait till your father gets home"

Ie. Think of your father as a punishment machine while I'm the nice one
 
cullennz said:
Complete side topic, but one of the worst phrases in the world is in my opinion.

"Just wait till your father gets home"

Ie. Think of your father as a punishment machine while I'm the nice one
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Unfortunately, I know a family where the mother couldn't control her temper enough to spank, so the father was "forced" to handle it for the safety of their children. Progressive for '50s and '60s, I guess.
 
It's very common for people to criticize certain spanking methods as being "the wrong way" or "excessive." How do the supporters know that twice a week is too much, or that hitting on the butt or legs works better than on the face?
 
HTTR said:
As for the "wait until you have kids" meme: There were numerous times before I had my first kid that I heard this (had first kid later in life). Well, I followed those pieces of advice I gave others, and it worked. Parenting takes a lot of effort, and most of the time that meme really was, "just wait until you have kids and see if you have the energy or if it's the easiest choice to make at the time."

I think one of the biggest keys to parenting is consistency and follow-through. It's actually better to let a kid get away with something by not saying anything at all then to half-ass deal with it, then let them get away with it. Dog training is like that. If you tell your dog to "come!" then you'd better be prepared to put down the pizza, get up off the couch and make her come. If you don't, then the next time it will be that much harder.
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Agreed. I didn't have the benefit of age when we had kids, I had the benefit of a wife who was a trained professional. She literally brought her training tools home from work and made me listen to books on tape that were intended to teach teachers about discipline. Yes, they were on tape and I drove a new car that had a tape player. So it has been some time ago.

cullennz said:
Complete side topic, but one of the worst phrases in the world is in my opinion.

"Just wait till your father gets home"

Ie. Think of your father as a punishment machine while I'm the nice one
Click to expand...

One thing I learned was not to hand out punishment in the heat of the moment. I'd likely end up punishing myself more than the child. So, if there was a serious issue to deal with or if I was on the verge of handing out a lifetime of punishment, I would defer until later. Not dump it on my spouse, but let time work to my favor.

This is serious, we will need to consider an appropriate consequence. Maybe you can think about what you would think is appropriate while your mother and I do the same.
 
I Am The Scum said:
It's very common for people to criticize certain spanking methods as being "the wrong way" or "excessive." How do the supporters know that twice a week is too much, or that hitting on the butt or legs works better than on the face?
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It worked for them. Data is the plural of anecdote, right?
 
Dr. Keith said:
Agreed. I didn't have the benefit of age when we had kids, I had the benefit of a wife who was a trained professional. She literally brought her training tools home from work and made me listen to books on tape that were intended to teach teachers about discipline. Yes, they were on tape and I drove a new car that had a tape player. So it has been some time ago.



One thing I learned was not to hand out punishment in the heat of the moment. I'd likely end up punishing myself more than the child. So, if there was a serious issue to deal with or if I was on the verge of handing out a lifetime of punishment, I would defer until later. Not dump it on my spouse, but let time work to my favor.

This is serious, we will need to consider an appropriate consequence. Maybe you can think about what you would think is appropriate while your mother and I do the same.
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Agree with tall that - it helps that I tend not to lose my temper.
 
I took my daughter to the playground at the school around the corner one time when she was 5? 6? 7? Not sure.

After a while, it was time to go, but she refused. Eventually, I calmly picked her up and put her into the car screaming and kicking.

Of course, this happened to be just when a police car went by. Which made a uturn, followed us home, pulled into the driveway behind me and turned on the lights.

The officer, of course talked to us individually to make sure I wasn't abducting her.
Maybe if I'd given her a smack on the butt....

My older daughter, on the other hand, when you would explain to her why she needed to obey would reply back with why she shouldn't. Usually, she actually had the better logic. This was when she was three.

My stepsons taught us that when we grounded them we were only punishing ourselves.

Kids are different. There are a lot of "wrong" ways for discipline, but no universally "right" way.
 
HTTR said:
I think one of the biggest keys to parenting is consistency and follow-through. It's actually better to let a kid get away with something by not saying anything at all then to half-ass deal with it, then let them get away with it. Dog training is like that. If you tell your dog to "come!" then you'd better be prepared to put down the pizza, get up off the couch and make her come. If you don't, then the next time it will be that much harder.
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Sounds like you believe in the Dog Whisperer visits South Park wisdom.

 
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