Moderated Should pedophiles never be forgiven.

You realize, don't you, that there are distinctions between the categories "pedophile", "child molester", and "sex offender under state laws"?
 
My basic question was this. If they serve their time and time goes by without the pedophile repeating the crime or in the case of the man in Criminal Minds actively helping the police catch other pedophiles should those people be forgiven?
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The only person who has the right to forgive is their victim. However, in the type of scenario you posit above, the Criminal Minds people should have shaken his hand.
 
Maybe they didn't wanna shake this hand for fear of where that hand had been before?












































What? Too soon?
 
pipelineaudio said:
Treating sex crimes in such a different matter than violent crimes just tells us that even the most rational skeptics still have sacred cows about sex magic
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What are you talking about, specifically?


I mean by that, I've heard of people forgiving the perpetrators of violent crimes, on occasion.

What sex magic, exactly, are people engaging in? As a pissed-off, slightly vengeful, and not at all forgiving survivor of sexual abuse, I'd really like to hear this.
 
LSSBB said:
Is the pedophile's victim only the person he or she directly acted upon, or should it also include those with care, affection and responsibility for the direct victim? Should collateral effects also necessitate a contribution to forgiveness?
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Only the person being acted upon - again, my opinion. Surely these other people suffer collaterally; but the person with the choice to forgive is the one who was molested.
 
Cainkane1 said:
My basic question was this. If they serve their time and time goes by without the pedophile repeating the crime or in the case of the man in Criminal Minds actively helping the police catch other pedophiles should those people be forgiven?

In the case of a pedophile who gets caught goes to prison get out and reoffends I say no never forgive them.

I never forgave my first cousins father for sexually molesting her from age younger than five until sometime when she was in highschool. No one knew he was doing this until he died and at age 50 my cousin told all.
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Still an individual thing.

Hypothetically speaking, if the reason I shun a person is because they molested a child, then whether or not they haven't molested another one in a long time is unlikely to make much difference to me, because they still molested a child. That's just me though.
 
slingblade said:
What are you talking about, specifically?


I mean by that, I've heard of people forgiving the perpetrators of violent crimes, on occasion.

What sex magic, exactly, are people engaging in? As a pissed-off, slightly vengeful, and not at all forgiving survivor of sexual abuse, I'd really like to hear this.
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I think there is one thing we can all agree on, once a public urinator always a public urinator.
 
Well, the pedophile didn't do anything to me, so I can't very well forgive them. It's really up to the victim.

That being said I hope they all suffer greatly and wish nothing but ill-will upon them. Forever.
 
Could you forgive the person who molested your child? I think that most people would be hard-pressed to do so, even if the offender made a full confession and expressed remorse. You may want to, or think you ought to, but it would be difficult.

The problem with "forgiving" serious sex crimes is that the compulsion that led to the offense originates in a very deep place that is often difficult for the perpertrator (and society) to access and control.
 
It's kind of weird when you think about it. I think a mass murderer is higher on the totem pole then a child molester. It seems to be one of the most unforgivable crimes. I do think this is kind of a double edged sword though. I'm willing to bet that this special status prevents some people from reporting incidence of child molestation to the authorities. Of course they deserve it. But I think some people don't want the public shame that comes with exposing the purpatrator....especially when it comes from within the family.
 
Staying on subject. Did anyone ever see that Oprah, where the little girl forgives and hugs the man that molested her? It was really weird to see. The crowd was disgusted.
 
JeanFromBNA said:
Could you forgive the person who molested your child?
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I can imagine that at first I would want to kill them. Perhaps if it did happen I couldn't. It's hard to now wuth absolute certainty but yes, I'd like to think so.

It was my learning about the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of South Africa and looking into restorative justice that moved me to believing in the importance of forgiveness for even heinous crimes. As a Christian I believed in forgiveness but I had a difficult time imagining I could do that.
 
Checkmite said:
Still an individual thing.

Hypothetically speaking, if the reason I shun a person is because they molested a child, then whether or not they haven't molested another one in a long time is unlikely to make much difference to me, because they still molested a child. That's just me though.
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This. Although I do think the team should have at least shaken his hand. It's not the same thing as forgiving him or absolving him from his crime, or becoming his pal or anything, it's just a polite "thanks for your help in accomplishing a good thing" kind of thing.
 
Not saying it isn't possible but I have yet to see much evidence of successful rehabilitation of sex offenders.
 
Caper said:
It's kind of weird when you think about it. I think a mass murderer is higher on the totem pole then a child molester. It seems to be one of the most unforgivable crimes. I do think this is kind of a double edged sword though. I'm willing to bet that this special status prevents some people from reporting incidence of child molestation to the authorities. Of course they deserve it. But I think some people don't want the public shame that comes with exposing the purpatrator....especially when it comes from within the family.
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Child molestation victims need to live with it for the rest of their lives.
 
I knew a guy who grew up on a remote farm in the outback. He did school over the 2 way radio (school of the air). When he got to high school age, he was sent to boarding school. On the first night there he tried to 'touch' one of the other children. Turns out that he had been abused by his father and brothers and thought that the behaviour was normal. It actually had to be explained to him that this behaviour was not acceptable

Would you forgive this person, if it had been your child that he touched? Most sex offenders have been victims themselves.

Having said that, my sisters partner followed a 13 year girl around a shopping centre and then put his arms around her and touched her legs. He will never set foot in my house and I will warn my son, when he is old enough never to go with him by himself anywhere (like our two nieces have been warned) even though I doubt he is into boys
 
Cainkane1 said:
My basic question was this. If they serve their time and time goes by without the pedophile repeating the crime or in the case of the man in Criminal Minds actively helping the police catch other pedophiles should those people be forgiven?
.
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Its not up to the public to forgive a paedophile, it's up to the victim
The victim will be suffering in one way or another because of the abuse for their entire lives, the lack of forgiveness should last that long too. Ruining a childs future happiness should always be unforgiveable, if I was a victim of the guy you mentioned who sued the state, I would sue him for his arrogance, thats if I could hold off long enough not to go over to his place and do him some serious damage

forget criminal minds please, its fiction and its not based on any reality that I am aware of. You can't use it as a measuring stick and it doesnt lead by example. I am actually a fan of the show too, but then I think Dexter is better, his solutions are always more final

This isn't a trivial matter Cainkane, people who have been abused tend to take it a lot more seriously than tv shows take anything.
;)
 
Robrob said:
Not saying it isn't possible but I have yet to see much evidence of successful rehabilitation of sex offenders.
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First of all, sex offender doesn't automatically mean child molester, rapist, etc. A teen guy can be a sex offender for having sex with his girlfriend who is a couple of years younger than him. I know of a sex offender who was doing construction, took a leak by a tree, and a woman saw him. He was arrested for indecent exposure and put on the sex registry. I saw a report of a high school guy who was dating a girl at his school for a while. The girl's mother got mad one day and reported him. He is now a sex offender and married to the so called victim.

Secondly, from what I understand, sex offenders have some of the lowest recidivism rates.
 
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mike81 said:
Secondly, from what I understand, sex offenders have some of the lowest recidivism rates.
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at around 10%, which means that 1 in 10 will commit another similar crime, thats only if youre counting sex offenses, if you include any crime it jumps to over 40%
thats not really reassuring though is it, the recidivism rate for murderers is lower.
incidentally the recidivism rate for pedophiles is around 50%,
perhaps that just means half of them got more elusive
:p
 
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