UPCHURCH, PAPA OF FUNKOSOPHY CAUGHT WITH ALLEGED PROSTITUTES IN MOTEL RAID
BY LINDSAY ROBERTSON
Fri, Nov 5, 2004 at 11:35:27 EST
Funky Town, Missouri - JREF Moderator Upchurch, Papa of Funkosophy was arrested in the wee hours of Saturday morning, after police raided a suspected brothel being run out of a Missouri motel.
A press conference was held outside the Funky Town County Jail yesterday, where Police Department Spokesperson Earthborn had this to say:
"Acting on a tip from an informant, the Funky Town Police Department executed a raid on room 203 of the Fairview Motel. As expected, we found several suspected prostitutes along with a bottle of prescription medication commonly taken for erectile dysfunction. Upchurch, Papa of Funkosophy was found in bed with two of the alleged prostitutes, wearing nothing but argyle socks. After a confrontation in which he resisted arrest, screaming "Do you know who I am? I'm the best JREF Moderator in the world!" officers exchanged his pink feathered handcuffs for new ones and escorted him to the Funky Town County Jail.
Papa of Funkosophy was booked for soliciting a prostitute and resisting arrest. His bond was set at $300, but he has yet to post bail. He is currently awaiting trial and has been placed in solitary confinement due to extreme personality conflicts with both prisoners and guards.
