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Rewrite the 10 commandments

1. Don't be a dick.
2. Give Piscivore fish.
3. Give Piscivore fish.
4. Give Piscivore fish.
5. Give Piscivore fish.
6. Give Piscivore fish.
7. Give Piscivore fish.
8. Give Piscivore fish.
9. Give Piscivore fish.
10. Give Piscivore fish.
 
Exodus 20 (21st Century King James Version)

Exodus 20
And God Satan spoke all these words, saying:

2"I am the LORD thy (God) god, who have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.


3"Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.

4"Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

5Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them; for I, the LORD thy God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate Me,

6and showing mercy unto thousands of them that love Me and keep My commandments.

7"Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh His name in vain.

8"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

9Six days shalt thou labor and do all thy work;

10but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD thy God. In it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates.

11For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

12"Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.


13"Thou shalt not kill.


14"Thou shalt not commit adultery.


15"Thou shalt not steal.


16"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.


17"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house; thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's."
 
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  1. Do what you want to do

Might not be enough to create a stable society, but who the hell wants any of that?
 
1. Stop doing that!
2. Never do that.
3. Never speak of that again.
4. Seriously, don't even think of it. Yuk.
5. And while you're not thinking of it, could you cover that up?
6. Well... yes, that's ok I suppose.
7. But not in front of the neighbours.
8. Nor in front of your parents.
9. Nor your grandparents.
10. Actually, just don't do that either.
 
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