religions

[six7s]

you'd have more luck if you sat on almost anything other than that bag-head

Fixed that for you

 

[Lothian]

you'd have more luck if you took that duck off of your head.

When our religion is formally recognised your behaviour will rightly be seen as an offence under the law. We know we do not have ducks on our head and your hateful suggestions that we do is discrimination.

No longer will I have to suffer cries of "Duckhead" as I walk down the street. I won't have to respond to childish questions about whether I am "Quackers." Swimming pools will no longer be able to ban me for trumped up 'bringing in an animal' charges.

Just you wait.

 

[fuelair]

When our religion is formally recognised your behaviour will rightly be seen as an offence under the law. We know we do not have ducks on our head and your hateful suggestions that we do is discrimination.

No longer will I have to suffer cries of "Duckhead" as I walk down the street. I won't have to respond to childish questions about whether I am "Quackers." Swimming pools will no longer be able to ban me for trumped up 'bringing in an animal' charges.

Just you wait.

And the fowl cries of "Hey buddy, get ducked !!" as you pass will vanish forever into the mists of time.........................

 

[six7s]

I was just wondering how easy is it to start a new religion??

Are you thinking of one, global brand? Or maybe the 'local franchise' approach?

Whatever, I imagine a great deal would hinge on your actual deity and its probably worthwhile spending quite a bit of time and effort on design

As far as marketing goes, zoomorphism seems to have widespread appeal and there are quite a few to choose from although I suspect that has to do with location - I'm not aware of any elephant worship in Scandanavia...

Cows has been done, obviously. Ditto lions, wolves, dogs and cats... which reminds me; please! don't be the cause of another problem like that caused by some obviously short-sighted Egyptians a while back; cats obviously have some sort of looooooong 'worship-culture' memory at work

Not sure about birds of prey... but the dove seems to have worked quite well, especially from a branding perspective; great logo potential etc

Of course, the old standby seems to be anthropomorphism... I guess it must be relatively easy to sell the idea of a divine being when it looks, talks, etc a bit like your target market

And, of course, marketing analysis is a doddle with the old rule-of-thumb: you can rest assured that you've created a god in your own image when it turns out that he/she/it hates the exact same people that you hate

Good luck

 

[Gazpacho]

I was just wondering how easy is it to start a new religion??

Without charisma, self-importance, and the ability to at least appear very compassionate, it's quite difficult.

For Scientology, it only took about 30 years.

Oh no it didn't.

 

[suomynonA]

For Scientology, it only took about 30 years.

I don't care what the IRS says, the Church of $cientology is a cult that sells their teachings purely for monetary gain and feels they need to attack critics instead of engage in debate with them.

If Anonymous has anything to say about it that tax status will be revoked as soon as possible. Next protest, Beware the Ides of March

 

[X]

I am currently looking for an individual who wishes to be a deity.

Qualifications should include:
Charisma, charm, good looks, plastic-surgery-face, ability to lie convincingly, ability to "work the crowd".

Duties will include:
Staying in a luxury penthouse apartment of a massive temple (in due time), coming out occasionally to give pre-scripted orations concerning religious truths, keeping the people wanting more, ability to lie conivncingly, becoming rich, staying away from the public except at approved church functions.

I, for my part, will remian nondescript and behind-the-scenes, setting up doctrines and truths to be read by the "deity" at the appropriate time. I will be completely anonymous to all but the deity-individual. Every church convert will believe that the deity created the religion, having been told nothing else.

Which allows me free to enjoy massive wealth and influence whilst avoiding the annoying limelight.
It also allows the selected deity-candidate to become rich, popular, and somewhat-influenctial. The candidate, I should mention, must be able to cope with severly restriced mobility and public access (i.e. you spend all your time in the penthouse unless there's an announcement of appearance to be made).



I think that should about do it.
Due to financial constraints, the beginnings will be humble, but I predict rapid growth after an intial "spreading" period.

Seriously, how hard can it be? Maybe I'll make the converts wear magical socks...

 

[six7s]

setting up doctrines and truths to be read by the "diety" at the appropriate time

A cult designed specifically for those with eating disorders? What a superb niche marketing idea!

 

[arthwollipot]

Spin, aided by integrity on par with a pit bull on a croquet lawn, can fill gaps if the message isn't quite 'really really good'

Only if you've got the personal charisma to pull it off. No amount of spin will help if it's delivered by someone with no charisma. Which is essentially what I said before.

 

[Furi]

Only if you've got the personal charisma to pull it off. No amount of spin will help if it's delivered by someone with no charisma. Which is essentially what I said before.

This is why the Anglican church is a dead duck*.

I would also offer something that allows your followers to feel smug, maybe via some random piece of cocktardary, (dietry rules, lifestyle choices, decorating hints) possibly making them feel that they are the only ones that know Teh Truth, and under threat and persecuted by all non-believers,

Marketing and charisma are very important, you may be on the start of a fantastic cult of personality but whatever you do remember, Don't go on one of the most popular chat shows in the country wearing a shell suit claiming to be the messiah it makes people point and laugh.

ETA *Head not included

 

[fuelair]

I don't care what the IRS says, the Church of $cientology is a cult that sells their teachings purely for monetary gain and feels they need to attack critics instead of engage in debate with them.

If Anonymous has anything to say about it that tax status will be revoked as soon as possible. Next protest, Beware the Ides of March

GO FOR IT !!!!!!!!!