Transcript, 9/10/01 NSA.
POTUS: As you can see, we plan to use our "LASER" fired from what I have decided to call our "DEATH STAR" to completely demolish two buildings in New York. Now, we will use the chaos that follows to seize the Middle-East's oil and make . . . . a billion dollars.
SECDEF: But won't people notice a death beam knocking down buildings?
POTUS: That is the beauty of this plan. The beam is completely invisible. We will simultaneously hijack two of our own planes and crash duplicates of them into the tower at precisely the same instant that the beam hits, causing people to believe that the massive collision and resulting, uncontrolled fires actually causes the buildings to collapse. We will blame the hijackers for the mess and use it as a pretext for our plans.
VPOTUS: Um. Wouldn't just hitting the buildings with the planes or missiles actually cause a huge amount of damage, even without this . . . er-
POTUS: "LASER"
VPOTUS: Yeah, sure. Even without this beam, wouldn't the collision and fire kill a lot of people?
POTUS: Well, yes.
VPOTUS: I mean, wouldn't that be enough for our purposes, even if the buildings don't actually fall down -- although they might.
POTUS: Well, yes.
SECDEF: So adding this laser thing doesn't actually do anything for us?
POTUS: . . .
SECDEF: And if it is essentially undetectable, wouldn't it just be easier to use it on our enemies?
POTUS: But it is shiny. Cheney, kill him.
[loud noise]
SECDEF: Gaaaaarrh.
[undetermined thump noise]
POTUS: Very good.
SECDEF: I'm not actually dead.
POTUS: . . .
SECDEF: He's only managed to wound me with bird shot.
POTUS: . . .
SECDEF: This is quite painful, but I should survive with prompt medical attention.
VPOTUS: Oh, who cares. Let's just do it so I can get more oil money in a mysterious fashion that we'll work out later.
POTUS: Very well. It is all very simple, gentlemen.
NATSECADV: Sure. All we do is find a number of men that can be easily blamed as foreign terrorists and buy them one way plane tickets for tomorrow morning, then we send out teams to make them disappear and leave suicide notes and video tapes from people cleverly disguised to mimic them. Our own men will then hijack 4 planes and divert them to Pennsylvania, where the passengers will be killed and disposed of by our unquestioning minions. Duplicate images of those planes will be created from missiles that will be fired by military jets, striking the twin towers just before we use our "LASER" to disintegrate the buildings. A third duplicate plane missile will be fired into the Pentagon, while we will stage the crash of the fourth plane in a field, scattering remains and personal affects of the passengers from one of the planes that we will take from them and transfer to the location with a team of men in time to plant them and leave before emergency help arrives. We will, by taking the passenger list of that plane and verifying that they actually made the flight, then use computer simulations of their voices that are capable of fooling their own family members to mimic calls to their loved ones, creating additional pathos. While we will choose men from Saudi Arabia as our patsies, we will nevertheless use them as a pretext for invading Iraq.
VPOTUS: . . .
POTUS: Well, sure. It sounds silly when you say it.
