Most appalling Bible verse

[shemp]

Ezekiel: 29:7-8

When they took hold of thee by thy hand, thou didst break, and rend all their shoulder: and when they leaned upon thee, thou brakest, and madest all their loins to be at a stand.

Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I will bring a sword upon thee, and cut off man and beast out of thee.

So God gets them all excited and aroused, then cuts off their weenies! What a pervert!

 

[Nucular]

What a pervert!

More Divine Perviness: God sends Gabriel to a young betrothed virgin in true "my mate fancies you" style, and persuades her to let Him have His way:

In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."
Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."
"How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?"
The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God."
"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.
- Luke 2:26-38

 

[DangerousBeliefs]

Genesis 19

30 Now Lot went up out of Zo'ar, and dwelt in the hills with his two daughters, for he was afraid to dwell in Zo'ar; so he dwelt in a cave with his two daughters. 31 And the first-born said to the younger, "Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of all the earth. 32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve offspring through our father." 33 So they made their father drink wine that night; and the first-born went in, and lay with her father; he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. 34 And on the next day, the first-born said to the younger, "Behold, I lay last night with my father; let us make him drink wine tonight also; then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve offspring through our father." 35 So they made their father drink wine that night also; and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. 36 Thus both the daughters of Lot were with child by their father. 37 The first-born bore a son, and called his name Moab; he is the father of the Moabites to this day. 38 The younger also bore a son, and called his name Ben-ammi; he is the father of the Ammonites to this day.


Do it in the family, baby! Yeah!

 

[Kimpatsu]

Do it in the family, baby! Yeah!

Incest: a game for all the family.

 

[zakur]

"But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? Hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?" (Isaiah 36:12)

"And I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh; and they shall be drunken with their own blood, as with sweet wine." (Isaiah 49:26)

"I will not feed you: that that dieth, let it die; and that that is to be cut off, let it be cut off; and let the rest eat every one the flesh of another." (Zechariah 1:9)

"Through the wrath of the LORD of hosts is the land darkened, and the people shall be as the fuel of the fire: no man shall spare his brother. And he shall snatch on the right hand, and be hungry; and he shall eat on the left hand, and they shall not be satisfied: they shall eat every man the flesh of his own arm." (Isaiah 9:19-20)

"And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man . . . Then said I, Ah, Lord God! behold, my soul hath not been polluted: for from my youth up even till now have I not eaten of that which dieth of itself, or is torn in pieces; neither came there abominable flesh into my mouth. Then he said unto me, Lo, I have given thee cow's dung for man's dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith." (Ezekiel 4:12-15)

"And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat." (Leviticus 26:29)

"And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters." (Deuteronomy 28:53)

"And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them." (Deuteronomy 28:57)

"And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend." (Jeremiah 19:9)

 

[Hamish]

Ok, a quick quiz:

You are entertaining two guests at your home. A crowd of men turn up at your door and demand to be allowed to have sex with your guests. Do you:

a) Ignore them and hope they go away.
b) Let them in.
c) Tell them not to be so wicked.
d) Tell them not to be so wicked, but offer your two virgin daughters for them to do with as they please

The OT approved answer is, of course, d) (Genesis 19:3-9)

 

[Kimpatsu]

Ok, a quick quiz:

You are entertaining two guests at your home. A crowd of men turn up at your door and demand to be allowed to have sex with your guests. Do you:

a) Ignore them and hope they go away.
b) Let them in.
c) Tell them not to be so wicked.
d) Tell them not to be so wicked, but offer your two virgin daughters for them to do with as they please

The OT approved answer is, of course, d) (Genesis 19:3-9)

OK, Hamish, I'm coming to your house. Who cares about wickedness if I can have your virgin daughters?

 

[Zep]

All these delightful references should be posted on the Rapture Ready BB, but using the chapter/verse reference only, not the text itself. See how many of them wake up and read...

 

[T'ai Chi]

Yes, every is going to die eventually, but I dont think that's a way to justify genocide...

Oh, well from the exceprt you gave, I could not have known that the entire passage was about genocide.

Who determines righteousness? God or man? I'd assume that most Christians think God does.

There are some other points. I found this an interesting read on the topic:

http://www.pbc.org/dp/roe/moses14.html

 

[Kimpatsu]

Oh, well from the exceprt you gave, I could not have known that the entire passage was about genocide.

Who determines righteousness? God or man? I'd assume that most Christians think God does.

Great to know that a fictitious Big Brother in the sky can be held culpable for evil acts by humans.

 

[T'ai Chi]

Great to know that a fictitious Big Brother in the sky can be held culpable for evil acts by humans.

I'm just reporting on what some people believe.

 

[Yahweh]

Oh, well from the exceprt you gave, I could not have known that the entire passage was about genocide.

Dont worry, most of the verses of the bible are extremely cryptic (the authors of the bible had problems with being able to "get the point across", they seem to go off on tangents and get very long winded... even still the details of the stories are surprisingly vague and inconsistant ).

Who determines righteousness? God or man? I'd assume that most Christians think God does.

Romans 3:10
There is none righteous, no, not one.

So I guess God determines what is righteous.


Here's something a little humorous:

1 Kings 8:46
There is no man that sinneth not.

...

2 Chronicles 6:36
There is no man which sinneth not.

Romans 3:23
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.

All men are sinners, all sinners fall short of the glory of God... wow, that sucks...

Dont worry, in other parts of the bible, it says you can win your salvation by faith alone.

It says so right in Romans 3:28:

A man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law.

...

Galatians 3:11-12 also deserves a little reconition

"The just shall live by faith. And the law is not of faith."

Ahh, deontology... so I guess Hitler was justified when he ordered the extermination of a race.

Hey, how did I forget James 2:21-25:

Was not Abraham our father justified by works? You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only. Likewise, was not Rabab the harlot also justified by works? For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

(Of course, it wasnt Jesus who said that, so it doesnt carry the same punch...)

So, is it faith, or is it good deeds. Better do both, you cant go wrong with that (unless there are people who take gods commans literally and consider having faith in condemning "witches" to death, murdering homosexuals/heathens/women who do not obey men, or committing crime in the name of God as a good deed...).

There are some other points. I found this an interesting read on the topic:

http://www.pbc.org/dp/roe/moses14.html

Very interesting.

 

[Tricky]

Genesis 19

30 Now Lot went up out of Zo'ar, and dwelt in the hills with his two daughters, for he was afraid to dwell in Zo'ar; so he dwelt in a cave with his two daughters. 31 And the first-born said to the younger, "Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of all the earth. 32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve offspring through our father." 33 So they made their father drink wine that night; and the first-born went in, and lay with her father; he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. 34 And on the next day, the first-born said to the younger, "Behold, I lay last night with my father; let us make him drink wine tonight also; then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve offspring through our father." 35 So they made their father drink wine that night also; and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. 36 Thus both the daughters of Lot were with child by their father. 37 The first-born bore a son, and called his name Moab; he is the father of the Moabites to this day. 38 The younger also bore a son, and called his name Ben-ammi; he is the father of the Ammonites to this day.

Seems like this story ought to have a punch line.

• Daddy always liked you best
• Don't try to fool me. I saw you coming back for more wine.
• (Lot): Um... this would really be a sin, if I weren't asleep... and drunk.

Probably "lots" more

 

[Johnny Pneumatic]

Rev.9:3
And there came out of the smoke locusts upon the earth: and unto them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power.




9:4
And it was commanded them that they should not hurt the grass of the earth, neither any green thing, neither any tree; but only those men which have not the seal of God in their foreheads.

9:5
And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man.

9:6
And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.

9:7
And the shapes of the locusts were like unto horses prepared unto battle; and on their heads were as it were crowns like gold, and their faces were as the faces of men.

9:8
And they had hair as the hair of women, and their teeth were as the teeth of lions.

9:9
And they had breastplates, as it were breastplates of iron; and the sound of their wings was as the sound of chariots of many horses running to battle.

9:10
And they had tails like unto scorpions, and there were stings in their tails: and their power was to hurt men five months.

9:11
And they had a king over them, which is the angel of the bottomless pit, whose name in the Hebrew tongue is Abaddon, but in the Greek tongue hath his name Apollyon.

9:12
One woe is past; and, behold, there come two woes more hereafter.

9:13
And the sixth angel sounded, and I heard a voice from the four horns of the golden altar which is before God,

9:14
Saying to the sixth angel which had the trumpet, Loose the four angels which are bound in the great river Euphrates.

9:15
And the four angels were loosed, which were prepared for an hour, and a day, and a month, and a year, for to slay the third part of men.

9:16
And the number of the army of the horsemen were two hundred thousand thousand: and I heard the number of them.

9:17
And thus I saw the horses in the vision, and them that sat on them, having breastplates of fire, and of jacinth, and brimstone: and the heads of the horses were as the heads of lions; and out of their mouths issued fire and smoke and brimstone.











Crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[jimmygun]

"In the beginning.....". Everything after this is even more rediculous.

 

[phildonnia]

2 Chronicles 4:2 (KJV):

Also he made a molten sea of ten cubits from brim to brim, round in compass, ... and a line of thirty cubits did compass it round about.

 

[DarkPrimus]

Mark 16:16
He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

 

[Yahweh]

"In the beginning.....". Everything after this is even more rediculous.

1. Everything that begins has a cause
2. The Universe had a beginning
3. Therefore, the Universe has a cause


1. Everything that begins has a cause
2. The bible begins with "In the beginning".
2. That means God had a beginning
4. Therefore, God has a cause

 

[lifegazer]

1. Everything that begins has a cause
2. The Universe had a beginning
3. Therefore, the Universe has a cause


1. Everything that begins has a cause
2. The bible begins with "In the beginning".
2. That means God had a beginning
4. Therefore, God has a cause

A 'thing' is an effect as perceived existing within spacetime. But God is, supposedly, the creator of those things existing within spacetime. I.e., there is a distinction to be made between 'things' and 'God'.
Your train of logic does not note this distinction. That 'things' have a cause does not automatically infer, as you imply, that 'God' has a cause. Therefore, your train of logic is completely wrong.

 

[Yahweh]

A 'thing' is an effect as perceived existing within spacetime. But God is, supposedly, the creator of those things existing within spacetime. I.e., there is a distinction to be made between 'things' and 'God'.
Your train of logic does not note this distinction. That 'things' have a cause does not automatically infer, as you imply, that 'God' has a cause. Therefore, your train of logic is completely wrong.

I realize the train of logic is entirely wrong, I just posted it as a kind of subtle satire (hence the smilie).

In fact, I think very recently made this post:

(I'm just posting this because my postsperday count is getting low...)

From ChristianAnswers.net:

If God is all-powerful, can He create a rock so big that He can't lift it?
No. God cannot do the logically impossible, any more than He can act out of character with Himself. God cannot, for instance, create a square circle, stop being good, or cease being God. God can do everything that is possible to do, which includes those acts for which there may be no simple, immediate, apparent, human explanation, i.e. miracles. For further study, see Jeremiah 32:17, Matthew 19:26, Hebrews 6:18, and 2 Timothy 2:13.

Dont worry, Christian logic is often very fuzzy, very evasive, and "bad". See Who created God?:

A number of sceptics ask this question. But God by definition is the uncreated creator of the universe, so the question ‘Who created God?’ is illogical, just like ‘To whom is the bachelor married?’

How nice, the question of God's origins is obscured by deliberate (and shoddy) semantics...

So a more sophisticated questioner might ask: ‘If the universe needs a cause, then why doesn’t God need a cause? And if God doesn’t need a cause, why should the universe need a cause?’ In reply, Christians should use the following reasoning:

1. Everything which has a beginning has a cause.
2. The universe has a beginning.
3. Therefore the universe has a cause.

Anyone want to guess the logical fallacy?