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Let's Rewrite the Ten Commandments

42: Your life does not have any higher meaning, purpose, or reason. Yahweh condemns unrealistic optimism.
 
7-Eleven: He who smelt it, delt it.

5-Alive: He who denied it, supplied it.

Par-4: Beans, beans, they are a magical fruit.
 
You shall NOT write the commandments in 'olde English' or other such anachronistic junk. If the commandments seem to be losing something from the translation, translate them before they become gibberish.
 
evildave said:
You shall NOT write the commandments in 'olde English' or other such anachronistic junk. If the commandments seem to be losing something from the translation, translate them before they become gibberish.

1337) How art thou gentlemen!! All o' thine base art belong to us.
 
You can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear.

Don't cast your pearls before swine.
 
1. Don't worship statues or graven depictions of things. Unless it's this. Engrave this in stone and worship this like hottentots worship the silver bird that dropped gifts from the sky.
 
1000000)Thou shalt be tested in thine psychic abilities if thou has agreed to be tested.


$)Thou shalt not create stupid, money-grabbing cults, especially if thine cult has a space-alien named Xenu


:)) Thou shalt have FUN
 
1!) No blinding people.

2@) Intellect is a gift man gives himself.

5%) As it says in the Atheist Bible, The Atheist God placed Skepticism in the mind of the Worth in the time of Atheist Genesism. As a testament to the Atheist Crusades, believe in the Atheist Messiah, you'll be glad you did when the Atheist Rapture comes.
 
1/5: It is better to have a bottle in front of thee than have thee a frontal lobotomy.
- Dr. Rock
 
Thou shalt not enforce any of these commandments upon those who choose not to follow them. Participation is voluntary. Exceptions may apply. Not available in all States. Must be 18 or older to enter. See package for details.
 
Some of the TLOP commandments

Here are some of TLOP's commandments

Thou shalt not exceed the speed of light.
Thou shalt not be colder that absolute zero.
Thou shalt not bend spoons with your mind.
.
 

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