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Let's Rewrite the Ten Commandments

XIV) Thou shalt let not archaic words excape thine very lips, nor obsolete and unworkable numbers thine hand, when haveth thou perfectly modern and understood words and numbers to use, lest ye be thought a pretentious jerk, else a mindless fool.
 
This whole thread is starting to look like the frikkin' Talmud. Anyway:

MCMLXXVIII) Thou shalt watch at least 4 different Kurosawa films.
 
n+1: Thou shalt not attibute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity, especially on bulletin boards.
 
mj) Whom so ever shall be found without the soul for getting down must stand and face the hounds of hell and rot inside a corpses shell.
 
Diogenes said:


Remember the thread about " seeing different words, than those written?"

I was muddling over " The Designated Hitler shall be an abomination. "

I felt I must agree, but I wasn't sure why...
Click to expand...

No doubt because we rarely see Hitter capitalized...
 
Diogenes said:


Remember the thread about " seeing different words, than those written?"

I was muddling over " The Designated Hitler shall be an abomination. "
Click to expand...
No, see? It all makes perfect sense. Waaay back in the 16th century when Brown wrote these words, he had no idea who "Hitler" was so he confused it with his knowledge of baseball and thought he was seeing "Hitter". His prediction was 100%, he just didn't know what it meant.


Wait a sec. I'm I thinking of Brown or Nostradamus? I always get those two confused.
 
Upchurch said:
No, see? It all makes perfect sense. Waaay back in the 16th century when Brown wrote these words, he had no idea who "Hitler" was so he confused it with his knowledge of baseball and thought he was seeing "Hitter". His prediction was 100%, he just didn't know what it meant.


Wait a sec. I'm I thinking of Brown or Nostradamus? I always get those two confused.
Click to expand...

That's Brown. Nostradamus's avatar is Sam Kineson.
 
y2k) the computers will be just fine

465) those pants dont make your butt look big and if they did i wouldnt say so anyway so stop asking (and get me a beer)

85.4) thou shalt not clip thy nails on the subway train for it is the grossest thing ever. seriously, dont.

666) thou shalt not freak out thy kids by saying they will burn in hell if they don't eat their meat (but you can withhold pudding)

69) thou may say harder or faster but never deeper.
 
91) Thou shalt not obey the 92nd rule.

92) Thou shalt ignore the 91st rule.
 
Cmdt 1.0E+1000000

A pun is an affront against all that is good. He who tells an especially stinky pun shall be shunned for a time for the first offense. For the second, the punner shall be forced to eat garlic, that we may all know he is punish by breath.
 
evildave said:
Cmdt 1.0E+1000000

A pun is an affront against all that is good. He who tells an especially stinky pun shall be shunned for a time for the first offense. For the second, the punner shall be forced to eat garlic, that we may all know he is punish by breath.
Click to expand...

I once made a list of the top 10 puns I've heard. How many actually made me laugh? Well, no pun in-ten-did.

321,653,959,365,235,444,321,212.000001233842385283) THOU SHALT EAT NAUGHT BUT TACOS!!
 
Thou shalt revise these commandments to keep up with the times.

Thou shalt strive to make this world a better place for yourself and others instead of wasting your time hoping for a better world in an afterlife.

Thou shalt always provide evidence for your claims.

Thou shalt not harm others in the name of a diety. You are responsible for your own desires and actions.

Thou shalt not talk during movies, or ye shall surely die.
 
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