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Let's Rewrite the Ten Commandments

Sundog

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This idea came from something hammy said in another thread. Someone brought up that there was nothing to go in the place of monuments to the Ten Commandments and he said "That's because y'all can't agree on anything."

So let's come up with our own secular Ten Commandments, real or funny.

What would you put on the list? Be prepared to defend the serious suggestions.
 
4) Thou shall not telemarket, nor shall thou spam.

5) You shall have no gods before ... lunch. Or after. During is OK as long as thou useth a hollandaise sauce on thyne god.

6) Check and Raise is permitted.

7) Thou shall not carve these commandments in granite, or any stone, and put them in a courthouse.
 
Jon_in_london said:
3. Thou shalt not bogart thine joint mine friend (pass it over to Me).
Click to expand...

(Hands across the water)

4. Thou shalt not waste others' time buying lottery tickets at the 7-11.

I think we're gonna need more than ten.
 
Commandment 8.2: Thou shalt not trust anyone who claimeth to speak on behalf of the Almighty.
 
Brown said:
Commandment 8.2: Thou shalt not trust anyone who claimeth to speak on behalf of the Almighty.
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Oh, I like that one! :D

Commandment 6.022 x 10^23: Thou shalt think for thyself.
 
pi) Thou shall not calculate the final decimal place of an irrational number, for surely ye shall die.

edited for drama
 
In the spirit of Upchurch:

Thou shalt not go anywhere faster than light.

Thou shalt not witness a cause subsequent to its effect.
 
doa) Thou shalt not kill thyself or others, except in defense of thyself or others.

(okay, not a funny one, but it's a basic premise of morality and the rule ought to be there.)
 
11. Thou shalt not urinate facing into the wind.

12. Pick not thy neighbor's nose for it is an affort to the rest of humanity.

13. If thou shalt smoke , do so in thy own privacy.

14. make no law limiting free speech or the right of assembly.
 
15) There is no commandment 15

16) Happiness is mandatory. Unhappiness is treason. Treason is punishable by death.

17) The Computer is your friend.
 
Ipecac said:
3000. Oh, bite me. It's fun!
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I call Mr. Misty-meanor!

(Last night some acquaintences stopped by the house, and at one point the guy asked if I'd ever heard of MST3K. My wife laughed and showed him the tape cabinet that contains the first five seasons. :D )
 
Sundog said:
I call Mr. Misty-meanor!

(Last night some acquaintences stopped by the house, and at one point the guy asked if I'd ever heard of MST3K. My wife laughed and showed him the tape cabinet that contains the first five seasons. :D )
Click to expand...

:D
 
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