drkitten said:
Why do you assume that we need to use forces to communicate at a distance? I communicate with particles --- well, they're usually called "pieces of paper" --- all the time. Similarly, much of my communication is done with much smaller particles called "electrons." I don't see any particular reason that I can use electrons for communications and not (assuming sufficiently advanced technology) mesons, neutrinos, yadda yadda.
More to the point --- communicating via EM specifically does not imply that the EM is detectable as a communication at a distance. For example, I can use a laser (which is, of course, an EM signal) to communicate between two points without having anyone else pick up the beam outside of the direct line-of-sight, since a laser beam is directional. As another example, since the bandwidth of any channel is limited, I will probably want to compress data before I send it --- a really good compression system will yield data that's indistinguishable from noise.
Our hypothetical aliens may be communicating using a directional, highly compressed signal carried by a stream of high-speed mesons. SETI would never find that.
Communicating with particles in this context is a difficult, hazardous, and generally stillborn idea. Sufficiently advanced technology would not make them a good choice.
While it is interesting to think about closed beam (laser in your example) communications, it would never be used for broadcast communications and certainly not for radar. The whole point of radar is to search for things you don't know are there. And therefore largely transmitting at nothing at all.
And radar signal will never be encoded like you suggest. Putting alot of modulation on a signal spreads its spectrum and greatly reduces the range at which it can be detected. That is why a radar signal will always be only modulated just enough to make it easy to recognize in the background noise.
You are coming up with classes of communication that would not be useful to look for, but the existance of these would not in any way preclude the existance of more easily detectable RF.