How Penn changed my life...

[Girl 6]

I know Paul. I'm not the size of Penn, but I am making sure to be VERY polite (except to that dental assistant...I've been waiting for giving her just a bit of her medicine for years...)

On another note, I did come clean with my mother in law about what kind of conference Pool Boy and I had attended. I didn't say it was anything than a skeptics conference. She said that she was glad I had told her the truth, but that she wouldn't baby sit next year since she believes in UFOs (she saw one in California) and ghosts. She also hates Penn and Teller! That really set her off. She said too bad I couldn't go next year. I told her that there was a scholarship program and maybe Kitten2 should apply next year, that there were 12 year old twins at the meeting I just attended! Oopppsss! I did it again! I think she is going to apply for cutody of Kitten2. Anyway, I did come honest, and I do think she is appreciative that I have done so. I had been telling her it was just an "education conference" (which it is). But I did feel badly at taking advantage of her.

Yes, well, telling the truth does have costs associated with it.

I actually don't think you took advantage of her. Is it really her concern WHERE you go and what kind of conference you're going to? That's bordering on obsession and just plain nosiness.

However, if it made you feel better and if it didn't really hurt her, then it's quite alright.

G6

 

[Lisa]

Kitty, how shall I put this? ARRRRGGGGHHHH.
Okay, I feel better.
The conference isn't only about religion. Ask your mother in law how she feels about alternative medicie. People are dying needlessly because quacks want to line their pockets. She believes in UFO's? Maybe she should attend a conference and talk with Phil Plait. Heck, last year we had both Phil and the astronomer royale of Scotland.
With the mix of people we get at TAMs, you can discuss anything. Bring that 13 year old next year. I promise I won't talk her into getting a tattoo.

 

[UnrepentantSinner]

Heck, last year we had both Phil and the astronomer royale of Scotland.

And Jack Horkheimer...

 

[TruthSeeker]

Kitty

Actually I also have in mind a real person who's going to die soon. She's the mother of a friend and she has an inoperable tumor. It's so obvious that she will collapse if she finds out the truth... I'm not saying her relatives should resort to woowooism (and they don't, actually) but it is very clear that the truth will be devastating.

This is one of the ongoing debates in end-of-life care. Clinically, it has been my experience that people told of a terminal diagnosis may well "collapse" or become demoralized or grieve. However, knowing the truth gives them a chance to get ready to go. People use the time to take care of legal, financial, spiritual and relationship issues. We once helped an elderly man dying of lung cancer find his high school sweetheart so he could tell her how much he'd always loved her. Other people plan their funerals or take an active part in planning their end of life care and this helps them deal with the grief. These people are also spared the alarm and fear that would accompany symptom progression. It is difficult to die of cancer and not realize it is happening. Patients who are not told often know anyway and sometimes are angry that they were not told.

We are currently doing studies to clarify some of these issues and we've followed almost 200 people from diagnosis until death. Fewer than 10% express a wish for hastened death. None have said they regretted being told they were terminal.

At present, it is extremely rare for our docs not to tell their patients the truth. I know this happens more in Europe.

Personally, I'd want to know. I have to agree that while the truth may hurt, it is respectful to be honest.

 

[El Greco]

We are currently doing studies to clarify some of these issues and we've followed almost 200 people from diagnosis until death. Fewer than 10% express a wish for hastened death. None have said they regretted being told they were terminal.

Of course they don't regret it. I would like to know myself. Truth draws like a magnet, no matter how harsh it may be. But this doesn't mean that truth would make my last days any better. I am almost certain I would get depressed.

That 10% doesn't look small to me. On the contrary, it is an indication that an even greater percentage were made miserable although not to the point that they would ask for euthanasia.

 

[TruthSeeker]

That 10% doesn't look small to me. On the contrary, it is an indication that an even greater percentage were made miserable although not to the point that they would ask for euthanasia.

oops, I left it out! About 25% report clinically relevant symptoms of depression. Not really different than other medically ill populations. There is also a great deal of anxiety about pain and other symptoms but this can be addressed with education about treatment strategies. I didn't mean to minimize the suffering of these people. I just wanted to point out that they know the truth, and some are distressed by it, but most are glad to have it. Rarely does anyone completely fall apart psychologically.