I just visited my brother in Wichita. He has BPD and becomes whoever he is around. This woman he is dating is a dyed in the wool Baptist. I found a DVD when he was out next to his tv that looked like a time share video called watermark celebration heights. I popped it in to see if he was getting suckered into a condo. Worse yet. This video had 45 testimonials on it one of which was my brother. Yep he was taped zooming in and out from black and white to color, telling the camera that he had come to Jesus. After I cleaned up my vomit, I copied his test. to my hard drive. Border line personality disorder is a thought thing to deal with. He was with friends 10 years ago and they were all on the volunteer fire dept. so he joined. He had a college buddy move in with him and buddy was going into the Army, so he joined, but then backed out at the last min. Now he is with a control freak woman and she is trying to make him into a BAC. He knows the arguments, and will not go into detail with me on it. I would rather he was anything but one of these pompous ******* Christians.
Have to vent.
- Thread starter edteach
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You don't have to say: pompous ******* Christians here, you can write out feces devouring!!! or anus osculating!!
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Arthur Denton
Muse
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@edtech, just "laissez faire, laissez aller, laissez passer". He will, eventually, come to his senses. Or, in the end, this epyphany with religion may actually be good for him. He may actually find out that divorce and secular marriage are there to work for you 
dahduh
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Now that you've vented, perhaps you should start to think about:
1. Tolerance
2. Invasion of privacy
He is who he is; if he's not a victim of abuse or is causing harm to those around him, who are you to decide what he should or shouldn't do?
1. Tolerance
2. Invasion of privacy
He is who he is; if he's not a victim of abuse or is causing harm to those around him, who are you to decide what he should or shouldn't do?
liverleef
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wow, I feel for you. BPD is a terrible condition and it is hard on families as well. I can't think of anything you can do that won't make a bad situation even worse. My guess is any attempts you would make to separate them would backfire. This woman would likely try to convince your brother that you are the debil. Hopefully he will eventually decide he doesn't need her. Best of luck.
I went to the church his girl friend has him going to. It is called New Spring chruch. It is a libral church. He did a testimonial on he church web and it is posted. For the idiot that said 1. Tolerance
2. Invasion of privacy
He is who he is; if he's not a victim of abuse or is causing harm to those around him, who are you to decide what he should or shouldn't do?
I could go on for a few pages, but since you do not understand my first page, you will not be able to understand a new one. So Yaaaa, good luck flipping burgers.
I have no patience with christians, I have a lic. plate frame that you can put your own saying on it. I had "god is only pretend" You would not believe how many idiots I had spitting on my car going down the road in Wichita. So I changed it to me4dogon Most christians could not figure it out any way. So I do not have to worry about getting keyed. They want to shove their crap down my throat but you dare not say you do not believe in god or they get all upset.
2. Invasion of privacy
He is who he is; if he's not a victim of abuse or is causing harm to those around him, who are you to decide what he should or shouldn't do?
I could go on for a few pages, but since you do not understand my first page, you will not be able to understand a new one. So Yaaaa, good luck flipping burgers.
I have no patience with christians, I have a lic. plate frame that you can put your own saying on it. I had "god is only pretend" You would not believe how many idiots I had spitting on my car going down the road in Wichita. So I changed it to me4dogon Most christians could not figure it out any way. So I do not have to worry about getting keyed. They want to shove their crap down my throat but you dare not say you do not believe in god or they get all upset.
Beerina
Sarcastic Conqueror of Notions
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Uhhhh, how hot is she?
westprog
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I can imagine a lot of single males who'd regard expressing religious belief as a small price to pay.
Life is not easy for people with mental disorders out in the community. If he's with a group of people who treat him well, then going to church once a week is a small price. If they aren't treating him well, then the religious aspect is the least of it.
As always when commenting on individual family cases, I bear in mind that there's a lot more going on than anyone reading a short thread will ever know.
TinfoilCat
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Be the bigger man and don't hate them back.
If they are in fact Christians, then they should not be expressing any form of hatred against you. Not all Christians are like that.
We can be nice, understanding people like any non religious people can. The last quote: " you do not believe in god or they get all upset."
When we say we DO believe in God, you get all upset.
Its not you saying you believe in god that gets me upset. Its you putting a pamplet in my hand going down the street. Its shoving your belief system on me by trying to put in people who will put prayer in school, over turn roe v wade, the ten comandments on the walls of every public building. Most christians can not live and let live. they have to try to push their crazy stuff on to me and anyone else who does not think like they do. If you do not good for you, I have no problem with what ever you want to beleive. If you want to beleive in the flying unicorn god of the north pole go for it. Just do not try to push it off on me. I am perfectly happy where I am at.
I share your feelings re BACs, by the way, but you have to see this is entirely his business and none of yours. Back off. If this goes sour, he'll need you. If it does not, then be happy for him. But try to come between your brother and a woman and you'll lose a brother.
westprog
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I really don't think it's possible to accurately advise people on family matters, but I do have a vision of someone saying "I've actually found a woman who loves me, both spiritually and physically. I thought I would always be alone. I've never been so happy."
"They keep giving me leaflets. Dump her."
Kopji
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As far as 'pompous Baptists' go it looks like he could be doing a lot worse. This is Kansas after all... 'watermark' is their clever term for baptism, and the videos are posted on the web: http://newspring.org/ Your brother is probably up there somewhere.
Would not call this a 'liberal' church in the flavor of UU or CCC, this would be more mainstream 'evangelical'.
The media aspect of the before/after videos does not seem exploitative, they advertise it as part of their service ministry.
Two things on their site gave a little heartburn. One is something called 'The Judgment House'. Bleah, even the name is distasteful and creepy...
The other problem is a common one - a typically loose and open contact between school age kids and just about anyone who wants to be a lay minister. The Catholics come under a lot of criticism for clergy abuse, but they are probably good compared to organizations like this with little or no oversight of ministerial conduct.
The pastor seems like a normal enough guy, and has been at it a long time.
All in all, there are pompous Christians and pompous atheists too. Your brother is not going to turn into some kind of monster. 'What's been said already'.
Would not call this a 'liberal' church in the flavor of UU or CCC, this would be more mainstream 'evangelical'.
The media aspect of the before/after videos does not seem exploitative, they advertise it as part of their service ministry.
Two things on their site gave a little heartburn. One is something called 'The Judgment House'. Bleah, even the name is distasteful and creepy...
The other problem is a common one - a typically loose and open contact between school age kids and just about anyone who wants to be a lay minister. The Catholics come under a lot of criticism for clergy abuse, but they are probably good compared to organizations like this with little or no oversight of ministerial conduct.
The pastor seems like a normal enough guy, and has been at it a long time.
All in all, there are pompous Christians and pompous atheists too. Your brother is not going to turn into some kind of monster. 'What's been said already'.
First off you need to understand BPD or border line personality disorder. These people become who every they are around. They tend not to think for them self’s. They are very hard to be around. It is very close to Bi Polar disorder. One min. they are laughing like a school girl the next they are spitting at you. I have watched him and her. She is very controlling and has never had to worry about anything, her father pays for every thing she needs at 35. She keeps telling him he is really a Republican when he has always voted Democrat. She wants to make him into her view of a what she wants, not to accept him for what he is. He is playing the part right now. I see many a problem down the road. But that is not my point. My point is that he is playing a part of a Christian for social reasons. And this is my view, that most Christians are the way they are for social reasons. Put them alone in a room for years and only the most low IQ will keep the faith.
RobRoy
Not A Mormon
I'll caveat my thoughts by saying I'm not a psychiatrist or have any training in the field. I have a smattering of knowledge in this area, and anyone with better information, please feel free to correct me.
However, the main facet of what you're describing, this chameleon-like tendency, doesn't sound like BPD. What you're describing is similar to the Woody Allen film Zelig (of course, without the physical transformation). There is a condition like this, but it's not BPD.
BPD is categorized by depression, reactivity of mood (vast mood swings), impulsivity (meaning drastic eating, drinking, sex, etc.), suicidal behavior, and unstable self-image/self-identity. They are usually have a very high sense of abandonment, which characterizes their other emotional states. The DSM-IV states that they are deliberately manipulative or difficult, with their manipulations directed toward "gaining the concern of caretakers."
Put anyone alone in a room for years and you're likely to have a very damaged individual, regardless of IQ, when/if you let them out:
Psychiatric Effects of Solitary Confinement
Psychopathological Effects of Solitary Confinement
Mental Health Issues in Long-Term Solitary and "Supermax" Confinement
Intelligence does not an atheist make.
ETA: Further reading on BPD showed a differential diagnosis with Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), which displays chameleon-like social skills. However, this is most often shown in sexual relationships, and typically don't have long-lasting relationships, including friends.
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I can get why they don't understand it, you fail at backwards spelling.
Anyway, chill out a little. Not all Christians are idiots, not all atheists are intelligent. Amateur diagnosis of psychological disorders is simply the dumbest thing imaginable, and a total waste of time - it's as woo-woo as any of the religious nonsense you hate. Leave identifying personality disorders to trained professionals, in real life it's hard enough for them to leave their preconceptions behind and accurately diagnose another person, much less someone intimately involved.
Scooby, he went to a therapist and was diagnosed as BPD. I had him pegged as Bipolar. If you want to argue with the diagnosis then I can get you the Dr. and you can call him.
RobRoy
Not A Mormon
Well, not to argue with you, but what you're describing isn't part of the BPD diagnosis. If he does seem to have chameleon-like social skills, that may not be part of his mental illness. It sounds like he's maintained long-standing relationships (friendships, girlfriend, etc.), so it's not a necessarily a negative aspect as you describe. The changes he's made in his life, military service, firefighting, voting Republican don't mean he's doing it for any reason other than his own.
However, even if you supplied us with the doctor's name and contact information and your brother's name (neither of which I would ask for, and would caution you to never provide) the doctor shouldn't/couldn't reveal any information or discuss the case with anyhow.
As you asked for advice on this matter by posting it to a public forum, I side with everyone else who have stated that the choice to be religious, whether you disagree with it or not, is not really grounds for suggesting your brother is being self-destructive. His vehemence upon conversion is hardly unique, and do not smack of anything more than a new chapter in his life.
Robin
Penultimate Amazing
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Nobody has asked the obvious question - have you attempted to approach anybody in authority in the Church - a Pastor or management committee about your concerns?
As far as I know most Christian churches are quite aware of the issue of people becoming Christians for reasons related to a mental illness and in general discourage it, or counsel the person in question to go slow.