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Dear Users... (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people)

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Big change put in by colleagues who sit a few feet from me, did they tell me, me who is on call today, anything about the change? Did they bugger

I despair
 
Putting "URGENT!!!!" in the subject line of your email is a great way to not get your issue looked at urgently.

Oh no. The best troublecalls are...

1. Not sent via the actual official ticketing and tracking system but just e-mail directly to whichever IT who's name you can remember. Double points if this IT is off that day. Triple word score if it's sent to an IT who no longer even works here.

2. Is not actually for the person who sent the e-mail but for another person but doesn't actually say that anywhere.

3. Is just the subject line "NEED HELP ASAP!!!!!!!!!"

4. Contains no further information.
 
One of our guys went to China to visit friends and family over the new-years holiday. He'll be back tomorrow but due to site restrictions he's not allowed on site until 2 weeks after returning from China. Guess who just got next weeks hardware modification project dumped in his, previously outside the loop, lap?
 
I'm gonna track down whoever thought it was a good idea to do bulk licensing for this software I'm having issues with based on MAC Address instead of IP or Machine Name and punch them in every genital they own.
 
My brother worked for an electronics company that used autocad. They bought official copies and locked the dongles away then ran hacked copies from the net that didn’t need dongles.
Many years ago that was the case for Maya. and 3ds Max, many a games developer genuinely used cracked copies because of the problems with dongles and software protection and not to avoid paying for seats.
 
If you ignore the emails to update your Active Directory password for 2 weeks and choose not to carry your fob with you, as is mandated by company policy, your password expiring is NOT an emergency. Someone coming to your desk is not going to resolve the issue because no one can generate the required security token.

Submit a request for a new fob and do the walk of shame to retrieve it. And next time, follow company policy.
 
Dear Users.

No IT Professional has ever, in the recent history of this or any possible universe, ever told users on a normal, business office Windows Domain/Server/Workstation network to "shut down at the end of the day and leave their computers off until the next morning."

Don't whine at me when you catch an update in the middle of the day and Windows reboots. Especially on a Monday if you're computer was turned off ever since you cut out for lunch early on Friday.
 
Someone did something on Friday afternoon, and now every DTA on the network is prompting for Bitlocker drive recovery.

Remember - we have about 8,000 active users.

At about 9:30 Monday morning I saw the largest number of calls waiting, and the longest wait time, that I have ever seen. And that was 27 calls waiting, over 11 minutes. And right now, 13 calls with 7 minutes wait.

What fun.
 
Dear Users.

No IT Professional has ever, in the recent history of this or any possible universe, ever told users on a normal, business office Windows Domain/Server/Workstation network to "shut down at the end of the day and leave their computers off until the next morning."

Don't whine at me when you catch an update in the middle of the day and Windows reboots. Especially on a Monday if you're computer was turned off ever since you cut out for lunch early on Friday.

Where I worked, we were required not only to shut down at the end of the day, but to remove the laptop from the dock station and lock it in a cabinet. The security guards were equipped with bolt cutters to snip the security cables and confiscate them.
I can remember exactly ONE occasion when we were told to leave them out and turned on for a major update.
Oh, and I took alternate Fridays off.
 
Someone did something on Friday afternoon, and now every DTA on the network is prompting for Bitlocker drive recovery.

Remember - we have about 8,000 active users.

At about 9:30 Monday morning I saw the largest number of calls waiting, and the longest wait time, that I have ever seen. And that was 27 calls waiting, over 11 minutes. And right now, 13 calls with 7 minutes wait.

What fun.

What does "DTA" expand to? I'm not getting any success on DuckDuckGo when pairing it with "Windows", "network," or "Bitlocker."

When someone calls, we have to provide them with a 48-digit drive recovery key. There's a lot of people in this room just chanting numbers.

Looking at this through the lens of a long-time Linux user, I wonder how this problem and the solution would have played out in the Linux world.

First we assume that an error of the same magnitude happened: someone did something to a server and borked access to a critical service used by 8,000 users. We further assume a fix can be put together over the weekend without having to go through a massive bureaucracy for implementing it, which simply may not be possible in a government organization with 8,000 users.

Given that you mention giving a 48 digit code over the phone I'm assuming users can start the login process on their workstation, although they may be immediately be given a dialogue box asking for the recovery key.

Back to Linux. Under Linux the ssh service starts as soon as networking is available, meaning technical people with the correct password (or better, correct ssh private key) can connect to the system. Provided you have technical I/T people working Saturday and Sunday, they could put together a script to identify the machine, retrieve the unlock key from whatever the organization uses for Active Directory, and apply the key to unlock the volume. Push out the script to all 8,000 systems over the weekend and on Monday morning people log in and don't see any problem.

All right, suppose the majority of affected computers are inaccessible because they were down for the weekend. The technical people could add the unlock script to the base system profile on the central directory server, meaning it would be run when the computer connects, By the time the user has entered their credentials the script has finished its work and the user is able to log in and start working.

Another possible solution, in the event that a script-based unlock is not possible. (Which I rather doubt would be the case in Linux. Pretty much every Linux service can be managed from the command line. Any GUI front end interacts with the Linux service using the same system calls the command line utility uses, and some GUIs actually do their work by issuing command line instructions.) Assuming there are technical I/T people working on the weekend and you're running a capable PBX like Asterisk, someone could put together a script the retrieve the access key and send it to the affected system. Make sure the script is in place on Monday morning and add a new menu option to the top level help desk IVR (Interactive Voice Response) menu when the calls start coming in.

The tough part of designing and writing that script would be verifying callers and the computer they regularly use to ensure someone isn't using the current crisis to unlock someone else's system. One could also push that part of the recovery process to the Help Desk people, and once they've validated the identity can transfer the call to the script that performs the unlock, freeing up help desk staff to go to the next call.

Arthwollipot, I realise you're a Help Desk person and not on the technical team, but it sounds like your technical people rely too much on the Help Desk to dig them out of their blunders instead of searching for and implementing a scripted solution.

For people with more experience managing large AD setups: are scripted solutions like the ones I described available in this environment? Could they be implemented quickly enough that the Help Desk is not inundated with calls, especially given the two day lead time?
 
What does "DTA" expand to? I'm not getting any success on DuckDuckGo when pairing it with "Windows", "network," or "Bitlocker."
Sorry, it's Desktop Anywhere, which is the Microsoft protocol to allow a device to connect to a secure network over any unsecure Internet connection. In this organisation it's common to refer to any device - usually a laptop or a Surface Pro - running this protocol as a DTA. So in this case, DTA basically means laptop. Sorry for thoughtlessly using a local colloquialism.

Arthwollipot, I realise you're a Help Desk person and not on the technical team, but it sounds like your technical people rely too much on the Help Desk to dig them out of their blunders instead of searching for and implementing a scripted solution.

For people with more experience managing large AD setups: are scripted solutions like the ones I described available in this environment? Could they be implemented quickly enough that the Help Desk is not inundated with calls, especially given the two day lead time?
In some cases it is possible, certainly. But there are also cases where the damage is done in an instant and the only thing we can do is clean up after it. Bitlocker is a required system (if any reader doesn't know what that is, it encrypts the hard drive of a device so that if the device is ever lost or stolen, the bad guys can't get illegal access to its contents), and it requires the recovery key to proceed. We are the only ones who can provide that key, and that is by design. By forcing the user to come back to us for verification, we can ensure that only legitimate users can access the device.

Remember, I work in government, not in the corporate sector, so there are security protocols about that you wouldn't find in non-government organisations. Some of them were designed and mandated by people who have no idea how IT systems actually work.
 
Dear Users.

No IT Professional has ever, in the recent history of this or any possible universe, ever told users on a normal, business office Windows Domain/Server/Workstation network to "shut down at the end of the day and leave their computers off until the next morning."

Don't whine at me when you catch an update in the middle of the day and Windows reboots. Especially on a Monday if you're computer was turned off ever since you cut out for lunch early on Friday.

Not exactly so. I consulted at a place that told all users to do exactly that. When there was an update to be pushed, Wake on LAN (aka WOL) was used to turn them all back on for the update. If you were working at 4 in the morning, it was quite as shock as every damn computer in the place started up simultaneously. ;)
 
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