Dear Users... (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people)

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That fool really irritated me. It's activated my Internal Obstruction Engine. I just referred someone to a committee that I know for a fact hasn't made a decision in anything shorter than two years.
 
TragicMonkey said:
I worked in an office where we had the opposite problem: the lights were staying on all night, costing the company precious cents. Turns out it was a mylar helium-filled balloon tied to someone's cubicle wall, bobbing around and triggering the motion sensors.

So the company banned balloons in the office. They were masters of morale, and pennypinching.
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Many, many, moons ago when I briefly worked for <REDACTED> I discovered after the xmas dinner that one of the ubiquitous helium balloons had sufficient lift to carry an empty soft-drink can to the ceiling.

Joyous was the life of the poor drudges who had to remove them from the 7m high open plan office area, the three storey atrium or the four storey reception foyer......
 
JoeMorgue said:
I'm currently being baited into being a referee in a battle between one manager who wants some furniture delivered first and the other one who wants the printers delivered first and neither one of them are willing to budge and they keep trying to get me to take a side when the truth is I couldn't care less if I tried and I'm not even sure why they think I would. I can do everything with the printers I need to do if they are sitting on the floor, I just plug them in and give them a static IP on the print server, beyond that you can hang them from the ceiling for all I care.
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Be careful choosing the anchor for the nooses.

ETA: Oh, did you mean the printers?
 
TragicMonkey said:
I'd tell them to get the furniture delivered first, then after it arrives announce the furniture is unsuitable for the printers--the metal bits will magnetize the printers' internal spin indices and cause them to misprint--and the furniture will have to be returned and new, different furniture ordered. Recommend printer-friendly IKEA furniture, that you know they'll have to assemble themselves.

Then when the printers arrive put on a sad face and say it's just as you feared, they were delivered at exactly the wrong time, they were carried outdoors during daylight at the time of maximum sunspot activity. They've been burned out by the radiation and new printers need to be ordered.
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Ah, sunspot activity. A BOFH classic. :thumbsup:
 
catsmate said:
Many, many, moons ago when I briefly worked for <REDACTED> I discovered after the xmas dinner that one of the ubiquitous helium balloons had sufficient lift to carry an empty soft-drink can to the ceiling.

Joyous was the life of the poor drudges who had to remove them from the 7m high open plan office area, the three storey atrium or the four storey reception foyer......
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This is the reason that we have pellet rifles.
 
alfaniner said:
I think CNN is using Cisco Webex for almost all their remote interviews (because the marquee says so) and it looks like a POS. Massive pixellation, constant loss of signal -- they must have signed a low-bid contract or something.
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Maybe Microsoft, or Zoom sponsored them?
 
xterra said:
I used 'pellet' rather than 'BB' because I don't know if 'BB' is an Americanism or if it's used in other places also.
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Oh no it's used over here. Personally I've use one on magpies.

That was not, however, a solution acceptable to <REDACTED>. Maintenance staff balancing unsafely on ladders, equipped with long, heavy, metal poles was fine.
No-one actually died and the breakages weren't that expensive...
 
Under very similar circumstances, I've used a .22 rifle loaded with bird shot.

Doesn't do any damage to the interior of the building but is quite sufficient to end balloons, pigeons and rats.
 
Trebuchet said:
Was there no lighting in those ceilings? Call in the guys who maintain it.
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There was, IIRR, long dangly things in the atrium and foyer and the usual fluorescent panels in the open-plan spaces. I presume the on-site people who maintained that were the ones falling off ladders and dropping stuff on people below.
 
I want to invent a time machine and Terminator myself back to the first office manager to utter the phrase "I want all the wires hidden away" and remove them from the timeline.

I swear I spend as much time running wires behind, around, and under desks so that no eye my ever be offended by the mere sight of them as I do anything else.

This problem is compounded by the fact that it seems most people who's religion forbids them to ever gaze upon a wire are the nearly always the same ones that A) have huge, heavy (or worse built in) desks with no through holes or other wire management features and B) up and decide every other Thursday that they want their entire "work flow" reconfigured, and C) Have every device known to man plugged into their workstation.
 
JoeMorgue said:
I want to invent a time machine and Terminator myself back to the first office manager to utter the phrase "I want all the wires hidden away" and remove them from the timeline.

I swear I spend as much time running wires behind, around, and under desks so that no eye my ever be offended by the mere sight of them as I do anything else.

This problem is compounded by the fact that it seems most people who's religion forbids them to ever gaze upon a wire are the nearly always the same ones that A) have huge, heavy (or worse built in) desks with no through holes or other wire management features and B) up and decide every other Thursday that they want their entire "work flow" reconfigured, and C) Have every device known to man plugged into their workstation.
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It drives me nuts that somebody decided to make all cords black. If power cords were always black, monitor cords always white, etc life would be so much easier. Then they always move things around so there's a huge knot of identical cords when you just want to unplug ONE thing...
 
TragicMonkey said:
It drives me nuts that somebody decided to make all cords black. If power cords were always black, monitor cords always white, etc life would be so much easier. Then they always move things around so there's a huge knot of identical cords when you just want to unplug ONE thing...
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I mentioned earlier I'm in the process of setting up a new office. I brought in my tool kit a few rolls of colored electrical tape. Any wire I'm running that I can't see both ends of one spot or that goes through multiple holes or pathways or whatnot, a little wrap of colored tape goes around each end of it.
 
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