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Christ returns

arcticpenguin

Philosopher
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http://www.theonion.com/onion3923/index.html

Christ Returns For Some Of His Old Things
JERUSALEM—After being away for nearly two millennia, Jesus Christ triumphantly returned Monday to pick up some of His old belongings. "I realize this isn't exactly how the world's Christians were imagining it, but I left a really comfortable pair of sandals in Galilee, and I wanted them back," said Christ, who died for our sins. "Also, I'm pretty sure I lent [Apostle] Simon Peter my best goblet at the Last Supper." This marks Christ's first return since 76 A.D., when he thought he'd forgotten to turn off his coffee pot.
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Roadtoad said:
Hmmmmm. Well, what was he driving? (Probably a white Mustang...)
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Probably a stereotypical VW microbus...with flower stickers & a MY DAD CAN SMITE YOUR DAD! bumper-sticker....
 
Somehow an SUV seems to suit the fellow. Preferably the largest SUV in existance, painted a blinding white.
 
Roadtoad said:
Hmmmmm. Well, what was he driving? (Probably a white Mustang...)
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No way. It was a Suburban.


Limo.


Pulling a Hummer.

(Sprinkle these ;) anyplace you'd like.)
 
JC won't need wheels, man! Just a thumb & a road, like David Banner on the Hulk TV show! (With appropriate sad piano music playing in the background, ala the show):D
 
Temporal Renegade said:
JC won't need wheels, man! Just a thumb & a road, like David Banner on the Hulk TV show! (With appropriate sad piano music playing in the background, ala the show):D
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David... the hulk I always remembed was Bruce... its funny how they gave THE HULK such a gay name... might as well called him Todd...
 
Yahweh said:

David... the hulk I always remembed was Bruce... its funny how they gave THE HULK such a gay name... might as well called him Todd...
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According to Stan Lee, that's why the studio changed his name in the first place; it didn't sound 'manly' enough. Idiots.
So what does that make Bruce Wayne? Bruce Springsteen? Bruce Willis? Bruce Lee?
 
Didn't they keep the "Bruce" but only as a middle name? "David Bruce Banner"? Did the comics do that too? I can't remember.
 
Upchurch said:
Didn't they keep the "Bruce" but only as a middle name? "David Bruce Banner"? Did the comics do that too? I can't remember.
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As a middle name on TV, yes. The comics, I'm not sure of, because I was never a real big Hulk fan.
 
Well, as long as the old man is back in town, I hope he tells those morbid followers of his who insist on decorating their bodies, cars, houses, and hillsides with crosses to stop it. Constantly reminding someone who was tortured to death where they died and spent the most painful time of their life must be terribly distressing.

Do yourself a favor JC, and tell them it would be so much better if they want back to the original symbol of the fish.
 
Can you imagine the marketing blitz this would cause? All the car companies trying to get Him to endorse their cars? Well, I don't think He'd be too keen on the Ferrari people, though...might be bearing a grudge against that whole Roman thing.
 
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