Canada is invading Minnesota!

Bjorn said:
You're mixing up the countries - Norway is not invading! Yet!
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Actually, the guys from Norway were the first invaders.

The Vikings, taking a break from "foot-ball" as they called it, decided to invade a land as much like Norway as possible. Norway, of course, is a hilly country with beautiful fjords leading to the sea. And so the Vikings, being not too smart in the first place and having played too much "foot-ball" without helmets, settled in Minnesota, which is basically as flat as a piece of lefse and has no access to the sea at all.

"You betcha!" they yelled, as the raped and pillaged and colonized the state. "Yah, sure!" Even today, people here in Minnesota say "Yah, sure, you betcha!" and the Vikings still are taking a break from "foot-ball."
 
Brown said:
Actually, the guys from Norway were the first invaders.

The Vikings, taking a break from "foot-ball" as they called it, decided to invade a land as much like Norway as possible. Norway, of course, is a hilly country with beautiful fjords leading to the sea. And so the Vikings, being not too smart in the first place and having played too much "foot-ball" without helmets, settled in Minnesota, which is basically as flat as a piece of lefse and has no access to the sea at all.

"You betcha!" they yelled, as the raped and pillaged and colonized the state. "Yah, sure!" Even today, people here in Minnesota say "Yah, sure, you betcha!" and the Vikings still are taking a break from "foot-ball."
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And according to a famous historian, they couldn't speak English too well. So when the nuns in Lindisfarne asked them 'how do you do', they showed them how they did it. :p
 
Denise said:
Walter Wayne, how does one surrender? I don't want to be shot, but damn, I need beer. I love Canadians! All of them!
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Just use "please" and "thank you" a lot. It should be easy to find our forces. They're the ones saying sorry after each casualty they inflict on the thugs defending you city.

Walt
 
Hey, you know what two words don't go together?

"Canadian cuisine."

Oh, the horror!
 
WASHINGTON (UPI) -The Pentagon annunced today that no US troops would be sent to Minnesota to suppress the fighting. Secretary of Defense Hamilton was quoted as saying, "This war appears to be a matter between France and Norway."
 
Brown said:
Hey, you know what two words don't go together?

"Canadian cuisine."

Oh, the horror!
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So now we've skipped straight to war crimes? Doesn't anyone pay attention to the Geneva convention anymore?
 
I will immediately counter attack by getting together with my friends and crossing the boarder into Windsor. Once there we will fan out and take control of such strategic points as the casino and strip joints. I am sure that we can hold out for months until Minnesota is free, or we run out of money…..Or they run out of beer.
 
South Dakota has sealed it's border with Minnesota. There was no real reason to do this, we just needed to give the South Dakota National Guard something to do.
 
Denise said:
OMG. Little Falls has fallen. This is no joke, help us now!
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We are on the way! I just need to work out the exchange rate so I can figure out how many lap dances I can afford.
 
Shoot! I just saw Geraldo on the road. This is getting serious folks. Thanks to God that I am posting from the basement. I hope the Canadian Marines don't come in my house.
 
Denise said:
Shoot! I just saw Geraldo on the road. This is getting serious folks. Thanks to God that I am posting from the basement. I hope the Canadian Marines don't come in my house.
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Put a sign in your window "No beer". They'll move on. And for god's sake don't wear plaid.
 
Cripes, first they send us their crappy weather, then they come in and invade our state. And don't get me started about William Shatner.

Fortunately, the "no beer" sign is repelling the invaders. They go doddering off, asking passers by where they can get another two-four, whatever that means.

We have recruited a whole bunch of "martyrs"" to attack the Zionist Canadians. They of course don't know that they are "martyrs," but we plan to tell them next week, by mail, after they have attacked the Canadians.

In addition, I have decided to grow my hair long, paint my face blue, ride around on a horse and pontificate about my "freedom." For no damn reason.
 
Crap. We've stretched our supply lines past how far we can go in a pickup without having to gas up.

What the crap are we doing in Minnesota anyway???

I wanted somewhere warm.

Anyway, we got a shipment of pickeral and some back bacon. No stinkin lutefish is gonna stop us now.
 
Brown said:
The first wave, it was...

(sob)

Oh, God, it was horrible.

It was geese. A flock of geese. Canadian geese. Loud, obnoxious geese that kept us from sleeping and that crapped all over our cars. Oh, the shock. Oh, the awe.

For the love of all that is holy, why does the Geneva Convention not condemn such air strikes?

And then came the leaflets. Oh Christ, the leaflets. They were half written in a foreign language (perhaps French) and they urged us to "Take off, eh?"
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Ha! This report is clearly fraudulent. If you check your Audobon guide, you'll find that it's Canada geese , not Canadian geese.

This is a sure bar bet, by the way.
 
(And now please stand by for a message for the government of the province of Québec)

Ha ha ha!

Maintenant rien ne peut nous arrêter! Si jamais vous résistez, on va toute vous bombarder avec notre poutine qui nous reste en stock (personne icitte quyé assez fou pour manger ça). Pis si jamais ça fonctionne pas, on va envoyer la poutine italienne tab¢¤@nak! Cr¤ss que ça sa a du pétant!
 
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