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Best Comeback Ever

vIQleS said:
I was talking to an acquantance of mine the other day and she was about to use some 'rescue remedy' (we were taking a test).

I made some comment about how it was some sort of quack medicine (I think I said that she should talk to someone else in the club who's also into "wacko 'remedies'")

She said "I'm a naturopath - so I believe in that sort of thing" to which I replied

"I'm a scientist - I don't have to believe in anything - it just works."

Zing!
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Great comeback! It reminds me of something Penn said once regarding having to believe in "alternative" treatments for them to work; "Funny, you never hear that about penicillin."
 
Foolmewunz said:
The best of those is totally apocryphal, sometimes told about Churchill and sometimes about GB Shaw.....

Subject male, quite sloshed and returning from the restroom to the reception...

Ladywhoosit: Sir George (Sir Winston), you're a disgrace! You're penis is sticking out!

Sir Winston(Sir George): (looking down and giving himself the once over) Don't flatter yourself madam, it's only hanging out.
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Apocryphal or not, I like that even better.

And I doubt that Churchill was ever sober tomorrow.
 
Robber to Jack Benny - "Your money or your life!"

Long pause.......

Robber - "Well???!"

Jack Benny - "I'm thinking it over!"




One of the biggest laughs on radio, that one!
 
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: "Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you have one."

Churchill's reply: "Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend second - if there is one."
 
I was walking my dogs a while back. They were doing their business, and I was waiting for them to finish. A guy approached me and started yelling.

"So you are just going to stand there while your dog makes a mess. You are sick blah blah blah."

I calmly wait for Cooper to finish, and when he does, I whip out a plastic bag from my pocket, and I picked up the mess.

As I tie the bag, I say:

"I'm sorry sir; I don't speak jackass."

I then walked away while he stood there mouth agape.
 
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Myriad said:
That reminds me, I keep meaning to finish mine, so I can finally have FM radio.

Respectfully,
Myriad
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If you need an oscilloscope to calibrate it, let me know and I'll send you the one I built. That is if you are not in Toronto, as I'm worried about what has happened to the capacitors after 25 years and I am scared to plug it in. :scared:
 
I can't believe nobody has posted this (probably apocryphal) gem:

The Earl of Sandwich: "Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox."

John Wilkes: "That will depend, my Lord, on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."
 
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