• Quick note - the problem with Youtube videos not embedding on the forum appears to have been fixed, thanks to ZiprHead. If you do still see problems let me know.

Attachment Therapy

clarsct

Illuminator
C
Joined
Mar 14, 2005
Messages
4,867
I have seen Randi declare this a woo theory, but I didn't have much evidence to go on. I am getting married in about 6 mo. or so, and after that I will probably be looking to start a family, so the subject of child rearing has become of interest to me. Being somewhat convinced that just because Randi, or anyone else, says it, doesn't mean it's right, I searched around a bit. First I ran into this link:

http://childparenting.about.com/cs/emotionalhealth/a/attachment_3.htm

Which describes the therapy as such:
Quote:
------------------

1. Communicate your love to your child in word and deed each and every day.
2. Listen for the feelings behind your child's verbal communication and respond to those feelings in an accepting way.
3. Show respect for your child's unique ideas and opinions.
4. Discuss mutual goals and plans with your child frequently. Go over the next day's schedule at bedtime. Make sure everyone knows where they will be going, what they will be doing, and what each person's responsibility will be.
5. Notify your child personally when plans change suddenly.
6. Continue to touch your child affectionately with hugs, pats on the back, sitting together to read, etc.
7. Model and teach courtesy, patience, kindness, thoughtfulness, honesty, loyalty, responsibility, fairness, and forgiveness.
8. Give your child age-appropriate responsibilities at home.
9. Recognize, acknowledge, and praise your child when he maks an effort to do something good -good school papers, obeying parents, helping at home.
10. Avoid destructive expressions of anger such as insulting, sarcasm, shaming, yelling, or spanking the child. Use Discipline with Dignity
----------------
End Quote

Seems ok to me, so far, but then I find this:

http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread77028/pg1

Which paints a different picture, a rather dark and draconic one, at that.

Then I run across this link:

http://members.tripod.com/~radclass/slide01.html

POPUP ALERT, BTW. Anyway, this page seems to say that just about anything wrong with your child can be cured with AD Therapy. Hmmmm.....Sounds suspicious to me.

So, any opinions out there? I'm no psychologist, by any means, but if someone is a psychologist/psychiarist, I'm willing to listen.
 
Hi clarsct,

Don't have much time to post today, but what can be confusing is that there is a difference between attachment theory and attachment therapy.

Attachment theory is a mainstream developmental psychological means of understanding the way that one's relationships develop in light of early attachment formation, in the first couple of years of life - see Bowlby, and others.

Attachment therapy, or at least the versions of it I've read about, is a horrific and cruel excuse to be barbaric to a much older child who is deemed to have "damaged attachment"; this can involve various horrible practices including 'rebirth', verbal and physical abuse, which in at least one case has led to the death of the child in question (Shermer wrote a Scientific American column on this once, but I don't have a link). As well as being dangerous, this therapy is completely without evidence of efficacy.

Your quote from the childparenting site sounds much more like some fairly good advice on how to stimulate the formation of secure attachment in young children, miles away from the pseudoscientific and cruel practices of attachment therapy. This has to be a general parenting ethos, though, from the beginning, rather than a short term 'intervention'. Not all childhood problems can be traced to attachment difficulties either, though generally it can be helpful to bear the idea of attachment in mind when working with children.

A link to a short article on attachment theory: http://psychology.about.com/library/weekly/aa120102a.htm
 
Nucular said:
(Shermer wrote a Scientific American column on this once, but I don't have a link)
Click to expand...
Death by Theory
After 40 minutes of struggling, Candace went silent. Ponder rebuked her: "Quitter, quitter!" Someone joked about performing a C-section, while Ponder patted a dog that meandered by. After 30 minutes of silence, Watkins remarked, "Let's look at this twerp and see what's going on. Is there a kid in there somewhere? There you are lying in your own vomit. Aren't you tired?"
Click to expand...
Y'know, Michael is not an emotional writer, but even a straight description of the events of this case will get you.
 
clarsct said:


1. Communicate your love to your child in word and deed each and every day.
2. Listen for the feelings behind your child's verbal communication and respond to those feelings in an accepting way.
3. Show respect for your child's unique ideas and opinions.
4. Discuss mutual goals and plans with your child frequently. Go over the next day's schedule at bedtime. Make sure everyone knows where they will be going, what they will be doing, and what each person's responsibility will be.
5. Notify your child personally when plans change suddenly.
6. Continue to touch your child affectionately with hugs, pats on the back, sitting together to read, etc.
7. Model and teach courtesy, patience, kindness, thoughtfulness, honesty, loyalty, responsibility, fairness, and forgiveness.
8. Give your child age-appropriate responsibilities at home.
9. Recognize, acknowledge, and praise your child when he maks an effort to do something good -good school papers, obeying parents, helping at home.
10. Avoid destructive expressions of anger such as insulting, sarcasm, shaming, yelling, or spanking the child. Use Discipline with Dignity
----------------
End Quote

Let's take these one at a time.

1. Definitely.

2. With limits -- unacceptable behavior is unacceptable. Just make sure the kid knows it's the behavior that is in question, not them personally.

3. Again, within limits. Wrong is wrong, and must be corrected in applicable manner.

4. I see no real problems with this -- it lets both sides show an interest in each others' lives.

5. Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't. If we're talking about that big family outing that's cancelled because of some emergency, explain while you can. If the network pre-empts 'Spongebob Squarepants' because of a 'Friends' reunion show, don't push it -- just switch over to Spike TV and let 'em watch rasslin'...

6. Agreed, with the proviso that certain touching is a no-no, that certain people touching in any way is a no-no, and when the kid decides that they're getting 'too big' for certain parent-child intimacies, well, ya gotta let 'em go sometimes.

7. This may be the hardest one for a parent to do.

8. Absolutely -- they must learn that life isn't a free ride, and that everyone's gotta kick in.

9. True -- but don't go overboard with the gushing sugary-sweetness.

10. I'll sort of agree here -- but a smack on the butt is probably going to be necessary now and then.

Naturally, being of the single/childless type, I may be so far out in left field I'm not even in the stadium parking lot any more. Other opinions on this subject are more than welcome.
Click to expand...
 
clarsct, Nucular already pointed out the differences in terminology, but I'd like to add that the first link (to About.com) in your post (which you said "describes the therapy as such") has nothing to do with what Randi commented on. In fact, that article never uses the word "therapy." It says "Attachment Parenting" (whatever that is). The second link in your post, however, is exactly what Randi was referring to, a dangerous (as Nucular pointed out) and bizarre pseudo-therapeutic practice called Attachment Therapy. As for the third reference, I don't know how valid the concept of Attachment Disorder is, but in any case, their recommended therapies sound rather positive, or at the very least, tame and harmless (focussing on providing love, affection, attention, and bonding activities, not weirdness), and again, that is not the topic Randi discussed.

I'm not defending Randi here, because, as you said, just because he, or anyone, says something, doesn't mean it's true, but it's also important that your examples be relevant to the actual subject that the person you're quoting has commented on. Otherwise, you might be misrepresenting someone's statements by claiming they criticized something they haven't.
 
Attachment Parenting is yet another different thing. It's a parenting style advocated by Barry Sears, among many others. It's probably best known for being 'child-led' parenting. It's fairly controversial because it includes things like breastfeeding until the child weans themself (conceivably until the child is quite old - when you hear about someone breastfeeding a 4 year old, it's a pretty safe bet they are an attachment parent), and co-sleeping. Attachment parenting is also firmly against 'cry it out' sleep training.

I'm not familiar with any research literature on outcomes of attachment parenting, but the aspects I outlined above are the controversial ones.
 
For those interested, the L&O episode, "Born Again" is currently showing on TNT. It's based off the case previously mentioned.

Heavily based, might I add.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top Bottom