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Atheist Funerals

My grandfather was an atheist. No religious personnel in attendance, just family. There are plenty of inspirational/memory type quotes that aren't religious or don't need to be interpreted as such that can be read at atheist funerals.

My mother was a Unitarian Universalist & atheist & her service (she was cremated, as was my grandfather) was held at a UU church. Once again, very little overt religiosity. Use favorite music, quotes from favorite books, etc.
 
I chucked my father's ashes out of a Cessna at 5000ft, which was quite tricky to do, believe it or not. It involved bits of string and lots of sticky tape. The pilot Bob held the end of one piece while I held the makeshift handle and unscrewed the cap on the plastic jar. If anyone else wants to do this, I'd recommend gloves. Your hands get cold real fast when you stick them out the window of a plane.

I was amazed how big and heavy the ashes were.
 
Soapy Sam said:
Senex- Tell us more about "creamation".
They put you through a blender, then burn you?
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Actually it's the other way round. A responsible crematorium first of all burns the body (and casket if used) and then runs the ashes through a bone mill, after removing any metal, so no fragments of bone are left, then gives the milled ashes to the NOK.
 
Soapy Sam said:
Senex- Tell us more about "creamation".
They put you through a blender, then burn you?
Click to expand...


"Those who love the Law and eating Hostess Twinkies should never watch either one being made." - Fnord.

(Pleeez nominate this one for a Pith Award!)
 
My father was an atheist and he died and did not want a funeral, however he was so well known in the community that numerous people were upset that there was no funeral so we had a "celebration of his life". Not too many atheists attended but there was no preacher, no group prayer and in fact the only ceremony was the Mayor came by with a proclamation he presented my mother. It really wasn't for him though it was for the people who knew him.
 
When my wife's grandfather died, the husband of one of his other granddaughters, a Baptist minister, was asked to do the ceremony. However, he was cautioned to avoid any religious talk of any kind -- not Jesus, not God, not life after death, nothing. The deceased and his wife weren't exactly atheists, but they hated religion and saw no use for it, and many of their relatives had similar views.

The preacher actually did a very good job with his secular observance, focusing on our memories of the loved one rather than on any supernatural intervention. He quoted from secular literature rather than the Bible, and gave a very comforting eulogy without ever resorting to prayer.
 
Ivor the Engineer said:
I chucked my father's ashes out of a Cessna at 5000ft, which was quite tricky to do, believe it or not. It involved bits of string and lots of sticky tape. The pilot Bob held the end of one piece while I held the makeshift handle and unscrewed the cap on the plastic jar. If anyone else wants to do this, I'd recommend gloves. Your hands get cold real fast when you stick them out the window of a plane.

I was amazed how big and heavy the ashes were.
Click to expand...

My mother-in-law's ashes have been sitting in a cardboard box on my wife's dresser for almost a year now. There was a time when I would have been really, seriously creeped out by this, but I'm cool with it. She wants to keep her mother's ashes close to her -- who am I to argue? Everyone has their own way of dealing with death.
 
Dogdoctor said:
My father was an atheist and he died and did not want a funeral, however he was so well known in the community that numerous people were upset that there was no funeral so we had a "celebration of his life". Not too many atheists attended but there was no preacher, no group prayer and in fact the only ceremony was the Mayor came by with a proclamation he presented my mother. It really wasn't for him though it was for the people who knew him.
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Ditto for my parents. In each case we put together a photo-montage of their life and and held a wake with a great deal of telling stories of their lives, plus booze and refreshments.

I have to admit I do like Scott Adams' idea for his funeral service - everyone has to tell a dirty joke.
 
aggle-rithm said:
My mother-in-law's ashes have been sitting in a cardboard box on my wife's dresser for almost a year now. There was a time when I would have been really, seriously creeped out by this, but I'm cool with it. She wants to keep her mother's ashes close to her -- who am I to argue? Everyone has their own way of dealing with death.
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The time to worry is when your wife insists on bringing her mother's ashes on holiday.:)
 
I have been thinking of this recently. My husband is luke warm Methodist , I am strong atheist. I would rather not have anything religious, but I'll be dead and not care. If a religious funeral comforts my hubby and family...hmmm..I don't know....it's quite a conumdrum. I went to a funeral of a witty cynical (maybe) atheist that was full of religion (for his mom's sake). When all of us his friends got back to the car, the first words said were, "Well Karl would have HATED that!" Not something I'd like said after my funeral. Sorta cheapens the memory of the deceased.
 
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Nankay, just remember funerals aren't for the dead. The dead can no longer be hurt or helped. They are for those who survive and have feelings that need to be dealt with. Once you are dead, you won't be around to care about what people say or do.
 
So what you are saying are that I my wife is strongly religious and I am anti-religious then if my wife dies then it is OK to have a non religious funeral?
 
My aunt died a couple of years ago, and we had a secular funeral. It was good, talking by a few people who knew her, a variety of music she liked, and so o. All in all a good funeral, as funerals go.

Personally, I would like to steal GreyICE's idea and be in the audience. I would also like it to be fancy dress, and a selection of music ranging from Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees, to Knock on Wood, and a number of other somewhat cliche hits.

I would however, like the following read out, with my name in place of Ozymandias:

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
 
rjh01 said:
So what you are saying are that I my wife is strongly religious and I am anti-religious then if my wife dies then it is OK to have a non religious funeral?
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If your wife has no religious friends or family that should be fine.
 
I've been to my last funeral, or so I hope - I need to develop enough backbone to say 'no'.

One of these days (soon), I need to draw up my last will and testament and state that I want to be burned as soon as possible after death, that the ashes should be discarded, that I do not want there to be a memorial service of any kind, and that anyone wanting to part with some money should make a donation to their local humane society.

The time to say nice things about me is while I'm still alive.
 
Ivor the Engineer said:
The time to worry is when your wife insists on bringing her mother's ashes on holiday.:)
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My partner's ashes are in the cardboad box that they came in, on one of my bookcases, acting as a bookend.

He loved to read, so I think he would have appreciated the gesture.

His family and I decided that enough was happening after he died to defer any decision on what to do with his ashes. The discussion and decision may very well be deferred until my death.

He never made it to Paris or many other cities that he wanted to visit, so I'll probably sneak some ashes along if I ever travel in that direction again. He isn't alive, he'll never know, but he remains for a while longer in my memory and I'll be damned if I can resist the opportunity to break some laws in the name of whimsy. I imagine his family will want some or all of the ashes - if I'm given any, I'll sprinkle some around the Louvre, throw some off of the Eiffel tower, and mix the rest into the rich soil of a beautiful garden. It doesn't matter, but it would please me.

For now, he holds up some of the books he loved.
 
My father was a chemist and a life-long, devout atheist. He hated religion. One of his goals in life was to leave the minimal mess and expense behind. Even though he lived to 95 years, and we had plenty of time to arrange things to his wishes, it was very difficult.

We tried to enable a burying of his naked corpse on our farm, but it wasn't allowed...mostly because there was no pre-existing cemetary on the land.
He was opposed to cremation because of the foolish expense, and the net loss of energy.
Why waste all that fossil fuel to dispose of a corpse? (Not a sentimental guy)

Anyway, after exhausting all possible alternatives, we were forced to go with cremation.
It would have annoyed him to know that it cost over 1000 dollars; required a long drive, and used a lot of propane. We also had to pick up the ashes at the creamatory. They wern't allowed to simply dump them in the trash.

It is strange how difficult it is to leave this life without leaving a mess behind...at least in the U.S.

If one really wanted to have the minimal impact, as my dad did, you would have to start struggling for it years before death. Even so, it would be nearly impossible to have that last, humble wish fullfilled. I find that to be fundamentaly disturbing. There should be some sort of net energy gain when one's body is returned to the earth.

I believe that I read that Sweden was allowing some sort of composting funeral option. It was a radical, fringe option, though one would think it would be the norm.

When I got the ashes from my dad, there were chunks in it. This was confusing until I recalled that he had chunks of a hi-temp porcelin crucible in his body from a bad experiment when he was a teenager. They made it through the heat intact.

When my mother was torched, we went to get her ashes, and I asked for the titanium.
(she had hip replacements) The funeral guys got very nervous about the request, and couldn't explain to me where the titanium went. They were $10,000 parts. Gone.
 
Gurdur said:
Actually it's the other way round. A responsible crematorium first of all burns the body (and casket if used) and then runs the ashes through a bone mill, after removing any metal, so no fragments of bone are left, then gives the milled ashes to the NOK.
Click to expand...

Alas, no sense of morbid humor :(
 
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