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about jesus

10001

Thinker
10001
Joined
Jul 20, 2005
Messages
181
maybe a christian can enlighten me or us(who/what ever you think you might be) with this question.

It is said that... God sent his only son to Earth.

So... does that mean. He already gave birth to Jesus in his heaven then sent Jesus into mary's womb.

or did Jesus become God's son when God impregnated mary ?

Also, christians seem to have a strong hold on the fact that Jesus said he is the son of God. there fore he must be, with his super powers and all. But didn't Jesus say... we are all children of God? which means... anyone can say they are the Son or Daughter of God. Jesus had to say he is/was son of God. Other wise, the statement he made of all humans being children of God is false. Unless he him self was an alien or something...


This brings this thread to two definite assummable conclution.

1. God has a spritual wife hidden in his heaven somewhere. So that lucifer can't get his hands on her.
Maybe thats why God kicked lucifer out. Something going on with his wife and...

2. God could not reproduce, so he had to use a human female.

3. Its all about The 3.
 
You forgot the Planet X option:

On Planet X, Jesus impregnated his own mother.

Actually, if you want to watch a fundamentalist explode with impotent fury, describe the whole event as "the rape of Mary".

Cheers,
TGHO
 
You have stumbled upon one of the great religious debates of human history. The short answer is that it depends on which sect you belong to.

Not all Christians agree that Jesus was divine, as terms like "Children of God" are thrown about quite loosely.

Mark probably didn't think Jesus was divine at all, John clearly did.

The whole "God gets a human woman pregnant and she gives birth to a demigod" part comes from polytheistic Greek mythology. The Greeks had no problem with multiple deities.

Some monotheists claim Jesus was just God, that there's only one of them.

And then you have the trinity. There are three Gods, but really only one God.

Although it's irrelevant, some of the old references to the Old Testament deity YHWH do mention his wife.
 
Actually,

God fell in love with Mary. He got caught cheating by his wife. He wanted to break up his relationship with Mary, but mary got pregnnt. God's wife found this out because of strange energy residue from Unborn jesus's body. God's excuse was that Jesus was meant to save the world, to ease his wifes anger.
But... his wife in the heavens didn't like the idea of lowly human having mighty God's child. She was so so sad. So after a huge fight between God and his wife. Agreement was reached.

have the romans kill him.

The lucifer, watching all this from his hell home, could stand by while his lover God's wife so sad and saw the chance to get even with God by making Jesus, God's son, suffer as much as possible.

Feeling the guilt and sorrow for his son's death. God brought him back from the death.

Now he and his wife lives seprately. thats why Jeus is on his right hand side.
 
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The Great Hairy One said:
You forgot the Planet X option:

On Planet X, Jesus impregnated his own mother.

Actually, if you want to watch a fundamentalist explode with impotent fury, describe the whole event as "the rape of Mary".

Cheers,
TGHO
Click to expand...

Planet X !!!!!!!!!!!!!

So thats where Jesus went after resurection!

I thought he went to America to have a chat with the natives there.

how did he get to the planet X?

probably caght the haileys comet.
 
I have a problem with the claim that the "One True God" can be said to be male. Gender is a function of sexual reproduction, so how can God be said to be male if there is no female god for him to mate with? If we wanted to get technical it would be more proper to call the god of Abraham "she" like a water flea or some other asexual critter.
 
funny thing about asexual God is that... the bible is written by people. and with out the bible... there is no God of christians or muslims etc...

and when they prey...

I am sure they say...

some thing something 'father in heaven' something something.

people and bible refer to God as 'He' all the time. I have never come across God as being 'she' in bibles or when people prey. People don't prey with ' oh my mother in heaven .......'
 
10001 said:
.

people and bible refer to God as 'He' all the time. I have never come across God as being 'she' in bibles or when people prey. People don't prey with ' oh my mother in heaven .......'
Click to expand...
You have missed Goddess worship then - try research. It's a great way to find out stuff -
for example I found your post, started writing my answer and pulled up a starting point in 2.6 minutes:http://www.religioustolerance.org/goddess.htm
Of course, I have experience - without it someone might have needed 4 or 5 minutes.
 
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Like Zygote, I have long thought that giving God a gender is kind of silly. It would be a singular being, after all.
Dawkins is OK with "Him" "His" and "He" just for common usage. "It" sounds kinda alien... But then, God would be an alien of sorts...

Then we have Gnosticism, which saw the OT God as an insane rogue God not to be trusted in any way. JC was supposed to be from the realm of the "real" divine beings....
 
You can drive a Kenworth through God's urethra.*



*If you have a licence.
 
10001 said:
people and bible refer to God as 'He' all the time. I have never come across God as being 'she' in bibles or when people prey. People don't prey with ' oh my mother in heaven .......'
Click to expand...
You should get out more, then, as you would find people praying to God as 'she'!
 
Foster Zygote said:
I have a problem with the claim that the "One True God" can be said to be male. Gender is a function of sexual reproduction, so how can God be said to be male if there is no female god for him to mate with? If we wanted to get technical it would be more proper to call the god of Abraham "she" like a water flea or some other asexual critter.
Click to expand...

And, also, the way that I understand human biology is that the female is the template for the human species (the reason, for example, that men have useless nipples/mammaries). Male characteristics then develop from this female template.

So if "god" created humanity in its image, and originally created only one human without the thought of creating another gender, then maybe someone switched Adam and Eve around in Genesis...
 
Tricky said:
Unless they are TV Evangelists. Then "preying" is completely correct.;)
Click to expand...



hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

the truth comes out...
 
VulcanWay said:
And, also, the way that I understand human biology is that the female is the template for the human species (the reason, for example, that men have useless nipples/mammaries). Male characteristics then develop from this female template.
Click to expand...

Vestigial male nipples are a mammalian feature, not simply a human one. It's likely both sexes had operating secretory glands in the early days, then they became specialised in females.

Which is a long-winded way of saying "Tosh!" :) .

So if "god" created humanity in its image, and originally created only one human without the thought of creating another gender, then maybe someone switched Adam and Eve around in Genesis...
Click to expand...

We're getting a long way from Jebus now, though, aren't we?

The "spare-rib" version of creation has Big-G being, like, really cool and creating Adam to witness and recognise his coolness. Whichsomuch Adam did, bless. But Adam was too much in the image of Big-G, far deeper than just wearing his line of clothes. He wanted a witness to his own coolness. Big-G was down with that, and gave him one. It wasn't in the original spec, but hey. After that, of course, all hell broke loose.
 
CapelDodger said:
The "spare-rib" version of creation has Big-G being, like, really cool and creating Adam to witness and recognise his coolness. Whichsomuch Adam did, bless. But Adam was too much in the image of Big-G, far deeper than just wearing his line of clothes. He wanted a witness to his own coolness. Big-G was down with that, and gave him one. It wasn't in the original spec, but hey. After that, of course, all hell broke loose.
Click to expand...

Wow--I think you're totally channeling Moses (or whoever wrote Genesis)!

Edit: now say "Get your filthy paws off of me, you damn dirty ape!"
 
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And I've always wondered why Ishmael had to bunk with Queequeg...

I guess we'll never know because both authors of these works of fiction are dead.
 
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