A social issue...

[zenith-nadir]

Ever have the hots for a coworker? Ever acted upon it? Do you think it is acceptable or dangerous?

 

[Snide]

Ever have the hots for a coworker? Ever acted upon it? Do you think it is acceptable or dangerous?

Yep. I'm married to her now.

Proceed with caution, of course...

 

[Mycroft]

Ever have the hots for a coworker? Ever acted upon it? Do you think it is acceptable or dangerous?

For many of us work is our primary form of social contact, and if we eliminated those we work with from our pool of prospective mates, we would have little opportunity left.

I think the important thing to remember is that most relationships end without forming a lifetime committment, and that's likely to be the case here too. If you go forward, just be careful to do it in such a way that you're okay working with her afterwards.

 

[BPSCG]

Ever have the hots for a coworker? Ever acted upon it? Do you think it is acceptable or dangerous?

Ow.

Dangerous. At least in my experience.

I was happily married at the time and so was she. I never breathed a hint of it to her or anyone else. She eventually left and moved to the other side of the country when her hubbie got a job there.

My marriage later fell apart for other unrelated reasons. Some years later, so did hers.

I eventually told her how I felt about her and before too long, even though we were a couple of thousand miles apart, we were talking about getting married. We went to Europe together for a couple of weeks, but within a day or so, I saw that while she was still very fond of me, she wasn't in love with me, and the whole trip turned into an unmitigated horror.

We came home, stayed in touch and as friends for a few years until she remarried, at which point I decided that nothing good could come to her from my still being in her life (I asked myself what she would have to tell her new hubbie if he asked who this guy was that she was always emailing - "Oh, a guy I almost married once and who still carries a torch for me..."). At that point I wrote her that it would be best if I didn't write back to her any more, and that was the last contact we ever had with each other.

The good part of this story is that a few years later I met the woman who is now Mrs. BPSCG and we lived happily ever after.

 

[zenith-nadir]

Funny... but I am not the one seeking to boink a coworker...I had read a survey over the weekend which claims that nearly 60% fantasize about it..

 

[Cleon]

I work in IT.
I am male.
I am heterosexual.

So the dating pool in the workplace is somewhat limited for me.

 

[BPSCG]

I work in IT.
I am male.
I am heterosexual.

So the dating pool in the workplace is somewhat limited for me.

C'mon, Cleon, 'fess up. Wasn't this you

I spotted downtown the other day?

No wonder you can't score.

 

[Charlie Monoxide]

Re: Re: A social issue...

Yep. I'm married to her now.

Proceed with caution, of course...

Ditto here, but she was my boss as opposed to a co-worker.

I've been "lucky" much more with co-workers then in any other environment.

Charlie (and subsequently divorced her) Monoxide

 

[DaChew]

Ever have the hots for a coworker? Ever acted upon it? Do you think it is acceptable or dangerous?

Married her. Kept it quiet right up to the point we were married. Many of my co-workers thought the wedding invitation was a joke.

 

[Cleon]

C'mon, Cleon, 'fess up. Wasn't this you

I spotted downtown the other day?

No wonder you can't score.

Oh, hell no, I don't step foot in Virginia unless forced to.

Besides, I didn't say I can't score, I said the dating pool at work was limited. Hey, in a field that 90% male, where the last 10% are married and/or well-accomplished groin-kickers, there isn't much for a straight guy to do in the way of romance.

Me, I'm dating a doctor.

 

[Camillus]

Them: You'll be the only man in this group of 24 student nurses. Why don't you wait for the next group which has more men in it?

18 year old me: Don't worry, I'll be fine...

Does that answer your question?

 

[Snide]

Married her. Kept it quiet right up to the point we were married. Many of my co-workers thought the wedding invitation was a joke.

Funny. When we announced our engagement, there were several people who didn't know we were dating. Depends on the size of the office, I'm sure, and other things. Probably took people by surprise because we took my own advice...proceed with caution.

Bacck to ZN's point of the survey, I find the number (60%) to seem a little low, depending on your definition of "fantasizing." (If you need to pull a Brad Hamilton for it to be "fantasizing," then maybe...)

 

[Just thinking]

Ever have the hots for a coworker? Ever acted upon it? Do you think it is acceptable or dangerous?

And what happens if it becomes dissolved -- and there's some bitterness? You're going to be still seeing each other at work each and every day.

And people talk.

 

[Snide]

Re: Re: A social issue...

And what happens if it becomes dissolved -- and there's some bitterness? You're going to be still seeing each other at work each and every day.

And people talk.

Well, I consulted my personal guru (Springsteen), with mixed results.

From "The Price You Pay:"

Oh, the price you pay, oh, the price you pay
Now you can't walk away from the price you pay

More recently, from "Leap of Faith:"

It takes a leap of faith to get things going
It takes a leap of faith you gotta show some guts
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
In your heart you must trust

 

[toddjh]

Re: Re: A social issue...

And what happens if it becomes dissolved -- and there's some bitterness?

And what happens if it doesn't dissolve? Then there are conflict of interest issues. What if one of you is in a position of authority? How can your coworkers be sure you're not playing favorites? Depends what kind of work you're in, I guess.

So I'd prefer to keep it on the level of lust. That said...

I work in IT.
I am male.
I am heterosexual.

I work in IT.
I am male.
Due to space limitations, I was placed in an office full of female graphic designers ranging in age from 19 to 35.

Jeremy

 

[The Fool]

I had a sexual relationship with the receptionist in the first place I ever worked. Unfortunately it had to stop when she found out about it.

 

[BPSCG]

Re: Re: Re: A social issue...

I work in IT.
I am male.
Due to space limitations, I was placed in an office full of female graphic designers ranging in age from 19 to 35.

You are my hero.

 

[Regnad Kcin]

Not too long ago I was smitten with a coworker. She and I did some lunches and coffees, but I didn't proceed, since her most recent ex had also been a coworker (at her previous place of employment) and she swore she'd "never do that again."

A couple of months later I left the company, a few months afterwhich I discovered that she and her supervisor were engaged. Since she's (now) his fourth wife, I hardly think it'll last, not that I'm bitter.

 

[zenith-nadir]

I had a sexual relationship with the receptionist in the first place I ever worked. Unfortunately it had to stop when she found out about it.

Damn...that's the first time you've ever made me laugh...it reminds me of a joke...My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.

 

[Hal Bidlack]

The Time: 1978

The Place: McDonalds, Ann Arbor Michigan

I was a young manager, she was the top-rated employee. We dated... we smootched... we married...

and until I lost her to cancer 24 years later, I never smootched another. (actually, I haven't since then either, but that's a function of being repulsive to women, rather than being noble)

If you are young, get a job at McDs. You meet so very many people there. I think 4 weddings came out of that one store in a year.