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What would YOU do as god emperor of North Korea?

Lukraak_Sisser

Philosopher
L
Joined
Aug 20, 2009
Messages
6,009
So, the hypothetical situation occurs. You, as you are now, with all your knowledge and mores and education get whisked off to North Korea, where a group of old men tells you YOU are the new glorious leader.

As long as you play along you get to live like a god, with every decadence indulged. A system is in place to keep aid from the west coming, so all you have to do is keep saying the lines.
Should you deviate from the script at best you'll be forced into exile, but more likely an unfortunate accident will occur.

For me, I don't know. I might try to slowly change the system from within, but so much personal power (provided I don't rock the boat) would act VERY corrupting on me.
 
Lukraak_Sisser said:
So, the hypothetical situation occurs. You, as you are now, with all your knowledge and mores and education get whisked off to North Korea, where a group of old men tells you YOU are the new glorious leader.

As long as you play along you get to live like a god, with every decadence indulged.
Click to expand...

Given the fairly heavy sanctions the place is under and its fairly limited resources I suspect that outside a few specalised areas they may live no better than the american 1%

A system is in place to keep aid from the west coming,
Click to expand...

False of course. Western aid largely shut down some years ago. Chinese aid is more significant.


so all you have to do is keep saying the lines.
Click to expand...

No you don't. They have people to do that for you.

Should you deviate from the script at best you'll be forced into exile, but more likely an unfortunate accident will occur.

For me, I don't know. I might try to slowly change the system from within, but so much personal power (provided I don't rock the boat) would act VERY corrupting on me.
Click to expand...

Changing the system from within is a non starter. The army knowns the stakes its playing for. Comming up with a way to trigger an incerdent with china (Recognise taiwan, invite the dalai lama for tea, steal mao's body, nuke Changchun whatever) might be more effective but that might trigger a rapaid collapse.
 
My first political move would be to make a hole-in-one at Augusta from the helipad of an oil rig in Venezuelan territorial waters.
 
1. Legalise prostitution.
2. Require tithing, in kind.
3. ... actually, I wouldn't have a lot of time for anything else.
 
I would turn the whole country into an online role-playing game world, where subscribers could control real people.
 
I'd spend my time cruising around Pyongyang in my limo, checking out the traffic cops.

pyongyangtraffic.jpg
 
1) Plastic surgery
2) Forged papers
3) Sneak into South Korea
4) Emigrate to USA
5) Join a mainline Protestant church
6) Open a dry cleaning establishment in Waukegan

That's the best way. :)
 
Back slowly away, whistling and trying to look nonchalant. Slip out the back door when nobody is looking. Make my way to the nearest Chinese delegation to plead for safe passage out.
 
"God emperor"? Well, I can tell you one thing right off the bat: I wouldn't transform myself into a giant psychic worm.
 
Do what needs to be done to stay in power and not piss off the military.

Then find a way to offer let's say a half a million dollars in prize money to individuals or entities that can create a clear road map for the transition of North Korea into a prosperous and respected state, while keeping their unique identity.

Get the best game plan possible figured out so a transition can be sold to the military
 
I would schedule frequent field guidance inspections at the Myongyongdae amusement park and commission a monument to DPRK hairstyles, all while upholding the banner of Songun military first politics and the immortal Juche Idea.
 
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While whistling dixie and slipping out the back door would be my most tempting option, I think it would be ultimately irresponsible to let the status quo continue without trying to do somethign about it but don't know what that would be.
One option would be taking the Chinese route to reform: slowly liberalize the economy and open up to trade and foreign investment, advertise your country as the new source of really cheap labor
Another option would be to plan a reverse coup, I have no idea of how I'd pull this off but I'd secretly meet with Chinese, South Korea and US to coordinate what would happen if North Korea collapsed, most importantly the humanitarian aid to a flood of refugees and securing the nuclear facilities and making sure that Chinese and US forces would have distinct responsibilities in this regard and making sure they wouldn't step on each others toes and come into conflict with each other.
Next step would be creating an internal secret committee planing for the collapse but this may be impossible to do without having leaks. We'd have to plan for making simultaneous arrests of key leaders and surrendering to South Korea in exchange for immunity. Or somethign like that.
North Korea will eventually collapse but its anybody's guess when and how that will happen. A couple of things that are contributing to its eventual demise is a more porous border, the infrastructure of the underground railroad including known guards that can be bribed and worked with, cell phones that can communicate directly with South Koreans, and popular South Korean DVDS being smuggled in. Also, kim jung un doesn't have nearly the diety status as his father and grandfather. There aren't books about him, songs about him, movies about him, statues, images, etc.
 
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