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Cont: Dear Users… (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people) Part 11

TragicMonkey said:
I've worked in healthcare for a while now, with surgeons and OR staff for a good stretch of that, and I have to say this stereotype is just meanspirited and inaccurate. It's anesthesiologists who are the swollen-headed jerk-lords. Surgeons are humble by comparison.
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Yet they do very little. The protagonist in an Australian comedy was an anesthesiologist who spent most of the operation on Facebook while the surgeons and nurses did all the real work.
 
Dear User: altering the specs in a significant way re-sets the clock. You can't ask for X on Monday, receive it on Tuesday, then on Wednesday say "oh, I told you wrong, I actually wanted Y...and how long will it take? I've been waiting on this since Monday". No, you haven't. You've been waiting on it since Wednesday. You asked for X and you got it, it's not my fault you asked for the wrong thing. Try to pull that crap at a restaurant, order one thing then change it and complain about the wait. The waiter would stuff that chicken directly into your eyesockets. Just as I, too, shall stuff chicken into your eyesockets if you cross me again. Sharp chicken, with lots of salt and vinegar.
 
I've got users who have refined that into an artform.

"I put in a ticket at 4:59 on Friday before a three day weekend that I need 3 desks setup in the new area. It's 8:01 on Tuesday why aren't the 9 desks I decided just now I really need not ready yet?"

More and more each day I understand why Dennis Nedry wanted to steal those embryos.
 
JoeMorgue said:
I've got users who have refined that into an artform.

"I put in a ticket at 4:59 on Friday before a three day weekend that I need 3 desks setup in the new area. It's 8:01 on Tuesday why aren't the 9 desks I decided just now I really need not ready yet?"

More and more each day I understand why Dennis Nedry wanted to steal those embryos.
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Response: Have you paid for them yet? Nothing happens until you transfer $XXX from your cost centre to ours to pay for this. Those illegal office workers are not cheap any more now they have closed the border in Texas!
 
Well, it took about thirty hours of mind-bending complex work with the database but this week I managed to achieve that sweetest satisfaction a data monkey can have: I was able to prove that I was right all along and -- more importantly-- absolutely everyone else was wrong. So wrong. And I have all the data to prove it, exhaustively. I even got to write out several paragraphs of polite informative explanation (aka gloating). Of course the reward for all this is simply being given more work but I'm right, my numbers were and are splendidly correct, and they're mine, all mine! Mwah hah hah, ha ha! *hawk screech*
 
TragicMonkey said:
Well, it took about thirty hours of mind-bending complex work with the database but this week I managed to achieve that sweetest satisfaction a data monkey can have: I was able to prove that I was right all along and -- more importantly-- absolutely everyone else was wrong. So wrong. And I have all the data to prove it, exhaustively. I even got to write out several paragraphs of polite informative explanation (aka gloating). Of course the reward for all this is simply being given more work but I'm right, my numbers were and are splendidly correct, and they're mine, all mine! Mwah hah hah, ha ha! *hawk screech*
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You know you wasted your time trying to convince anyone but yourself, don't you. They have long moved on to the next pointless report request: How many corporate angels can dance on the head of a CEO's pin.
 
I can see an argument for not booting an operating system where there is faulty storage (Windows, I'm looking at you): it wouldn't do to silently ignore a critical device.

But not being able to start a recovery environment is a PITA, when other operating systems' live CD/flash drive will let me analyse, and avoid the defective drive.

So, if you have an HP Stream, or similar, with it's tawdry 64 GB (or even 32) eMMC chip, which fails, you'll need to de-solder it if you want to reinstall, assuming there is an M.2 or SATA option.
 
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Norman Alexander said:
You know you wasted your time trying to convince anyone but yourself, don't you. They have long moved on to the next pointless report request: How many corporate angels can dance on the head of a CEO's pin.
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No, this time is different, this time the higher-ups will appreciate my brilliance and shower me with rewards. Not like every other time at this job, or other jobs in this company, or other jobs in other companies, or other jobs in other companies in other industries, or every other point in my entire life since leaving school.
 
TragicMonkey said:
No, this time is different, this time the higher-ups will appreciate my brilliance and shower me with rewards. Not like every other time at this job, or other jobs in this company, or other jobs in other companies, or other jobs in other companies in other industries, or every other point in my entire life since leaving school.
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Sending you my best wishes for a quick recovery.
 
TragicMonkey said:
Just twenty more years until retirement! Assuming there are no negative changes made to Social Security and Medicare.
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I mentioned to my former boss's boss, a lovely lady, that I was counting down the last 100 days before my environment.

She said: "That's very restrained, I've been counting down since I entered the workforce!"

:D

(I put a link in my email footer to an online count down, apparently this annoyed a couple of my colleagues, but hey! at least they can't say that I didn't warn them.)
 
The ticket I got this morning:

"Good morning. I have a new employee this morning. He does not have a [Redacted name of common program] icon on his desktop. Can you help with this?

Thank you,
[Redacted]"

Yeah that's super. Don't go do anything crazy like TELL ME THE PERSON'S NAME OR ANYTHING.
 
Years ago when I was working in the mines in Qld, we did computerised remote fluid level monitoring on the mine sites (diesel, water, air quality etc) and we got one of those- from the general 'company email' they sent us a notification they couldn't access their tank levels....
No name, no mine, no tank numbers, just 'we can't access the tank levels'

At the time we had literally thousands of tanks being monitored at dozens of mines, with each minesite having access to only its own tanks data, but the company headquarters could access all of them...

So someone, somewhere, in an organisation with probably tens of thousands of people, had an issue...
Sighs....
 
Not directly IT related but I'm onsite for an unrelated issue and they are installing a panic button for the security alarm at the front desk.

Which wouldn't be a problem exact the button is the exact same shape and size as the "buzz you into the door" button and is being installed RIGHT NEXT to said button and in all my years here I've never seen the front desk girl LOOK at the button to buzz someone in, just reach down and press it. Sure one button is red and one is white, but as I said the original button is only pressed by touch, they never look for it.

..... oh this gonna be good.
 
JoeMorgue said:
Not directly IT related but I'm onsite for an unrelated issue and they are installing a panic button for the security alarm at the front desk.

Which wouldn't be a problem exact the button is the exact same shape and size as the "buzz you into the door" button and is being installed RIGHT NEXT to said button and in all my years here I've never seen the front desk girl LOOK at the button to buzz someone in, just reach down and press it. Sure one button is red and one is white, but as I said the original button is only pressed by touch, they never look for it.

..... oh this gonna be good.
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The first time some crazed gunman is outside the door, someone is going to open it...
 
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