What more can you tell to your child in life?

[Brainster]

Polonius' advice to Laertes always seemed to sum it up rather well, although the modern kids might need to be told that he didn't mean literal hoops of steel.

 

[AlexPontik]

let me add as example my experience.

I grew up in Greece, near to the coast, so in the summers, we went swimming almost daily.
The way I learned to swim without help (floaters of any kind), is my father took me to the sea, and said "swim and I am here if you need me".
And while I tried as an idiot to move my feet and arms, he gave me guidance when I asked for it.
After I learned to swim with practice, my parents started trusting me, so they would sleep in the shore while we where on the beach.
This would happen even though there were occasions when I drunk water (because I tried something further than I could do).

When you drink water, all words disappear, because nothing matters but what you do in the moment, in order not to drown.
This phrase to adults sounds scary, but to a little kid, it is only what seems to be happening.
And having grown from then, it still holds so. Words fails when you need to act, so "have fun, and be careful".

and if you think you are allowed to be immoral with this phrase...think again!

 

[bruto]

Stick to the basics.
Never play cards with a man named 'Doc'.
Never eat at a place called Mom's.
Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.

A perennially useful set of rules, to which I would add the groaning chorus members of my family got used to uttering in front of the TV, year after year: Never blackmail a murderer!

 

[Gord_in_Toronto]

Do not ignore Lassie. If she is whining, barking and pulling at your trousers leg. She probably knows where Jimmie is.

 

[Ulf Nereng]

Don't be a believer, be an understander.

 

[Roboramma]

I like the philosophy expressed by the OP.

I'm less of a fan of "be careful". When I was a kid that's one of the few things that my parents could say that I'd completely ignore. The risks I didn't take were simply the ones I was afraid to take. I may be wrong, but I think this is probably true of most kids, they are as careful as their own innate fears make them.

Making them aware of dangers that they may have overlooked might be useful though.

ETA: Here's a little anecdote from my childhood about "be careful". When I was six I wanted to go play outside. As I was running out the door my mother told me to put on shoes, but I refused. We argued for a bit, but I eventually promised to be careful, and she let me go out barefoot.
So, I walked down the path behind our house and turned left at the street. There I found a broken beer bottle. This looked like fun! I jumped over it. Great thrill! I jumped over it again. The thrills just kept coming with every leap. My younger sister showed up, and saw what I was doing and told me that I was crazy and to stop. I told her that it was fine, I was good at jumping. Then I landed on the broken glass. My sister started crying and ran home screaming. I hopped home with a nice trail of blood behind me. Happily while there was a lot of blood no serious harm accrued and my foot healed up fine. At no point did my promise to be careful even cross my mind. I didn't feel that I was blatantly breaking that promise. I felt that I was being careful.

 

[AlexPontik]

I like the philosophy expressed by the OP.

I'm less of a fan of "be careful". When I was a kid that's one of the few things that my parents could say that I'd completely ignore. The risks I didn't take were simply the ones I was afraid to take. I may be wrong, but I think this is probably true of most kids, they are as careful as their own innate fears make them.

Making them aware of dangers that they may have overlooked might be useful though.

This is what "be careful" means, that you take into account only what you are afraid, your parents cannot be careful for you.
Out of the things that you parents tell you, you will consider only the things that make sense. If your parents telling you things which don't make sense, well they don't make sense to you and you don't do them.
Making sense of things at any time happens with avoiding risks, which you are afraid to take at the time, and taking risks, which you are not afraid to take at the time. For the latter, when you take risks and fail, you learn to be afraid of doing exactly the same thing as you did.

ETA: Here's a little anecdote from my childhood about "be careful". When I was six I wanted to go play outside. As I was running out the door my mother told me to put on shoes, but I refused. We argued for a bit, but I eventually promised to be careful, and she let me go out barefoot.
So, I walked down the path behind our house and turned left at the street. There I found a broken beer bottle. This looked like fun! I jumped over it. Great thrill! I jumped over it again. The thrills just kept coming with every leap. My younger sister showed up, and saw what I was doing and told me that I was crazy and to stop. I told her that it was fine, I was good at jumping. Then I landed on the broken glass. My sister started crying and ran home screaming. I hopped home with a nice trail of blood behind me. Happily while there was a lot of blood no serious harm accrued and my foot healed up fine. At no point did my promise to be careful even cross my mind. I didn't feel that I was blatantly breaking that promise. I felt that I was being careful.

you were careful, apparently getting cut with broken glass doesn't bother you.
You didn't mention in your message, how your mother reacted and what happened in the future? Did you continue to jump on broken glass, if yes, do you still do it?
If you do, how many other people want to step on broken glass with you to have fun together?
If you don't, why did you stop, you said it was thrilling for you, why isn't it thrilling now?

And the reason why I am asking these questions, is that humans built common sense when they use their senses commonly, so that they don't harm others or themselves. And on the latter, finding out what harms you or not, you will need to try something first, unless you are afraid of the risk involved, in which case you avoid it.

 

[Roboramma]

you were careful, apparently getting cut with broken glass doesn't bother you.

I was lucky not to have any serious injury, but while I don't remember the pain I'm sure it bothered me at the time, just not as much as my sister and mother.

You didn't mention in your message, how your mother reacted and what happened in the future?

My mother took the garden hose and a roll of paper towel and cleaned my wound. I remember her screaming when she first saw all the blood, but afterward she didn't get angry or anything.

Did you continue to jump on broken glass, if yes, do you still do it?

No, I think I learned my lesson about jumping on broken glass that day. I just don't think my mother's advice to be careful had any effect either way.

If you don't, why did you stop, you said it was thrilling for you, why isn't it thrilling now?

It wasn't the jumping on broken glass that was fun, even I didn't enjoy that part. It was the jumping over it that I enjoyed.
I still like thrilling things that have a little danger involved in them, but I'm probably a little smarter about what risks to take than I used to be.

And the reason why I am asking these questions, is that humans built common sense when they use their senses commonly, so that they don't harm others or themselves. And on the latter, finding out what harms you or not, you will need to try something first, unless you are afraid of the risk involved, in which case you avoid it.

Absolutely, I agree.

 

[AlexPontik]

It wasn't the jumping on broken glass that was fun, even I didn't enjoy that part. It was the jumping over it that I enjoyed.
I still like thrilling things that have a little danger involved in them, but I'm probably a little smarter about what risks to take than I used to be.

being smart about what risks one takes is different than being careful?
You sound to me like now you are having fun, and try to be careful, which during that instance when you were young you weren't, no?

 

[MinnesotaBrant]

I think my kid is all of those things at one time or the other. Good kid might be afraid of punishment. Bad kid might be angry and frustrated. Selfish child has probably had stuff taken from the so makes sure that their needs are met first before anyone elses. All these kids are "good" in my book