Zen Chi Relaxerciser

[Brian-M]

I found the strangest stupidest "exercise" machine in a second hand store today. The box it was in seemed a few years old, but I don't think it'd ever been used. The cloth cover (to prevent it rubbing your skin raw) was still sealed in it's original plastic.

It's called the Zen Chi Relaxerciser.

To use it, you lie down, rest your feet on it and set the timer. The machine then vibrates slightly while continuously moving your legs left and right over a distance of about 3cm (a bit more than an inch).

Supposedly this "exercises all joints in the human body".

Checking the internet after I got home (no, I didn't waste my money buying it) I found a website selling them for $286 brand new. The same site also sells other quality merchandise, such as a reflexology machine, and cell-phone radiation shielding. According to the website...

The beneficial effects of Chi (energy) stimulating exercise are now within the reach of every household.

Do you suffer from lack of exercise, stress, back pain, poor circulation, nervous tension or menstrual pain?

If so the Zen Chi Relaxerciser machine can help alleviate the symptoms of these ailments.

The Zen Chi Relaxerciser machine is a device used to stimulate the body in order to improve one's health.

It produces a motion through the recumbent body, similar to a swimming fish, which opens the vertebrae alleviating stress and tension on the spinal column.

And goes on to say...

The Zen Chi machine's rhythmic motion is core driven, producing a metrical displacement which sends a balanced energy wave through the body. This unique wave-like motion replicates exercise and promotes the flow of blood to capillary banks in all extremities of the body, restoring supply to areas that may have suffered poor circulation.

Body detoxification is improved via enhanced lymphatic circulation and abdominal peristalsis (involuntary digestive tract muscles), which results in a higher metabolic rate.

These boosts to the anatomical system will assist to relieve the symptoms of:

* Lethargy
* Digestion imbalance
* Insomnia
* Weight problems
* Stress and tension
* Aches and pains
* Arthritic pain
* Lack of exercise
* Poor posture

Fifteen minutes on the Zen Chi Relaxerciser machine is equivalent to walking 4.5 kilometres!

Yes, because we all know that a machine shifting your legs side-to-side while you take a nap is very much like walking.

There's more, but I won't wast your time listing the rest of the claims (if you want to learn more about this useless device, click here).

Just for fun, here's the list of warnings...

• Pregnant women, patients with a serious heart disease, and persons experiencing a recent operation or bone fracture SHOULD NOT use the Zen Chi Relaxerciser.
• Children should use only under adult supervision.
• Do not use immediately after eating.
• Do not use under the influence of alcohol.
• Stop your exercises immediately if feeling dizzy or uncomfortable.
• Do not twist your body while the Zen Chi Relaxerciser is in use.
• Do not move the Zen Chi Relaxerciser while in use.

 

[Bikewer]

One for the museum of quackery, I would think. I wonder how much money is spent annually on such gizmos?
I have a book at home on the various new-age and other lunacy from some years ago. They devote a whole chapter to various gizmos that were for sale including the "brain tune-up machines" offered by "John-David, PHD."
I remember the ads for those in the back of pop-science rags...

 

[alphagaia]

Ancient Chinese secret exercise machine. You know the Chinese have been using it for centuries, now the wonders of the far east can work out all your joints in the confronts of your own home !

Sorry, whenever I see produces like that I hear an infomercial in my head.