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Which craft?

Charlie in Dayton

Rabid radioactive stargazer and JREF kid
Joined
Aug 3, 2001
Messages
1,086
...so it all started with my e-mail...

I was plowing through the inbox, mercilessly consigning helpless electro-missives to their doom in the trash folder, when one of them caught my eye with its plaintive message...

Subject: How To Cast Effective Spells Easily...

Apparently, it was my last chance to buy a book of exactly how to do it. My curiosity whetted (especially whether or not they offered bells and candles), I decided to take the plunge and see what was what...

First of all, apparently there's a differmints between magic and magick...other than the spelling...hmmm...no blood sacrifices...no selling of the soul...money...happpiness...health...love...friends...revenge...power...well, the offerings seem to be the standard stuff...apparently this stuff is so powerful that a secret talisman is needed to prevent its abuse...they need your email address...and of course, whether you're into black or white magick (what, no technicolor magique?).

So after deciding that I could risk the mysterious attacks that might come my way if I practiced deviousness, I filled in a fake name that sounded suitably mystic, and imagined up an email address...I had to steel myself and hang onto reality tight...this was well and truly a wooicane, Force 12 or better...

I was offered over 127 quick'n'eazy magiq (hey, if they can spell it their way, I can spell it mine) spells and rituals...apparently everyone else's spells'n'rituals are a big farce...the old daggers and bat's blood are apparently out of date. But the new versions? fast Fast FAST magiqual relief...only five minutes and they can teach you how to do it?

There are so many examples cited, it's hard to know where to start...practicing witchcraft in solitary (forget going blind, you'll turn into a troll!)...the multiple planes of existence (paper, glider, prop, jet)...energy for life from the sun (magiqual solar cells!)...personal energy exposed (hey, there's laws against that)...chackras (apparently, there is no magickal spell checker)...oils for promoting wealth (I suggest large quantities of light sweet crude)...protective crystals to repel mental and physical evildoers (do the Yellow Bamboo Boys know about these?)...

Apparently there's so much good mojo out there that one book just won't hold it all! They offer a second book for FREE (even though it's worth over $90...they claim)...rituals for casting money, creating a personal wishing well, attractiveness to the opposite sex ("Yeah, babe, I'm a 'leventeenth-level mage...wanna see my magic wand?")...

And the testimonials...one dude was really sick, with fever and the shakes...but with the help of the healing energy exercises, he felt pretty good the next morning, and a couple of days later he was just fine!!! Could you ask for more positive proof?

...ooooooo...how to make your own voodoo dolls...

And if I go to their secure server (it's the one with the dreamcatchers hanging off the hard drive), for a grand total of $37 they'll send me the first two books AND EVEN A THIRD ONE , detailing the templates for perfect spells (can I save this template in MSWord so my computer won't crash any more?) and instructions on how to design your own spells!

And to top all of this off, if it doesn't work to your satisfaction, there's a 90-day money-back guarantee, and you get to keep the free offers (books 2 and 3)!!!

And all this comes from the Olde Country...namely, Vienna (which they spell Wien) Austria...

So what the heck...go on over, slip in something faked, and check this scheisse out...and tell 'em Garsko sent ya...
 
Mmm, I let my old partner Trinity (the shaman) look at it. She wasn't impressed.:rolleyes:

Hans
 
Speaking of the spelling of magick/magic. The reason for the final 'k' was so that Uncle Aleister Crowley could have his gematria work out correctly. I forget what he was trying to equate to magic, but he had to add the 'k' to get it to work.

The whole thing about 'magick' be real, or to seperate it from Stage Magic or whatever is all ad hoc.
 
First of all, apparently there's a differmints between magic and magick...other than the spelling

A friend of mine explained to me that magic refers to what stage magicians and illusionists do and magick with a 'k' refers to casting spells, and other things that believers do. I'll leave it to you to decide if that's a differmints.
 
A friend of mine explained to me that magic refers to what stage magicians and illusionists do and magick with a 'k' refers to casting spells, and other things that believers do. I'll leave it to you to decide if that's a differmints.

1) see my post above yours
2) From Here
Magic(k)
Charms, curses, necromancy, levitation, etc. Yes, the stuff from fairy tales. In other words, the same definition of "magic" that has been around for centuries before the tree-huggers-with-typewriters got ahold of it. (Aleister Crowley, incidentally, added the "k" to make his gematria fit.)

Some where at home, I think I have Uncle Al's description of his whole gematria thing with 'magic'. I'm not terribly interesting in wading through his Book of Magic to find it, unless there's an uproar over this.
 
Mmm, I let my old partner Trinity (the shaman) look at it. She wasn't impressed.:rolleyes:

Hans
Typical crap page. If they could cast half those spells they would be greatest wizards in all history. I do not think spells work at all. Never met anybody who could make a spell work unless the victim knew about spell. If you think i am a real wizard and i say you will feel sick - you feel sick.

Trinity
 
Typical crap page. If they could cast half those spells they would be greatest wizards in all history. I do not think spells work at all. Never met anybody who could make a spell work unless the victim knew about spell. If you think i am a real wizard and i say you will feel sick - you feel sick.

Trinity

There is a reason why, just before I decided to openly declare myself as agnostic/atheistic, when people would ask me what books I would reccommend to them as good beginners guides to MAGE-ick (I'm not making this one up...that's how some are pronouncing it now), I recommend any of the Discworld novels by Terry Prachett, but especially the ones featuring Granny Weatherwax. Headology is the only "magick" I still believe in.
 
Discworld is cool, although when you've read a couple, you get sort of fed up, IMHO.

Ok, make that half a dozen ;).

Hans
 
I am also a Discworld fan. I constantly wonder how Pratchett can keep going from book to book and still not slip into a habit.
 
If we accept this definition, that "Magic" is what stage magicians (like The Amazing Randi) do, and that "Magick" is casting spells and curses and such, then the difference is that "Magic" works, "Magick" does not.

Robert
 
Alohamora is a good one, very reliable. Sectumsepra is tricky, but highly effective in combat. Expellimarius is a good disarming spell for pacifists.
Do not attempt Crucio unless you are certain of your ability.

Do not read Snape/Lupin fanfiction. By all that is sacred, do not read Snape/Lucius fanfiction.

In all seriousness, I have attempted to cast magical spells. I liked the ritual. I liked the feelings. It filled a need.

But it didn't actually accomplish anything.
 
Mmm, I let my old partner Trinity (the shaman) look at it. She wasn't impressed.:rolleyes:

Hans

Shaperson, shurely?
 

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