Which Christianity would you choose?

[Minoosh]

There are very many denominations and sects in Christianity, and I was sort-of raised in a rather unforgiving one. Actually my mom deliberately did not ram it down our throats and baptism in the Church of Christ was a choice. I did not get baptized, but my brother ended up being confirmed as an Episcopalian and we had to keep it secret from our grandmother. She described hell-fire quite convincingly and I'm pretty sure she thought Episcopalians were going to hell.

I know a little bit about many denominations and have some idea where I might fit in if I had to make a choice. Living in accordance to the supposed teachings of Jesus appeals to me but the doctrine that solidified centuries after his death does not, of course, confine itself to saying "emulate Jesus."

If for some reason I was required to join a Christian church I do have preferences and was curious if anyone else did. I reject a loving God that would condemn billions of people to eternal suffering. What then are my theological options?

Judaism, I think I'd be OK with. But what species of Christianity might also work?

 

[Dr.Sid]

Did you consider atheism ? And no, it doesn't mean you can drop you morals all together. It just means you can hold your morals because you consider it good, and just don't bother about gods and hells and stuff like that.

 

[ComfySlippers]

Did you consider atheism ? And no, it doesn't mean you can drop you morals all together. It just means you can hold your morals because you consider it good, and just don't bother about gods and hells and stuff like that.

This is important.
An oft used excuse given by religious folk is "Without God where can we get our morals from?"

It's used surprisingly often and is, imho, a ridiculous thing to say.

The notion that humans can't have morals without believing in fairy tales is ludicrous.

For people to believe such a thing they must have a very low opinion of themselves. Which is, of course, one of the tools used by religion.

 

[LarryS]

Christianity, as with any religion, if there was anything to to at its inception; it has fully run its course and become bankrupt. If you think there is something to reality worthy of reverence, you'd be best served venturing out on your own.

 

[The Big Dog]

There are very many denominations and sects in Christianity, and I was sort-of raised in a rather unforgiving one. Actually my mom deliberately did not ram it down our throats and baptism in the Church of Christ was a choice. I did not get baptized, but my brother ended up being confirmed as an Episcopalian and we had to keep it secret from our grandmother. She described hell-fire quite convincingly and I'm pretty sure she thought Episcopalians were going to hell.

I know a little bit about many denominations and have some idea where I might fit in if I had to make a choice. Living in accordance to the supposed teachings of Jesus appeals to me but the doctrine that solidified centuries after his death does not, of course, confine itself to saying "emulate Jesus."

If for some reason I was required to join a Christian church I do have preferences and was curious if anyone else did. I reject a loving God that would condemn billions of people to eternal suffering. What then are my theological options?

Judaism, I think I'd be OK with. But what species of Christianity might also work?

As long as they let you have a drink now and again, have a good community and don't get all kerklempt about evolution, you'll probably be alright.

Lutherans seem pretty chill.

 

[The Sparrow]

IF I were to embrace any sort of Christianity, it would have to be more on the christian mytsic side. The whole altered consciousness, visions of god, Hildegard von Bingham thing kinda appeals to me.

 

[Joey McGee]

Rastafarians obviously. Smoking dope is awesome.

 

[metacristi]

There are very many denominations and sects in Christianity, and I was sort-of raised in a rather unforgiving one. Actually my mom deliberately did not ram it down our throats and baptism in the Church of Christ was a choice. I did not get baptized, but my brother ended up being confirmed as an Episcopalian and we had to keep it secret from our grandmother. She described hell-fire quite convincingly and I'm pretty sure she thought Episcopalians were going to hell.

I know a little bit about many denominations and have some idea where I might fit in if I had to make a choice. Living in accordance to the supposed teachings of Jesus appeals to me but the doctrine that solidified centuries after his death does not, of course, confine itself to saying "emulate Jesus."

If for some reason I was required to join a Christian church I do have preferences and was curious if anyone else did. I reject a loving God that would condemn billions of people to eternal suffering. What then are my theological options?

Judaism, I think I'd be OK with. But what species of Christianity might also work?

Although definitely outside the fold of traditional Christianity I'd choose a form of Liberal Christianity which managed (almost) to raise unaided Human Reason to its right place (Thom Stark seems to be such a Christian, criticized by Loftus here, Stark's reply here).

Yet I think the best solution is atheist-Christianity (I'm definitely sort of a Christian atheist), let us recognize the merits of Christianity in the shaping of Modernity and criticize it only there where it really deserves

 

[paulhutch]

There are very many denominations and sects in Christianity, and I was sort-of raised in a rather unforgiving one. Actually my mom deliberately did not ram it down our throats and baptism in the Church of Christ was a choice. I did not get baptized, but my brother ended up being confirmed as an Episcopalian and we had to keep it secret from our grandmother. She described hell-fire quite convincingly and I'm pretty sure she thought Episcopalians were going to hell.

I know a little bit about many denominations and have some idea where I might fit in if I had to make a choice. Living in accordance to the supposed teachings of Jesus appeals to me but the doctrine that solidified centuries after his death does not, of course, confine itself to saying "emulate Jesus."

If for some reason I was required to join a Christian church I do have preferences and was curious if anyone else did. I reject a loving God that would condemn billions of people to eternal suffering. What then are my theological options?

Judaism, I think I'd be OK with. But what species of Christianity might also work?

Check out your local Unitarian Universalist church (http://www.uua.org/directory/congregations). Many congregations are mostly liberal christian but all have an any belief or non-belief is OK attitude.

 

[fuelair]

As long as they let you have a drink now and again, have a good community and don't get all kerklempt about evolution, you'll probably be alright.

Lutherans seem pretty chill.

some of them are indeed fun.. By the by, I do not hate the religious (beyond the ones who want to force their silliness on others who I would like to help get to their heaven muy rapido)!!!!!!!! But the last has quite a lot of them!!!
Also, I am reasonably certain that is verklempt as that how it was pronounced the only time I ever heard it. I believe it was being said by Mel Brooks at the time . It means (Yiddish) overcome with emotion.

 

[fuelair]

Just hunted through two search engines for the word(s) no kerklempt and all the sources/definititions define it the same way. Hope that helps!!!!

 

[Hutch]

As long as they let you have a drink now and again, have a good community and don't get all kerklempt about evolution, you'll probably be alright.

Lutherans seem pretty chill.

Which Lutherans? There are several sects, or "Synods" as they call themselves, ranging from 'moderate' to 'strong fundie'. And all of them think they are the true voice from that these-nailing monk.

 

[ComfySlippers]

It's a funny question; "Which Christianity would you choose?"
I think the humour is lost on the religious.

Cafeteria-Christianity. Choose the one you like. The one you believe in. The other ten thousand flavours are all wrong of course.

If only this God fella had written some clues down in a coherent manner to convey his message, then you could all be the same flavour.
You'd still all be wrong, but at least you'd stop killing each other and pretending you don't masturbate or have sex.

Follow Islam instead. That's pretty groovy cos you get a free book of the 25 rules of how to use the toilet thrown in. Die for the master and you go to heaven on a flying horse, your penis gets extra big and sensitive, and a truck load of virgins are waiting for you.

Mormons are a hoot. They're quite good at changing their rules when it suits them. Funky special underpants too. Their founder was really honest and believable. If you're three.

Be a Roman Catholic and get brainwashed into thinking you're scum and a worthless piece of ****. They're a fun bunch.
You get The Pope bloke too. He's awesome cos he gets to decide which miracles are real. Mother Theresa, lovely woman, cracking personality.

Jehovahs Witnesses. Awesome. Just don't end up in hospital.

Here's a whacky idea: don't chose any.

If you really need to be told what's wrong and what's right don't be depending on The Bible. You know, that little thing about how it's ok to own a slave if he doesn't die within two days of you beating him.
Women are catered for too. Awesome God-Rule about having to marry the man who rapes you.

The rules of life are pretty straight forward. Don't kill people, don't nick their stuff and don't shag their wives. Be nice to each other.

If you need a religion to teach you that then church is the least of your problems.

With that, I'm off to covet my neighbour's ass.

Happy Easter.

 

[HansMustermann]

You know, I have a question though... If, in that scenario, I'm essentially supposed to just pick whichever sect's ideas and morals I like more -- or rather dislike less -- why does it have to be specifically Xianity? Does picking something like, say, Cainite gnosticism just because it has some Xianity in it, have some inherent benefit over just going with some pagan kind of neo-platonism?

 

[Bikewer]

Our local "Unity" church, while nominally Christian, seems to let the congregation believe pretty much what they want to, and just hang out together. The last time I was there ( a friend of our was performing) they even had a UFO group!
No religious symbols in sight, no crosses or bleeding Jesus statues..

Low-key to the nines.

 

[calebprime]

Just hunted through two search engines for the word(s) no kerklempt and all the sources/definititions define it the same way. Hope that helps!!!!

verklempt

From the Mike Meyers characters.

Verklempt - choked with emotion (German verklemmt = emotionally inhibited in a convulsive way)
This is not FAKE Yiddish - unless you are one of the linguists who consider Yiddish a "fake", i.e. non-transformational language.

Sorry if I've missed a joke, somewhere

 

[HansMustermann]

Our local "Unity" church, while nominally Christian, seems to let the congregation believe pretty much what they want to, and just hang out together. The last time I was there ( a friend of our was performing) they even had a UFO group!
No religious symbols in sight, no crosses or bleeding Jesus statues..

Low-key to the nines.

Well, yes, that would be my choice if I HAD to (second choice going to the Anglicans; half of those don't even believe in the Queen, much less God), but that's also what prompted my question. If Unitarian or wossname, those fellas who thought having lots of sex is communion, are OK choices because they say they're "Christian", then it seems to me like I can just skip the "Unitarian" part and believe whatever I want as it is. So really what's the point of that restriction?

 

[Delvo]

If, in that scenario, I'm essentially supposed to just pick whichever sect's ideas and morals I like more -- or rather dislike less -- why does it have to be specifically Xianity?

Because the people who wrote the law wrote it that way.

I reject a loving God that would condemn billions of people to eternal suffering. What then are my theological options?

Islam. There's still the whole eternal-torture thing, but, instead of pretending that torture is love, it allows the more honest and consistent response: "Yes it's totally psychotic & cruel, not loving, but what can you do about it?" It's lovecraftianism with a single god instead of multiple. It can even be shoehorned into the category "Christian", since "Christ" is its second-place prophet.

 

[Beelzebuddy]

Why ask us, when there are perfectly good guidebooks available?

 

[HansMustermann]

Well, if the Islam or Mormons count as "Christian" for the scope of this exercise, and even Judaism does (you know, despite not having a Christ yet), then I'm a Seven Dwarf Adventist. We believe that God gave us his only begotten daughter, Snow White, who choked on the apple for our sins and then rose, defeating death. See, that Jesus fellow had kinda failed, so God had to send a woman to do the job right