What do you mean the June Stundie Finals are here?

[Travis]

Boy what a weird start to July. House renovations, distractions of the redheaded variety, a sick mom and now the Stundie Finals nine days late.

Oh well.

So let us start off with the winner from May where we mused about things strangely destroyed.

Actually, though, if you subtract the plane crashes from the story of 9/11, you get a building strangely destroyed.
​

Pure Stundilicious.

And now the finalists from June.

1) Heck we play catch in the backyard with 30 floor buildings all the time.

You could probably drop the the upper 1/3 [of one of the Twin Towers] from 50 feet and you wouldn't get a like result.

***
2) Our criminal profile indicates that the caveman was knocking cavewomen out to engage in coitus because he believed the cavewomen were full of money.

You should know that money is the basic of all crimes directly or indirectly and when you live the devil way you take the devil habits.

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3) Yes, things in their own category are always untrue. META!

Electromagnetism, unlike gravity, has been experimentally verified. The only experiment that "verifies" gravity involves putting large balls in a wooden box. Yeah, totally believable. Gravity is so silly that science had to put it in its own force category, like an ugly step child.

***
4) This sounds like an awful waste of truly astounding telekinesis. Perhaps they are Amish interstellar psychokinetic superbeings?

Let's say, they can make a flying saucer with their thought and use it to go on saturn and all commands on the space craft obeys to their thought. They are very quick, i saw an extraterrestrial to knit a dress in less than 5 second.

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5) This explains why those FED guys keep borrowing my car. Good thing my house was bought with barrels of lard!

In 1913, the 16th amendment authorized the creation of the Federal Reserve Bank. The FED then created the "Federal Reserve Note" which is not a true currency at all.

Unknown to most, each U.S. dollar has a "lien of ownership" that follows it wherever it goes. This lien transfers ownership of anything purchased back to the institution that created it, i.e. the Federal Reserve Bank.

***
6) Yes but when I use the word "idiot" it totally means what you think.

You use terms like "facts" and "myths" as if words are not inherently subjective.

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7) What do you mean the scribe says an evil sorcerer prevents him from writing down what he reads elsewhere?

I don't think moses would try copying stuff he had no clue of. And why would he copy gilgamesh in the first place? Moses probaby didn't even know this existed, they didnt have internet or computers back then so copying each other's stories would have been impossible.

***
8) So the bottom card in a house built of his brothers need not worry if the top cards are outnumbered by the bottom ones?

Remember, what you see above the impact zone is equal or weaker than the structure below. The floor you are showing here is impacted only by the floors above. Those floors are not stronger. If there are 15 floor above, then at best, they would only crush 15 floor below. Nor are the columns above stronger than the columns below.
And, if the upper 15 floor did crush the lower 15 floors, it would have to slow down before it stopped at that 15th lower floor.

***
9) Does this mean the Illuminati were taken over by Mormons?

The Illuminati are destroying everything that binds us together. Another front in this war, the British government is taxing pubs out of business. England is losing

A British pub is much more than a place to get drunk. It is a meeting place, the focal point of the community. Everyone has a 'local'.

Pubs are the last remnants of community in atomized Britain.

However, due to the crippling effect of government taxation, they are falling like dominos.

***
10) A scientist from some alternate universe has apparently gotten loose. We must capture him before he kills all the cows (which he thinks eat people) in the name of President Snooki.

Trees give off carbon dioxide; all the plants around us give it off. The fact is some scientists have done some studies saying we’ve got a carbon dioxide shortage right now. That then causes plants to die, that causes environmental damage.

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11) I don't believe numbers work this way.

Kg / m^3 is mass per volume.

Kg / x is mass per variable value.

So, the only way to transform the measurement in common units is assume that x value is just 1

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12) Giant steel structures we can do but a pile of carved rock? Total mystery. Maybe contractors should employ more wizards?

We have no idea what "technologies" the Ancient Egyptians had. Technology doesn't have to mean the same as it does today. IMO they were far more advanced than we give them credit for. We can't even replicate their structures today with the tools and machines we have.

***
13) It's true! I've seen the cartoons where the little elves live in the tree just like it is a skyscraper. I bet they also implanted nanothermite at the time of construction too!

Proof right in front of your eyes. If you can't see it, you're not looking properly. No creaking or bending or even "collapsing". Just clouds of pyroclastic dust and total disintegration of a steel building with a fibrous structure, inspired by nature, much like a tree. Obviously trees are the tallest natural structures shaped by millions of years of evolution so it follows that skyscrapers would mimic their design.
Can you imagine a tree doing this?

***
14) Will big Pharma put the kid through college then? Or at least kick in some cash for their first car?

for example a vaccine is injected into a child and its hidden agenda is to change the genetic code of that child in a specific way? and this specific Gene change is patented by Bobs your uncle corporation….essentially they then own your child?

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15) We could probably stop all immigration if we just advertised America as the land where we punish children for the crimes of their parents.

Obama has made an offensive and insulting decision to grant amnesty to illegal immigrants. What of us legal immigrants and children of legal immigrants who had to wait in line, follow the rules, and jump through all the legal hurdles to get here?

Why bother following the rules? Are rules now something to ignore? What about the rest of the laws, should we all ignore the remaining laws?

***
16) Holy excluded middle Batman! Should we let him know that the internet was invented by a government?

Okay, well if you think government is so awesome. Then why don't you stop using anything done by private hands, why don't you build your own cellphone and computer from raw materials. What a silly argument. This whole "blah blah go live in the jungle if you don't want to pay taxes"-syndrome in our hell hole of a country is going to die, it will just take time and education of the stupid masses. Until them I'll just have to sit back and wait for the new enlightenment age the internet will bring

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17) Well yes, that's where "gobs of whatever" go but "scads of I don't know" go directly to the cornea while "oodles of beats me" collect in the foot. Oddly "scores of what the hell?" just get passed out in the urine.

Think about it. You inject gobs of whatever into a baby's arm. Where's it going to wind up?

gastrointestinal tract

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18) In response to your critique that I need "evidence" for my thesis I find your attempt to get me to research things malicious and belligerent.

You know it would be somewhat impossible to get sources for this information, so your attempt to subvert my point by forcing me to get sources is disingenuous and meaningless.

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19) Well doesn't all good science include demons in their hypothesis along with phrases such as "near as I can tell"?

this is my impression: the most vulnerable age for preparing a person for mind control is between two and four years of age because of the development of the child’s mind at that age. Traumatic things can damage them worse than if they were younger or older. Also, in order to be programmable there needs to be a change in the way their mind works between two and four. That change can only be achieved by sodomy.

E: What is it about sodomy that does that?

M: It attacks the nerves at the base of the spine and causes something neurological to happen within the brain. It also has a spiritual, demonic component to it that affects the person’s mind in a way that nothing else will, as near as I can tell.

***
20) In any universe where there is gravity. That basically means all of them except the one where fish keep condors as pets.

In what universe does a mass of debris compact itself?

 

[brazenlilraisin]

1, 3, 8, 13, 19. Of the ones I wanted to vote for but didn't, I'm sorriest I didn't vote for 7.

 

[GlennB]

The tree-skyscraper is so good it gets all my vote

 

[Cocana The Second]

It has to be 4. Nothing quite reaches that level of daftness.

 

[Orphia Nay]

8, 17, 18, 19.

 

[Dave Rogers]

I think 18 deserves honourable mention for its stylish use of the previously unknown idiom "somewhat impossible".

Dave

 

[Border Reiver]

I'd like to thank those people who donated more than one to this month's competition.

 

[Straw Man]

19. Anal sex and demons is always a winner.

 

[Rolfe]

I think I just lost about 50 IQ points reading that lot.

Rolfe.

 

[jaydeehess]

3,4,7,18,19
Moses being cut off from all information because of the internet not being created yet, has to be my fav though

 

[Spindrift]

I usually only vote for five but I couldn't narrow it down.
7, 10, 11, 16, 18, 19

 

[Travis]

3,4,7,18,19
Moses being cut off from all information because of the internet not being created yet, has to be my fav though

As Dave noted when he nominated it there isn't anything conspiracy about it but it was just so funny I had to include it.

 

[akama1]

The pub conspiracy had me giggling, I may need to start using that one.
also 11, 13 and 20 broke my brain. I think I heard my jaw crack when I read 11

 

[thedopefishlives]

The pub conspiracy had me giggling, I may need to start using that one.
also 11, 13 and 20 broke my brain. I think I heard my jaw crack when I read 11

11 is even more brain-shattering if you read it in its context. The author was trying to argue that "bodies per cubic meter" is not a valid unit of measure. It was an epic, yet intentional, fail of dimensional analysis.

 

[Orphia Nay]

I can't believe I didn't notice how dumb #7 was when I was voting.
I think I was just overwhelmed by the stundipity of the whole bunch.

 

[akama1]

11 is even more brain-shattering if you read it in its context. The author was trying to argue that "bodies per cubic meter" is not a valid unit of measure. It was an epic, yet intentional, fail of dimensional analysis.

Bwah ha?. brain drain out ear now. homer go nap now

 

[thedopefishlives]

Bwah ha?. brain drain out ear now. homer go nap now

Yeah, basically. All in the name of denial. My favorite part was when he plugged a series of equations into Wolfram Alpha and tried to claim that because it refused to recognize "bodies per cubic meter" as a unit, that it therefore had to be a variable.

 

[Mr.D]

Yeah, basically. All in the name of denial. My favorite part was when he plugged a series of equations into Wolfram Alpha and tried to claim that because it refused to recognize "bodies per cubic meter" as a unit, that it therefore had to be a variable.

The silence on the topic from the other deniers on the thread is telling; though it is in a weird way somehow consistent. A typical holocaust denier attitude seems to be that if they can show any inconsistency or error in the historical or literary record then the entirety of the holocaust is in doubt.

Turn that attitude around; acknowledging any error (even a ridiculous one about mathematical units) by a fellow holocaust denier must mean that the entirety of holocaust denial must be in doubt.

 

[Klimax]

As Dave noted when he nominated it there isn't anything conspiracy about it but it was just so funny I had to include it.

Who cares anyway. It's good for votes...

 

[TSR]

A can't help noticing whose nom would be in the lead if not for that, tho...