"Virtuallly" paying last respects????

[Ladyhawk]

Maybe I've just gotten too old for some of the marvels technology offers. But, something I saw in the obituaries last Sunday made me wonder ...

I noticed that many funeral homes now offer their website address so that interested parties can pay their last respects via email on the home's website. What ever happened to actually visiting? Or, if time and/or circumstances didn't permit, why not send a card directly to the family of the deceased?

I love the things the Internet allows me to do, to wit: shopping without going outside in the snow, filing for unemployment without having to stand in line, buying stamps, staying in touch with friends without running up a phone bill. But some things seem like they shouldn't qualify for reaching out and touching someone over the Web.

Am I alone in this sentiment? How would you react if a friend emailed their condolences to you/your family rather than through a visit or a personally written card?

(Disclaimer: since hawks occasionally meet their end flying into rocks or via predators, virtual last respects on the JREF forum would be considered in good taste, should your friendly, neighborhood Ladyhawk meet such a fate

 

[TruthSeeker]

I've seen those too.

I think if I were grieving, it would be nice to get an immediate e-note from somebody, especially if they were outside my immediate circle. Online obits might be read by people who are very far away and no longer in close contact. Maybe they don't have my snail mail address and this gives them a way to reach out.

Then, I think, a real note or a call would be nice.

 

[webfusion]

when Jerry Garcia died ---

that was the first time I ran across this method of condolences, after the Grateful Dead lead guitarist had passed and everyone who wanted to was able to express sorrow through a website ---

I don't recall the exact URL address now of the site, but here is a typical page which offers the sincere expressions of this loss:

http://members.cox.net/netkarma/jerlives.html

 

[Meadmaker]

If visiting is impossible, I wouldn't have a problem with it. It also depends on how well you knew someone.

I think the big thing is that you shouldn't consider an e-mail as a "substitute" for whatever else you might have done. There have been a couple of times in my life when I have done something like this. A member of a community died. They might have been someone I admired, and knew by reputation and perhaps an occaisional "hello", but not as a close friend.

To actually go to the funeral would have been almost an intrusion, but I posted my thoughts in places others were able to read. In those cases, if the e-mail/web forum would not have been available, I would probably have done nothing. Or in one case, where the connection was slightly closer, I sent a card to the family, and posted an e-mail to the community site.

I've had more experience with losing friends like this than I wish I had, and it can be comforting to read thoughts of widely scattered people, to know how many lives the deceased touched. On the other hand, if you find yourself thinking, "I really don't want to go to the funeral, I'll just send an e-mail." then you probably shouldn't bother sending the e-mail.