Cain said:
But the majority of the arguments are not being made to turn everything unisex... the arguments being made are to make them be separated on the basis of gender identity instead of sex. And that makes no sense.
I can see a plausible case being made for spas and changing rooms due to exposure and voyeurism, but what about restrooms? If you're against a gender identity standard for restrooms, I'd like to know why. Because enforceability is not just an issue for self-ID. I can waltz into many office buildings right now and use a toilet for free, but if I want to go to a sauna or take a shower, I probably have to pass by a staff member. Access to those facilities is limited because they usually have a price. They're also not as necessary as restrooms. I cannot remember using a communal shower or changing room in my adult life.
So restrooms... Most people are okay with making accommodations in public restrooms, within reason. Of all the items under discussion, the loos are pretty low on the list for the majority of people.
There are some exceptions. For example, restrooms in schools, where the student's don't have any reasonable choice to use or not. And where there've now been a couple of cases of a female being assaulted by a male in the female restroom. I think most middle-school females aren't going to be super crazy about having males in the restroom when they're changing their pads or tampons, and would be extremely uncomfortable if they thought a male might hear it.
The other consideration is that females very frequently use bathrooms in ways that are almost entirely exactly not like the way males use them. And I think that gets ignored a lot, even by well-meaning males, because you very likely don't know.
Females will talk to each other. Sure, you've probably heard about the request for some TP to be handed under the stall when someone is out. But we'll also offer comfort and a hug to a complete stranger who is crying in the toilet. We go to the restroom in groups - you all know this. Partly it's so we're not alone somewhere that we might end up being vulnerable... but very often it's because that's the only space we have that is male-free, where we can talk about things that we don't want to involve males in. We talk about relationships and personal things and medical things, and pretty much all sorts of things, because it's one of the only spaces outside of our own homes where we *can* have those discussions without a male inserting themselves. Which might seem kind of mean... but the reality is that females don't have the privilege of being open about our experiences and our views without a high degree of male scrutiny - and a lot of males seem to think that they are entitled to insert themselves and provide their own views on our experiences.
Bathrooms are also a place that females escape to. I'm not really exaggerating here. In restaurants, in night clubs, in any public venue where there's a likelihood of a male looking to hook up... the bathroom is where we get away from them. I would guess that almost every adult female in your life has had this experience - they go out with some friends, and a male starts hitting on one of them, and just won't take no for an answer. When we run out of ways to say "go away, I'm not interested"... we go to the bathroom and stay there until we think maybe he will have gone away. I've been cornered against a wall by a pushy male at a party, I've been stuck in a booth by a male who decided they were going to join my friend and I - without having been invited. And I, like most females, have also had the experience of telling a male in no uncertain terms to go away and then having them get very aggressively angry at me, start calling me names, and then follow me around with threats and intimidation. It's not uncommon.
Those are some of the things that females use bathrooms for, that most males are probably not aware of. And consequently, that's what we lose if all bathrooms are made unisex in order to cater to gender identity.
It's an accommodation that could be tolerable to females in general... but it should be recognized that females are giving up more than just a place to pee.
So agree!!
