That's right, there is no evidence supporting that traffic lights actually do anything except drive people into murderous rage which causes fatal accidents. (Why, I knew this one little boy, who would get mad every time the light went from green to yellow. One day he snapped and shot up an elementary school. If he'd known the meanings of words in my dictionary, he wouldn't have done it.) And you know what? They are dictionaries. Now I have with me my own dictionary, Webster's 19th Century English Dictionary, which is so much better than the traffic light. My dictionary has definitions of words which are useful in communication, whereas a traffic light just has a bunch of pretty colors which are designed to cause accidents. Plenty of fatal accidents have occured because of traffic lights, but there have been no car accidents caused by dictionaries. And my dictionary is a valid traffic light, too. It has three lights and connects to the power grid. Here, I'll show you, I'll keep it under this tarp but you can see the lights if you don't lift it. Ooop, you missed them, but they're there, and they're better than regular traffic lights, becuase dictionaries don't cause problems. If only the law would put dictionaries in place of traffic lights at our intersections, the world would be a much safer place.
- Dr. Kent Hovind
- Dr. Kent Hovind