The Hubbard Electro-Psychometer

[rikzilla]

Otherwise known as the e-meter

Yesterday as I was walking to the bus stop I passed a group of people hawking a "Free Stress Test" in Farragut Park @ K and Connecticut in downtown DC. I recognised the "cans" right away and thought it would be fun to sit down and have these idiots try to read me.

Well, a cute young girl named Astrid...sunny, yet vapid...told me that this cool device would actually read my thoughts! I almost busted up laughing at her, but somehow held it in.

I held the cans and she twiddled some knobs and told me to think of areas in my life that were giving me pain. She wasn't very competent really...I disarmed her by doing a very nice, open, smiley act and never once changed my expression. As I thought, she was merely unconciously using the thing to cold read me...and since I offered her nothing but unchanging friendliness I was a complete enigma to her and could see her frustration.

She also let me see the machine...and I noticed that if I changed my grip on the cans I could make the needle go wherever I wanted....so much for the magic mind reading aspect of this thing.

All it does is make your hands tingle a little. Finally I got bored with it all and got up, but never once changed my act or questioned anything. They loved me for my feigned credulousness and invited me to the their DC headquarters for a tour.

I might take them up on it, it's not far from my office. Poor Astrid, if she had a little coaching on cold reading she'd be sooo much better at e-meter audits....but sadly she's a believer in all that whooey.

At first after leaving I couldn't stop chuckling at the stupidity of it all....after that though I just feel overwhelmingly sorry for the girl.

-z

 

[Zep]

By squeezing the cans or moving your hands slightly (i.e. changing the electrical capactiance/resistance/whatever) you can make the needle jump about at your command. So it would be amusing to make it wave about totally unconnected to their questions.

For example, every time the "operator" moves make the needle jump. If they stand or shift, BIG jump. See how long it takes for them to make the correspondence. Or have it swing up and stay there throughout the session. Or not move at all. Or tick rhythmically like a clock. Fun for the whole family...