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Smite Club!

Astreja

Springy Goddess
Astreja
Joined
Dec 26, 2009
Messages
1,513
This is an open invitation to theists and nontheists alike to participate in a series of experiments.

The challenge: Within a reasonable time span (for example, 2 hours on a specific date), can you get prayers, magic, or non-divine intense thinking to actually work? If so, under what conditions and to what degree of precision?

You may enlist the help of one or more of your favourite deities, if you are so inclined, and you may utilize any props or symbols of your choosing, and you may work in groups. To keep things orderly, I suggest the following ground rules:

  1. Please keep any negative supplications and desired outcomes to the "mischief" side, rather than opting for malice. In other words, feel free to pray for the target to spill his drink but not for any physical harm such as coffee burns or toes bruised by falling beverage containers.
  2. Only one active challenge at a time.
  3. Be as specific as possible as to what you would like to see happen, but at the same time check to make sure it's something out-of-the-ordinary. For instance, don't pray for the other party to answer a ringing phone or to go to the store for a bag of potato chips.
  4. Before starting, be sure to confirm the time slot with your opponent (and perhaps use UTC as the master clock, correcting for your respective time zones).
  5. The defending party is asked to report anything out-of-the-ordinary that occurs during the agreed-upon time period.
  6. Where desired, the "prayer warrior" may go into "prayer ninja" mode by PMing the suggested victory conditions to Me in advance. The PM must contain a phrase to the effect of "I authorize Astreja to publish this in the Smite Club thread after {name of prayer target} has reported his/her findings," or I will be unable to post the contents of the PM.
  7. If you are on the receiving end of the prayer attempt you may passively observe, or you may actively fight back with counter-prayer, ceremonial magic, mantras, speed metal cranked up to 11 or anything else you think might be helpful. (You do not have to reveal this to your opponent in advance. If you would like this to be recorded in the thread, send Me a PM with the details and an authorization to publish at the end of the round, as above.)
  8. If for any reason either party wishes to withdraw from the round, please respect that.
  9. These rules are subject to modification. Feel free to suggest improvements.
  10. Have fun!
Let's get ready to rumble! Who wants to play against Me in the first round? (Attack or defend, your choice)
 
What fun!
I was once cursed in a Nigerian forum because I openly mocked a popular fire and brimstone preacher.

Let's see if a Norse divinity has more fire power!
PM being considered.
 
Last edited:
Astreja said:
The challenge: Within a reasonable time span (for example, 2 hours on a specific date), can you get prayers, magic, or non-divine intense thinking to actually work?
Click to expand...
Can I get non-divine intense thinking to actually work? Of course; intense thinking can be very effective for solving problems.
 
We have our first confirmed match-up set for 0100-0300 UTC on October 8, 2012. I'll be the attacker; Pakeha will be the defender. My desired outcome: Failure of one battery-operated device within Pakeha's home. Methodology still being worked out, but will publish in thread.

P.J. Denyer has volunteered to be a prayer target. Who wants to take the attacking side?
 
dlorde said:
Can I get non-divine intense thinking to actually work? Of course; intense thinking can be very effective for solving problems.
Click to expand...

Já, but can you get it to work on someone else?
 
:DI tried to contact the Deities listed on the Deity Net , but got no reply , not even a " please leave your number after the beep , and we'll return your call as soon as possible "...I guess they're all out ! You can never find a Deity when you want one [ just like a Plumber ]..you can attack me anytime you like with your prayers, I'm waitng !!!
 
MrBooglemaumau said:
:DI tried to contact the Deities listed on the Deity Net , but got no reply , not even a " please leave your number after the beep , and we'll return your call as soon as possible "...I guess they're all out ! You can never find a Deity when you want one [ just like a Plumber ]..you can attack me anytime you like with your prayers, I'm waitng !!!
Click to expand...

Challenge accepted. I have asked the Flying Spaghetti Monster to fail one non-mission-critical part of your car the next time you drive it. So, if your cup holder breaks or your radio goes on the fritz, that was me.
 
MrBooglemaumau said:
:DI tried to contact the Deities listed on the Deity Net , but got no reply , not even a " please leave your number after the beep , and we'll return your call as soon as possible "...I guess they're all out ! You can never find a Deity when you want one [ just like a Plumber ]..you can attack me anytime you like with your prayers, I'm waitng !!!
Click to expand...

"All our angels are occupied at present; please hold, your prayer is important to us".
 
carlitos said:
First rule of Smite Club:

You don't talk about Smite Club.
Click to expand...


I'm sorry, but you are clearly wrong. Here's the first rule of Smite Club:

Astreja said:
1. Please keep any negative supplications and desired outcomes to the "mischief" side, rather than opting for malice. In other words, feel free to pray for the target to spill his drink but not for any physical harm such as coffee burns or toes bruised by falling beverage containers.
Click to expand...


I hereby chastise you, partly because your joke was so obvious and hacky, but mostly because you posted it before I had a chance. I'd smite you but that wouldn't be following the rules of Smite Club.
 
Astreja said:
We have our first confirmed match-up set for 0100-0300 UTC on October 8, 2012. I'll be the attacker; Pakeha will be the defender. My desired outcome: Failure of one battery-operated device within Pakeha's home. Methodology still being worked out, but will publish in thread.

P.J. Denyer has volunteered to be a prayer target. Who wants to take the attacking side?
Click to expand...

Your terms are accepted, oh goddess.
There are four battery operated devices in my home.
I'll be watching the wee beasties closely during the agreed time period.
 
Slowvehicle said:
No takers?

I haven't even earned an attempted smiting yet?

Tough crowd...
Click to expand...

If no other deities or non-divine woomeisters step up to the plate,Slowvehicle, I can make an attempt on Tuesday night after I get back from My clarinet lesson.

We're currently in the "smiting in progress" phase of the Astreja/Pakeha match-up. Here's My methodology disclosure to date:

  • Got home from shopping shortly before 0100 UTC (8 pm CDT). Consumed some pizza, wings and diet root beer.
  • Let a bunch of cats out
  • Initial invocation to Self to cause Random Equipment Malfunction of battery-operated device.
  • Finished taking out garbage and recycling.
  • (Material component) Played briefly with a battery-powered lantern that suffers from positional malfunctions, tipping it up and down a few times to watch the light go on and off.
  • Let cats back in and fed them.
  • Fed fish.
  • Filled a crudité dish with chocolate-covered malt balls and cracked open a bottle of icewine.
  • Let one of the cats back out again.
  • Pondered use of Futhark runes for the project, and selected the Raidho (wheel) rune in an inverted position.
  • Had another slice of pizza, just in case.
  • Headed upstairs with icewine, chocolate, the rest of the can of root beer, and 2 spools of gold thread.
  • Started up computer, logged on to JREF, and wrote the above.
  • Scribbled the Raidho rune on a scrap of paper, inverted it, and set it down on the mouse pad.
One possible complicating factor: I have a fresh lump on the left side of My forehead where I bonked it on the top of the car door while preparing to leave the store earlier this evening. Don't know if this is positive, negative or neutral (aside from the obvious soreness of the lump, that is) but am disclosing it in the interest of science.

I will now engage in some divine sewing craftwork to distract Myself and let the unconscious mind have a go at it, but perhaps occasionally meditate on loose battery contacts and cold solder joints.
 
Astreja said:
This is an open invitation to theists and nontheists alike to participate in a series of experiments.
Click to expand...

Matthew 4:7
Jesus answered him, "It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'"
 
paiute said:
Matthew 4:7
Jesus answered him, "It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'"
Click to expand...

Paiute, "the Lord your God" isn't currently the deity in the Woo Octagon, so your quotation is not relevant to the experiment at hand.

And I actually welcome the opportunity to see if I can actually produce Random Equipment Malfunctions in a predictable manner.

It's currently after 0300 UTC, and I've ceased all active efforts to remotely tinker with the devices at Pakeha's house. Unless one of those devices actually misbehaved during the time period, we can put a mark in the 'miss' column.
 
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