September Stundie Finals

[Travis]

We gather here in this time and place to let the word go forth to the farthest reaches of our inhabitable sphere that this exchange of completely dense stupidity actually happened and was voted Teh 28th Annual Stundie Award winner for the month of August in the year 2011 of the common era:

Gee, the US media keeps telling me we need space based nukes for asteroids that want to hit our Earth or aliens that want to invade! Screw treaties for national defense, right?!

Please provide a link to the US media claiming we need "space based nukes" to defend us against aliens or asteroids.

Umm... really? You dont watch disaster movies?

​

That happened people.

And so here is their award

So now onto the finalists for September!

1) Copy that Houston. Cape Canaveral has been sucked into another dimension. Going to back up plan Echo 5. Will execute it as soon as the wormhole is plugged and the winged serpent God monsters issuing forth from it are defeated.

So Professor Wampler wrote to me himself and confirmed he was given Tranquility Base's exact coordinates. This was done many hours before the launch. All that time, the Eagle was said by the Mission Control staff, the astronauts and the PR people to have been lost, at least semi-lost.

****
2) I know, don't question it. King Leopold says we can kill all these natives in our search for rubber because of some book about biology none of us have heard of. Next we'll be mass murdering down in German South West Africa because of Fubini's theorem.

Darwin's vile book of 1859 was followed by the murder of up to 15m people in the Belgian Congo, followed by all of the various genocides of the twentieth century - probably more than 100m in total. There were atrocities committed before 1859, but very few on a comparable scale to what has happened since. Presumably Richard Dawkins wants more genocide to occur in the future.

****
3) In shocking news it seems life on Earth isn't possible since sunlight can't seem to cross the magnetosphere on account of the ionizing radiation that is also, coincidentally, from the sun.

For the benefit of those readers unfamiliar with the elements that make up my deep space telemetry signals denial (DSTSD) I will re-elaborate this idea in the simplest terms possible-

My claim is that no radio or telemetry signals can cross the fields of intense ionizing radiation that make up the magnetosphere enveloping our planet and protecting it from the vilest of the cosmic radiations especially those arising from our close proximity to a big active star.

****
4) I'm unaware of the elementary physics that state endothermic reactions can't happen in vacuums.

Ice evaporates in boiling water whereas sublimation into a vacuum is a bold denial of elementary physics.

****
5) I'm totally counting on those terrorists being as lazy and ignorant as myself.

Do you really think I care about a terrorist in a country I can't find on a map or even spell?

****
6) Now I'm not racist. But all those agencies just look alike to me. And you can't spell NTSB without a "b" right?

You do realize that the NTSB did not investigate the events of 911, right?

You also realize that the NTSB does a reconstruction for a reason, right?

You debunkers really need to start getting together beforehand, plan some strategy and all start singing from the same song sheet.

So which is it?

****
7) Does the guide include the part where your starting premises have to be true?

I believe this proves that the footage broadcast on TV shows a fake plane.


Here's the logic...


1. Real-life plane crashes are too complex to fake convincingly using computer software.

2. This plane crash was faked using basic computer software and is a convincing copy of the plane crash that was shown on TV.

3. Therefore, the plane crash that was shown on TV is not a real-life plane crash.

This is a guide to constructing and assessing logical arguments...

****
8) Well my psychics tell me it was because of my story on the ultra-logger. A machine able to cut down 85 trees at once. Also I'm due for a change in my life and will meet an old friend with a name with an "e" in it.

Two of my psychics tell me it was because of a series of stories we are doing about the Mega-Quarry -- 2300 acres will be turned from potato growing into a hole in the ground 200 feet deep for the limestone that will be shipped to the U.S. and China. For drywall. 7,000 trucks a day, 23 tons of explosives 7 days a week.

****
9) Hey, it's a good thing we got these goggles on. Say, is there any chance anyone else will go out to look at the moon on this night? There is? We don't care? What about Triffids? Nevermind. Proceed with the experiment.

We learn in this article from the professors that the ruby light actually illuminated the surface of the moon despite its very brief duration, or pulse. Pulses of light should have been seen on Armstrong's moon video toward the end of the EVA.

The personal at Lick Observatory wore glasses to protect their eyes from reflected light, and even then , only would view any reflected light through a tv monitor out of concern for their eye safety.

****
10) Well my head says you are actually Pol Pot here via a disturbance in quantum......something or other. I even prayed and cried so it must be true! I PRAYED AND CRIED PEOPLE!

I was reading some info on the forums recently about Obama and Osama at least being related. I am now convinced that they are at least brothers, but my head is tellling me they are the same person. That revelation effected me so deeply that it brought me to tears and then I had to get on my face before Jehovah, because I knew the extent of the deception but did/do not want to believe it. I am still struggling with that. I think so much more is fake than real it is astounding.

****
11) But was it 800,000 liters tall?

WTC7 was an acre and a half away from the North Tower yet that is what we are being asked to believe.

****
12) I totally proof of concept tested this by passing my hand over a candle. So I'm confident it will work. What about the smoke? There was smoke!

Either way, if they were thinking clearly...it would be better to have looked
for heat resistant items in their rooms and take your chances running through the fire,
that way least you have a CHANCE of living, but again, the pain of having a chance
is apparently too much.
Now if they couldn't find heat resistant items, then try running through with clothes you know wont catch fire that easy, or go through naked...yes naked, that way you wont have burning clothes and last I checked, I don't think body parts can catch fire, that easily.

****
13) Snooty, Frigid Neanderthals. Coming this Fall from ABC. Watch them totally unsex themselves into extinction.

I've been thinking lately - what if the entire Sapiens race is nothing more than a breeding population that was established by Neanderthal rejects? Maybe the girls got so picky after 500,000+ years they were rejecting more males than they were giving the seal of approval to. These discards may have clustered in a valley somewhere and formed a village of their own and begun to breed with other mental defectives. With their increased birth rate due to promiscuity and a distinct lack of choosiness for mates, eventually they got the numbers on the Neanderthal aristocrats and were able to pose a menace to the communities that expelled them for being aggressive towards their own kind and otherwise being marked as damaged goods. It was the revolt of the dysgenics. The unfit may have gotten the jump on their betters with the help of an unexpected change to the climate.

****
14) Rogers! Your idea was brilliant! We don't need these expensive software programs. all we need is a feathered, plump avian creature normally consumed for it's delicious meat! Can you say promotion?

None of those items simulates the construction of the buildings as well as a turkey does.

****
15) Ever notice how the rich never die from cancer.....you haven't? Neither have I. Also....since when does the Federal Reserve regulate medicine?

Ron Paul wants to end the Fed. ie. say goodbye to Rothschild's grip on America.

Trust me when I say they have cured nearly every disease out there but do not release it due to these big corp and pharma making $trill off diseases.

Ever wondered why the royal families, Rothschild and the rest all live to their 90+ years of age in good health. If America rids the FDA and big pharma of this corruption health care would improve massively. We have cures released....not crappy treatments like chemo.

****
16) They are like identical twins! Except one has different hair, a longer nose, a squarer chin and is of the opposite gender.

The author is pointing to rules and procedure in a U.S. District court.
Same exists in the U.K.
Verbatim.
just written differently.

****
17) So basic elements can cure the other basic elements? Do they do it through karma?

I've recently stumbled on the facts of how we are being poisoned by fluoride, chloride, bromide, heavy metals, and other chemical toxins including those in the pharmaceutical drugs that are pushed on us, while at the same time research into simple natural solutions including supplementation of basic elements such as iodine, boron, magnesium, and selenium may be able to eliminate harmful metals and halides from your body over time and can prevent further damage.

****
18) Hmmm, I wonder if there is a correlation between the use of child labor and the sophisticated nature of a society's medical system?

For example, the main emotional conflicts behind polio are fear of being stuck, imprisoned, and forced to work beyond one's abilities. The great polio epidemics coincide with the industrial age and died out with the end of child labor. In nations where child labor is still used, polio still presents a problem.

****
19) Yeah, to further explain why this is dumb I present an expert on logical fallac.......oh I almost got you! You're onto the fact that experts don't really exist.

I thank you for your service to our country.
I appreciate your comment and sincerely wish you were correct but the facts indicate otherwise. Remember, an 'expert' can be found to say anything. This is why 'appeal to authority' is a logical fallacy.

****
20) So the Inside Job contractors donated their service to the cause? And they did it for the greater good?

This way of looking at it is called 'pro bono' (who gains) or, if you like 'follow the money' and is one of the strongest reasons that I believe that 9/11 was an inside job.

****

And there you have it folks. Vote for the best. Remember you can vote for more than one.

 

[Ysidro]

Whoo! Third vote! First comment!

Sorry...

But damn, crazies abound this month. And every month.

 

[Mashuna]

Very crazy. I didn't want to vote for any but the craziest, still ended up voting for eleven of them.

 

[Mr.D]

Bountiful crop this month indeed.

 

[Skepticemea]

I cried with laughter and pray never to meet that poster. Unarmed.

 

[Agatha]

The difficulty was deciding which ones not to vote for, all are worthy winners. There is a lot of crazy in the world.

 

[Sabrina]

I didn't have difficulty deciding; usually I end up with about five I'm torn between, but this month was easy.

I mean... comparing the construction of the Twin Towers to a turkey was... I'm still speechless on that one.

 

[jargon buster]

5,12 and 16 for me although it has been a bumper crop for September.

 

[Dumb All Over]

Short, concise, clear, succinct, and kookoo as all getup; #14.

 

[carlitos]

#6 - FBI / NTSB because the nominee actually posted that photo to bolster their argument.

#14 - WTC / Turkey model is breathtaking.

#16 - Last but not least, Verbatim. Just written differently is all kinds of awesome.

 

[Travis]

I sorta liked the one about escaping the towers by being naked.

 

[carlitos]

I think I find some of those too disrespectful to even be funny. Like Dylan Avery laughing about boxcutters. I mean "if they were thinking clearly" - like one of our nominees would be cool in time of crisis.

 

[patchbunny]

Didn't care much for the crop this month. I went with #11.

 

[Mr.D]

I think I find some of those too disrespectful to even be funny. Like Dylan Avery laughing about boxcutters. I mean "if they were thinking clearly" - like one of our nominees would be cool in time of crisis.

But for me anyway, this one in particular wraps around way past disrespectful, beyond ironic and into stundie territory by demonstrating unclear thinking even in hindsight and without a crisis around him; particularly when you consider the usual truther meme of "we're doing it for the victims."

 

[Jrrarglblarg]

Poor Alexis1111. No respect.


I vote for #3 because I think you guys fail to understand the mind bending idiocy behind the "magic magnetosphere" theory, and the accompanying "self healing mesh topology network of LEO satellites" used to simulate Geosynchronous Orbit, necessary because satellites are unable to transmit any signals of any kind through the radioactive (meaning active at radio frequencies) Van Allen belts.

You'd have to read at Icke to really, truly understand the entire theory, so I'm not surprised only 2 people have voted for #3.

I'm also voting for #4, because I spent several months attempting to educate Stelios on that very subject before preemptively banning myself from the Delusional Idiots Forum. And here he comes, months later, trotting out again his complete and utter failure to comprehend a very simple phenomenon, demonstrated by middle school science teachers all over the world and easily watched on YouTube.

All the stundie offerings were good, but I'm biased toward/against the Icke nutters, gods love 'em.

 

[Robrob]

I voted "all of the above!"

 

[drewid]

#7 still makes my head hurt

 

[sylvan8798]

9) Hey, it's a good thing we got these goggles on. Say, is there any chance anyone else will go out to look at the moon on this night? There is? We don't care? What about Triffids? Nevermind. Proceed with the experiment.

Love the image of a bunch of geeks watching their monitors with goggles on

15) Ever notice how the rich never die from cancer.....you haven't? Neither have I. Also....since when does the Federal Reserve regulate medicine?

This would be funny if we weren't mourning the loss of Steve Jobs today.

 

[Molinaro]

A bunch of them are just plain stupid rather than being a conspiracy.

 

[Travis]

This would be funny if we weren't mourning the loss of Steve Jobs today.

Would you believe I thought about that Stundie when it was announced on TV?

Wow, I have to get out more.